Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

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ProfessorJohn
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01 May 2015, 6:03 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:

The first real girlfriend I had occurred when I was in graduate school. In other words, I had no money. I didn't have a car, and didn't even have a driver's license at that time (it had been revoked for repeated driving under the influence occurrences). Obviously these things didn't matter to her because we were together for 18 months or so. We ended up breaking up after I graduated, got a job, and a car.

was this in your mid 20's or something?


Barely, I was 29.



WantToHaveALife
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03 May 2015, 11:41 am

ProfessorJohn wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:

The first real girlfriend I had occurred when I was in graduate school. In other words, I had no money. I didn't have a car, and didn't even have a driver's license at that time (it had been revoked for repeated driving under the influence occurrences). Obviously these things didn't matter to her because we were together for 18 months or so. We ended up breaking up after I graduated, got a job, and a car.

was this in your mid 20's or something?


Barely, I was 29.

Interesting, were you a virgin until that age too?



Lazar_Kaganovich
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03 May 2015, 12:22 pm

Will you do us a favor and delete her posts after she's banned.

@sly276: STOP responding to kateekay's troll posts! Do you read me?!? The more you mope, the more she will attack.



Booyakasha
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04 May 2015, 2:34 am

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Will you do us a favor and delete her posts after she's banned.

@sly276: STOP responding to kateekay's troll posts! Do you read me?!? The more you mope, the more she will attack.


Sly responded to that few days ago but no problem, I gladly removed all of her posts done with her sixth account and the posts of those who responded to her, including myself.

Sorry boo, removed your last one as well regarding the barbecue etc since you quoted and responded to her.



ProfessorJohn
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04 May 2015, 9:10 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
ProfessorJohn wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:

The first real girlfriend I had occurred when I was in graduate school. In other words, I had no money. I didn't have a car, and didn't even have a driver's license at that time (it had been revoked for repeated driving under the influence occurrences). Obviously these things didn't matter to her because we were together for 18 months or so. We ended up breaking up after I graduated, got a job, and a car.

was this in your mid 20's or something?


Barely, I was 29.

Interesting, were you a virgin until that age too?


No, I had a couple of short term sexual flings around ages 20-22. As stated earlier, I really wasn't attracted to those women so the relationships didn't go anywhere. I was just attracted to them at first because they were attracted to me. It probably wouldn't have worked out too well if I did try to stay in them long term. I was more or less dateless from ages 22-28, when I was in graduate school. Really intelligent women didn't seem to be attracted to me, but I was pretty messed up then also.



ProfessorJohn
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04 May 2015, 9:15 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've been in situations where I went out with girls because they were attracted to me, rather than vice versa necessarily.

It was good that you got out of that relationship, Professor John. Otherwise, she might have bought you down to her "level." She might have kept you getting DUIs, even, and remaining a (possible) alcoholic.

When you graduated, got the job, car, etc, it seemed to have posed a threat to her.


Actually I was sober 2 1/2 years when this relationship happened. It wasn't the money and job that threatened her, we were just too different in terms of our values and such. She was on the opposite end of the political ideology spectrum from me also, which wasn't easy. It did give me self-confidence and teach me some skills for finding and staying in a relationship. I don't regret it all at. The breakup was very gentle, in that there was no yelling at each other, resentment, etc., we just decided that it wasn't going to work out and left it at that.

My point in mentioning that was that having a job and a car won't determine relationship success, just like not having those things doesn't doom you to failure.

The one I was talking about in terms of me not being really attracted to her and it would have probably ended up in divorce was when I was 21. If I had pursued that one for much longer, I probably wouldn't had gone to graduate school, because I would have been tied down instead. It does seem that most of us think that any relationship is our "last chance" so we do whatever it takes to keep the other person with us.



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05 May 2015, 2:02 am

Yep women don't like weird men and aspies being one of them so expect to stay single for along time! That is life and life sucks!


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WantToHaveALife
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05 May 2015, 11:53 am

even though it may sound like all I do is whine, complain, and rant, I actually have been doing something about my situation in terms of attractiveness, i'm a lot more healthy physically than where I was 3 years ago, I used to be a waist 40, now i'm a waist 34, went from weighing 215lbs to now weighing 175lbs, although last Summer I weighed 162lbs, so my peak weight loss was 53 pounds, I just put on some weight recently because I lost some motivation for exercising at the gym near the end of last year and the first few months of this year, but last week I started working out with a personal trainer at the gym again, hope to get back to 162lbs, and maybe drop more pounds and get a more healthy body-fat percentage.



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05 May 2015, 3:10 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
even though it may sound like all I do is whine, complain, and rant, I actually have been doing something about my situation in terms of attractiveness, i'm a lot more healthy physically than where I was 3 years ago, I used to be a waist 40, now i'm a waist 34, went from weighing 215lbs to now weighing 175lbs, although last Summer I weighed 162lbs, so my peak weight loss was 53 pounds, I just put on some weight recently because I lost some motivation for exercising at the gym near the end of last year and the first few months of this year, but last week I started working out with a personal trainer at the gym again, hope to get back to 162lbs, and maybe drop more pounds and get a more healthy body-fat percentage.


Wow that is great! You must also deel slot beter! Congratz!



WantToHaveALife
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07 May 2015, 2:05 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
even though it may sound like all I do is whine, complain, and rant, I actually have been doing something about my situation in terms of attractiveness, i'm a lot more healthy physically than where I was 3 years ago, I used to be a waist 40, now i'm a waist 34, went from weighing 215lbs to now weighing 175lbs, although last Summer I weighed 162lbs, so my peak weight loss was 53 pounds, I just put on some weight recently because I lost some motivation for exercising at the gym near the end of last year and the first few months of this year, but last week I started working out with a personal trainer at the gym again, hope to get back to 162lbs, and maybe drop more pounds and get a more healthy body-fat percentage.


Wow that is great! You must also deel slot beter! Congratz!

Ya, and I feel what has caused me to lose my motivation for exercising and working out, is my non-existant dating life/sex life, and somewhat behind academically, and career-wise, finances-wise being my age, and I know I'm NOT entitled or owed anything from women, but a research study I read a few months ago, it said that guys who get laid are more productive in their lives than guys who don't get laid. I'm not surprised that if I was getting laid at the moment, I would probably feel more motivated in other areas of my life.