lying to women on dating sites?

Page 1 of 4 [ 62 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

04 Sep 2014, 11:36 pm

It has been suggested I lie to women and on my proflie about my job. I guess it would involve making up a fake job and income?
I really feel bad about lying and being dishonest. yet There does seem to be some logic to this. won't they just be hurt a month later when they find out I lied?

how to lie is another concern. i man i'd have to pretend to be a work everyday, and what do I do when I do get a real job.
and what job do I fake. I suppos given my degree i should fake being a mechanic, but one could do snooping to find out I don't have one.


Goes against my morals and heart to lie, but no woman will even talk to me as they demand the decent job, car and own place s**t.



sacrip
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Oct 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 844

04 Sep 2014, 11:48 pm

If you're looking for a long term girlfriend, then lying only works if you think she'll forgive you for the lie once she finds out. Trouble is, a job is not a minor detail; it's a major consideration for a woman, and rightfully so. Whether they SHOULD care if you have a job or not is immaterial; they do. To be perfectly frank, getting a job should be a higher priority for you than getting a date.


_________________
Everything would be better if you were in charge.


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

05 Sep 2014, 1:11 am

sacrip wrote:
If you're looking for a long term girlfriend, then lying only works if you think she'll forgive you for the lie once she finds out. Trouble is, a job is not a minor detail; it's a major consideration for a woman, and rightfully so. Whether they SHOULD care if you have a job or not is immaterial; they do. To be perfectly frank, getting a job should be a higher priority for you than getting a date.


yeah what I get from this is I should just die. it will be 40-50 years before I have a job and am debt free.

I see no reason one can't be looking for work and date. I have a job its just not what they consider a real job that being doctor, exuctive etc.

the suggestion is that they'd date me and see I'm a fun, kind, and great guy. then they'd be ok with the fact that I am trying to find a better job. where as a woman who doesn't know me won't even consider me without the title.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

05 Sep 2014, 2:16 am

sacrip wrote:
If you're looking for a long term girlfriend, then lying only works if you think she'll forgive you for the lie once she finds out. Trouble is, a job is not a minor detail; it's a major consideration for a woman, and rightfully so. Whether they SHOULD care if you have a job or not is immaterial; they do. To be perfectly frank, getting a job should be a higher priority for you than getting a date.


Yeah, I've only given a thought for dating after finding a good job again, and only then found out I've lost the desire (not sexually) for dating, but this is an another story.



Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

05 Sep 2014, 2:35 am

I doubt your specific job/vehicle is the majority of the problem as long as you have one in the first place, especially since you're only 26. Probably more like your photos or something.



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

05 Sep 2014, 3:04 am

I wouldn't care that you don't have a job, but I would care that you lied to me about having a job. Or if you lied to me about anything like that. Dealbreaker. Goodbye. (Just my opinion.)



886
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,663
Location: SLC, Utah

05 Sep 2014, 4:02 am

Lying to women on online dating is only good if you don't plan on anything long term..


_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.


trollcatman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,919

05 Sep 2014, 4:36 am

You could so some semi-lying. Make a picture of yourself standing next to a really expensive car. If she says "nice car" you can say "Yeah, it's a nice car. Too bad it isn't mine".
But no, I think lying is a bad idea. Once she finds out you lied about something major she probably won't trust you anymore.



Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

05 Sep 2014, 5:54 am

I think that the best thing that you could do right now is to give up online dating for a time, and see a therapist (free ones do exist through charity organizations). Based on your posts, I think that online dating has given you a skewed and very unhealthy view of both yourself and the world. I think that your depression and poor self-image are major issues that you need to work on asap if you want to be happy in life (and if you are able to conquer both of those issues, I think that everything else will be much easier for you as a result).

More direct to the question: No, I don't think that lying is good in that context, particularly when they will find out fairly soon after meeting you. It is best to be honest, but how you phrase things can make a big difference.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

05 Sep 2014, 6:05 am

Most profiles have lies, for me:

"Embellishing the true" = lie. Period.

It has been suggested here to the unemployed males to reword the unemployment part like "I have been unemployed for a year and seeking for a job" to something like "I've been leading an active life for a year by helping my parents around, and pursuing my interests while seeking to achieve my life goals". While in reality the poor guy is desperately seeking for an income source day and night to avoid homelessness before the end of the year.

I mean who are you f*****g kidding! :lol:



Kurgan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,132
Location: Scandinavia

05 Sep 2014, 7:27 am

sly279 wrote:
It has been suggested I lie to women and on my proflie about my job. I guess it would involve making up a fake job and income?
I really feel bad about lying and being dishonest. yet There does seem to be some logic to this. won't they just be hurt a month later when they find out I lied?

how to lie is another concern. i man i'd have to pretend to be a work everyday, and what do I do when I do get a real job.
and what job do I fake. I suppos given my degree i should fake being a mechanic, but one could do snooping to find out I don't have one.


Goes against my morals and heart to lie, but no woman will even talk to me as they demand the decent job, car and own place s**t.


Are you looking for a serious relationship or a casual fling? If you're looking for the latter, don't feel bad for lying; if someone wants you because of your money, how many nightclub owners you know, or anything like that, they deserve it.

In any case, a lot of women lie on dating sites. You'll frequently see pictures with MySpace angles and Photoshop filters to cover up signifant flaws.


_________________
“He who controls the spice controls the universe.”


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

05 Sep 2014, 7:34 am

It's foolish to lie on dating sites---period.

What's the use? You'll look like a real jerk of you do.

If you are, indeed, helping to take care of your parents while you're unemployed, I would put that in. It's the truth.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 05 Sep 2014, 8:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

elkclan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 698

05 Sep 2014, 8:51 am

Don't lie on a dating profile. Seriously.



Marcia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,148

05 Sep 2014, 9:32 am

Am I the only person here who lives in a part of the world where people without jobs, cars, property, wealth or good looks are able to form functional relationships?



Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

05 Sep 2014, 9:40 am

^^^
That's probably the case in a lot of places if you're only referring to women, but the OP ain't one(I think).



qFox
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 207

05 Sep 2014, 9:51 am

Telling a lies by boasting only works if you are looking for a casual encounter, if you want something more serious it is only going to cause trouble down the road for both you and your partner.