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How frequently do you have a meltdown or shutdown?
Once a day or more 14%  14%  [ 8 ]
Once a week 23%  23%  [ 13 ]
Once a month 34%  34%  [ 19 ]
Once a year or less 29%  29%  [ 16 ]
Total votes : 56

gamerdad
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05 Sep 2014, 12:24 pm

Wondering how frequently most people have meltdowns or shutdowns. If you have them relatively frequently, or infrequently, do you think that's impacted more by what your triggers are or by how effective your coping mechanisms are?

For me, I seem to go into shutdown around once/month at this point in my life. It's usually triggered by some sort of intense or emotional discussion or argument, and I usually try to cope by avoiding topics that will lead to intense discussions or argument. I'm at a point though where it's becoming clear that avoidance has its own costs to it, and I'm trying to reevaluate how I cope with those situations and even if the costs of avoidance might sometimes outweigh the risks of going into shutdown.

Edit: I just realized that I phrased the options poorly. If you fall somewhere in between them, just round to the one that feels closest.



Last edited by gamerdad on 05 Sep 2014, 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Asperger96
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05 Sep 2014, 12:36 pm

I've never really had a shutdown...

But I'm close to a devestating meltdown... and when I do I know my grandmother will try to have me commited. :hmph:



DarkAscent
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05 Sep 2014, 12:50 pm

I have a meltdown at least once a week but it's better than it was when I was in secondary school. I would meltdown or shut down almost every day but I've not had a meltdown since I've started boarding school.



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05 Sep 2014, 1:10 pm

I tend to be fine during the summer, but during the school year I am prone to meltdowns/shutdowns. During the last half of junior year of highschool, I had the most problems. Senior year was ok.
College has been terrible, this is the second week and I'm already having massive problems. I have had a meltdown once already this semester, which is somewhat rare for me. I am nearly always in shutdown mode during school. I can't cope with school and I've also already dropped a class because it is too much for me... my parents are ashamed and disappointed at me over that.



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05 Sep 2014, 1:14 pm

Meltdowns for me...Crying, biting self, might attempt to hit or bite others.

Without medication, meltdowns would be at least once a week, and more injury.


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LokiofSassgard
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05 Sep 2014, 1:46 pm

I'm not sure. I rarely have meltdowns unless something upsets me. For example, when we were getting our hotel last weekend for my anime convention... we didn't have the funds to pay for it. Well, this causes a massive meltdown of sorts. I know it sounds more like not getting what I want yada yada, but it's much more than that though.

Anyway, most cases, my meltdowns do get me somewhere. People are more understanding towards my situation and do their best to make sure things go as I planned. That's usually the trigger for me right there. I plan out everything in my mind automatically. I get hyped up about said plans to the point where I'm predicting what SHOULD be happening. However, when those said plans go down the drain, that can often trigger a huge meltdown or outburst.

My meltdowns are usually just excessive sobbing and stuff like that. I don't hit anyone or anything, but it gets so bad that I can hardly breathe because I'm crying so hard. I haven't found any real coping mechanisms or anything that help me. Usually after having a meltdown or during times when I'm about to have one, I snuggle one of the plushies I bring with me and it comforts me.



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05 Sep 2014, 1:50 pm

I didn't choose an answer because it depends on the severity.

I might have a very minor meltdown or shutdown once every week or two. If I am overwhelmed by chores, I might have a very mild (1-2 minute) freak-out about the mess. If I am stressed by a very busy day or a heated discussion, I need to escape by myself for a couple of hours.

If I am very stressed, I might need to be alone (or have peace and quiet - it is like having an emotional migraine) for a whole day. This *might* happen every 2-3 months or less often.

Bad meltdowns that go beyond this are pretty rare. I had a really bad one in May that lasted 3 days and that was the first bad one I'd had in years.

My family knows the first kind are just a blow-over and are quickly resolved. In the 2nd kind, I just need to be alone/quiet. It doesn't mean I can't be interrupted, just that I need "special care", like subdued voices, etc. Kind of like caring for a person who is in bed sick. One wouldn't act boisterously around them.

In the last kind, I am completely not myself and need to be alone. I might say something (not likely do anything - my meltdowns are verbal, not physical) I regret. Usually, I cry and cannot be consoled or reasoned with.



gamerdad
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05 Sep 2014, 2:11 pm

LokiofSassgard wrote:
I plan out everything in my mind automatically. I get hyped up about said plans to the point where I'm predicting what SHOULD be happening. However, when those said plans go down the drain, that can often trigger a huge meltdown or outburst.

That's actually pretty familiar to me. I've noticed that a common theme in a lot of arguments I have is when some sort of expectation is upset. I don't usually think of these arguments as meltdowns, but the argument itself can often lead to a shutdown.

That raises another question of mine. For those of you who have meltdowns that aren't brought on by sensory issues, how do you distinguish between them and something like an anxiety/panic attack or other highly emotional reaction?



gamerdad
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05 Sep 2014, 2:19 pm

nerdygirl wrote:
If I am stressed by a very busy day or a heated discussion, I need to escape by myself for a couple of hours.

Do you usually think of the escape as a form of shutdown? I do this quite often, but I tend to just think of it as a way of regulating myself. I think the way I distinguish is if someone interrupted an "escape", I would be irritated, but I could pull it together if necessary. Whereas I can't make myself pull out of a full on shutdown. The only way out of it is to wait for it to pass.



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05 Sep 2014, 2:31 pm

gamerdad wrote:
nerdygirl wrote:
If I am stressed by a very busy day or a heated discussion, I need to escape by myself for a couple of hours.

Do you usually think of the escape as a form of shutdown? I do this quite often, but I tend to just think of it as a way of regulating myself. I think the way I distinguish is if someone interrupted an "escape", I would be irritated, but I could pull it together if necessary. Whereas I can't make myself pull out of a full on shutdown. The only way out of it is to wait for it to pass.


If I need "downtime" to recharge, I could be in a public space, like the living room, reading or doing something relaxing. If someone wanted to come in and chat, I'd be good.

If I was needing to "escape", I would basically hide in a private spot (my bedroom or office) and if someone came in, I'd say, "I really need to be alone right now." I wouldn't necessarily be angry about interruptions, but I would make it clear that I can't handle it at the moment. In these moments, it is like my brain is way too full.



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05 Sep 2014, 2:34 pm

I picked once a month--but it's really a few times a year.

When I feel that I need to be alone, I operate similar to Nerdygirl.



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05 Sep 2014, 2:40 pm

My emotional meltdowns often stem from some kind of severe disappointment, and sort of the embarrassment from being disappointed about it. I feel like I shouldn't be disappointed about this, but I *am* and it really, really rots. I can't do anything about it and I can't explain to anyone why it hurts so bad because they won't understand. It is like being kicked in the gut. It is like a type of grief.

Sometimes, that disappointment is in a situation that didn't go the way I was anticipating (something I was *really* excited about or looking foward to - hyped up about), or disappointment that a person wasn't able to give me what I wanted (usually time or emotion, not stuff), or disappointment in myself that I couldn't do why I thought I could/should.



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05 Sep 2014, 2:49 pm

For me, shutdowns are like a blackout when the electricity lines get too much use at once.

Meltdowns are like implosions. That bubble of hope and excitement that was making me feel buoyant was suddenly burst and I emotionally collapse. It has to be a big deal *to me* for this to happen. But often the thing that causes me to meltdown would not be a big deal to someone else.

I suppose this is one reason I do not like surprises, good or bad. A surprise could easily overload the system or burst the bubble.



gamerdad
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05 Sep 2014, 3:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I picked once a month--but it's really a few times a year.

When I feel that I need to be alone, I operate similar to Nerdygirl.

Yeah, I realized after I made the poll that the choices aren't really worded well.



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05 Sep 2014, 3:44 pm

At this particular time in my life and my specific circumstances, unfortunately I'm under a horrific level of stress and so I'm having minor meltdowns on a daily basis and major ones fairly regularly. The s**t is hitting the fan a lot in my life as it is right now, I have no escape routes, and I'm under severe strain. So every day I have at various times a panic attack, a minor meltdown, experiencing a lot of shutdown where I'm sunk into numbness from the stress.