when people stop talking to you

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It has been happening to me throughout my life and it still hurts. By now I'm so used to it that I pretty much expect it to happen eventually. Because I usually don't even have the chance to make friends as no one wants to be around me, I'm spared the agony of a "friend" stopping talking to me. It is usually my colleagues etc that stop talking to me. I notice that when someone's attitude to me changes, many other people do the same. So multiple people stop talking to me at the same time. One thing I have learned is that for some people, "being weird" is a good enough reason to give someone a silent treatment. And that escalates to a ridiculous level. So I know that in most cases it's not my fault. Although it somehow still hurts, I know logically I shouldn't worry about such people.

This is something that mostly happens when I decline to participate in the social media fad. Otherwise, I assume we just ran out of things to talk about or they got too busy...

I think some people don't feel like they're close enough to start a new conversation if one is fading, so they let it go instead. To people who meet new people all the time, I doubt it seems like a big deal. For people who don't meet many new people, it's a much bigger loss.

It's just nice to see I am not the only one.

The talking/not-talking card is one of the major forms of psychological and emotional manipulation that NTs use.

Most often it is used to validate one's own view of reality, - the identity of an NT.
When perceptions of reality differ significantly, like for us, then we do not validate the NT's identity, and therefore the not-talking thing happens at a much higher rate.

I've had so many NTs do this to me that I could not possibly keep up with them all, and that includes family.
As far as I can recollect I have never done this for that reason.
Whenever I do not talk it is simply for the reason that I didn't talk, and applies the same for everyone to include friends. It has nothing to do with their having a different view of reality.

From my own perspective I am very tolerant in this way.

Of course the NTs probably have a similar perspective of their own, where they think their decision is valid, having nothing to do with identity, and that I'm just rude to them and deserved to not be talked to.

It's an infinite learning curve, Sharkie, and we won't stop talking to you

Aww. If I was capable of maintaining a conversation over any length of time I would speak to you.

when others are the first to contact me through text message or in person, they just want a favor done. the talk about it and stop when they're satisfied. lots of times anyway. there's the occasional pleasant surprise.

i don't really care if the conversation ends if it has had depth/substance or if it was long. i've been guilty of suddenly ceasing contact with someone, with those people it was never really sweet with them to begin with. no point.

This is sympathy; not empathy. If what the OP mentioned never happened to you, yet you could relate to his emotion, that would be empathy. Relating to someones emotions because you have experienced a similar event is sympathy. I have like almost zero empathy unfortunately. Fortunately, I have had LOTS of sh***y things happen so I can sympathize with a lot of things.

It's so bad when it happens.
Worst of all is not knowing if i did something wrong, if i was being too annoying, if i said something inappropriate or if the person just doesn't have something to say to me at that time.

The longest I can efficiently maintain a meaningful relationship with another person for is usually in the realm of one to two years. Albeit if I let them know me a bit better than make that one to two months, unfortunately.

It turns out the person is still talking to me but was under the impression I was the one not talking to them.

And your right it is an infinite learning curve.

I am all too familiar with that feeling also.

Is this your choice or theirs?

The choice to cease communication with me is their own. After some time I'm the only one initiating contact; it's not long before they begin insulting me, or simply ignore me altogether. It's alright though as I've become quite content within my solitude.

I have family that do not talk to me. As hard as I try not to, I seem to be able to consistently tick off some people.

My therapist had to hammer into my head that I'm not responsible for the thoughts and actions of others. She told me I need to accept things and move on.

It messes me up to the point where I cannot function. Anxiety can do that to you.