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Namaskar
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09 Sep 2014, 10:32 am

I have some autistic traits and at the same time some Schizotypal personality disorder traits.
But I fail to fully belong to either of them.

About autism: I can fully understand facial expressions, I do not have any special ritual and my social problems started when I was 12 (rather than in childhood).
About Schizotypal personality disorder traits, I miss all the traits in the schizophrenic spectrum (delusions and hallucinations).

But I do am a socially awkward person, with no social life and no friend. I suffer from mild social anxiety (very sever when I was younger), I am kind of suspicious/ paranoid especially when I am stressed out, I got ADHD, I have problems to understand hints and jokes (though not always), most people think I am odd and eccentric, I have a very rich inner world of thinking ( I like philosophy) and imagination (I like fantastic fiction). I am highly sensitive to sound, touch and light. I have trouble to understand mine and other's emotions.

My MBTI personality type is INTP.

I find myself in no man's land, too awkward to have a "normal" life and at the same time I do not fit properly any "psychiatric label", a fact which make me think about the lack of accuracy and maturity of this discipline.



kaedatiger
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09 Sep 2014, 12:37 pm

It is an incomplete discipline, but there are hundreds of disorders that can easily get confused with each other. I have symptoms in common with anxiety and OCD but neither of those disorders, as those symptoms are just features of my autism and depression.



AspE
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09 Sep 2014, 12:42 pm

You sound just like a friend of mine.



Namaskar
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09 Sep 2014, 12:50 pm

AspE wrote:
You sound just like a friend of mine.


well at least your friend has at least one friend.



AspE
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09 Sep 2014, 2:34 pm

It is especially tough when by all outward appearances, you are of normal intelligence and not crazy. And yet you can't live a normal life. My friend ended up joining the army, and then going AWOL, and then being homeless. I think he's OK now, but we haven't talked in some time.



Oceanni
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20 Sep 2014, 7:26 pm

Take this from a fellow INTP: I think that maybe you should start making two mental columns: one of the things you see that are your problems, or that cause you distress, and the other one of things that other people (probably family) have picked up about you that they think is worrisome (maybe even try to see if other people's perceptions have tainted your view of yourself, making you think that you are worse than you're in reality). But mostly concentrate in what you perceive as your main problem. Because often than not the discipline (and other people) make problems out of personality traits that are totally valid (like being introverted, liking fiction, being overly quiet, or like to be on your own, or being asexual, agendered, etc).
For what I can tell you want to have friends? And I see that you deal with a great deal anxiety. Maybe tackling the obvious first is the best way to approach so much subjectivity ?that being the anxiety issue? Of course I'm no expert, but from experience I can tell you that dwelling too much on "what's wrong with me" without a concrete plan can lead to more anxiety. Asking yourself about how you can manage better your anxiety is better than to ask a wider question like "what/who on earth I am".

I too get paranoid and delusional when under stress (but I also tend to disassociate. It was a learned thing in my childhood, I think. That's when I started to run into fiction as well. Everything becomes linked if you think about it without trying to fit any criteria. It becomes something rational, rather than something abnormal that came out of nowhere) About the jokes and not understanding emotion, I can relate to that as well, but from my experience it gets better as the time passes. Maybe it doesn't come naturally now, or ever, but at least it is sufficient for now for me (most of the time that is). I believe that with time you'll get there, without pushing yourself too hard to please others.

Psychiatric labels are insufficient. They often don't grasp the full content of a being, and are highly inaccurate because of it. So try to not stress yourself over it, but if you do have the chance to go to a proper psychiatrist then go, by all means, to get some sort of closure.


_________________
"He may suffer misery, and be overwhelmed by disappointments; yet, when he has retired into himself, he will be like a celestial spirit that has a halo around him, within whose circle no grief or folly ventures.?
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein.