I do not feel guilty

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So earlier today I was in the quietest level of the library and I had gotten a message from an employer. I did not know where to go talk since I was on the 5th level. I had also gotten up to walk around with my voice down as low as it could be when another patron walking by decided to give me a lecture about my actions.

"No cell phones this is the quiet floor. You need to leave and go take your conversations inside the stairwell."

Even though I was trying to be careful she was very harsh and talked to me like a little kid which led me to give her the middle finger and turned on my heals to walk into the stair well to make the call. She also walked into the stairwell with an attitude and had a tantrum walking down the stairs. I do know that is ego was punctured when I gave her the bird because I heard her making self righteous noises.

The thing is I don't feel guilty for flipping her off. Has anyone else ever done something similar?

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 09 Sep 2014, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, boohoo for her.

Why didn't you leave the phone at home? You are very wrong to interrupt other library patrons in a quiet area. At least put the phone on vibrate and then go elsewhere to an acceptable area to answer it.

People making noise in a quiet area of a library is one of my serious pet peeves. I don't go there to listen to you jabber no matter how quietly you do so. Even a whisper is intolerable.

That's why one of my favorite places in college was the medical library. They would kick you out for making noise. Talking on the entire second level was forbidden.

She was not even studying Eric but on her way out the door. She was just being a smart mouth. As for phone the ringer was off. I had just noticed that I had a voice mail and I was in a hurry to call back in a whisper.
I normally know better than that but I slipped up this time

Even so, one bit of bad behaviour towards you doesn't warrant returning bad behaviour to her. What if the other patrons in the library missed what happened in the first instance. They look up and all they see is you giving the other patron the bird. They associate your bad behaviour with someone who is immature and bad mannered (which I'm sure you're not).

Sorry for the double post; I got an error message and thought the message hadn't posted.

Last edited by Aspinator on 09 Sep 2014, 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I would suggest responding to someone such as her with kindness. If you respond with negativity you are accepting her negative energy. Don't validate her nastiness; don't absorb it. You'll feel better as a result.

In most cases I don't do that kind of thing anymore. While I realize that it is not an excuse

1. I was having a rough day myself and I had been under some stress
2. That kind of person is a hot button to me.

As for the flipping off I used I have a really bad temper when I was younger and would pop off when I felt like it. Other than my hand gesture I did not say anything. I just stayed out of the way and let her act like a child.

The next time someone talks to me like that how can I assert myself without causing a bigger rift?

Why not just accept that you were in the wrong and leave it at that?

On one hand I was and that I will not make either of those mistakes again. On the other I have to realize that I am not always going to please everyone 24/7. Maybe that is what is happening.

Next time, you can shrug your shoulders. It's not as rude, but gets the point across.

What about looking at someone and politely and silently shaking my head? Would that work to?

Can't summon up any sympathy, sorry. The library is the place to STFU because people are damn well trying to concentrate. Take the call outside, perhaps in the stairwell as suggested.

Or maybe saying "I am sorry, I didn't mean to disturb people." That would be showing good manners.

Summer Twilight,

I agree with what many other posters here are saying, that taking the phone call in the library was not the right thing to do. You know that as well.

But, at the same time, I understand why you did and why you were upset with the woman who got on your case. You knowingly chose to break the rule at the moment, and felt you had good enough reason to. You made a clear-headed decision and went with it. This woman's comment was condescending because she fully knew that you had consciously made the decision to talk on the phone, yet talked to you as if you were a child who didn't know any better.

If it had happened to me, I would have preferred the woman sneer at me to communicate her dislike for my talking on the phone than insult my intelligence or maturity. In those situations, I also tend to communicate the same thing I am communicating by disregarding the rules: "Whatever. I don't care right now." Because if I *did* care, I wouldn't have broken the rules, now, would I?

In no way do I condone random rule-breaking or rude behavior. I'm just saying I understand your reaction.

This probably isn't very constructive of me, but I think it was perfectly okay for you to flip her off. I mean, yeah, you'd made a mistake but then she had to go off on you in the stairwell like that...all she had to do was say "Please don't do that in here; keep it in the stairwell" and everything would've been fine but instead she followed you in and bitched at you...flipping her off is nowhere near as bad as what she'd done, even when your first mistake is taken into account.