Hierarchy of Needs

Post Reply New Topic

My DD15 (recently diagnosed with ASD/Aspergers) has just been assigned an exercise based on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. She is angry and upset because she doesn't agree with it. I suggested she do the work as required (because she has to parrot what is being taught to get the marks), but supplement it with her own view of her Hierarchy of Needs. She says it's too much work. I encouraged her to make herself heard.

I am curious as to what other Aspies view as their Hierarchy of Needs and whether or not you would go the extra mile to explain your own views. Do you believe it would be worth the effort?

TIA for your input.

I would agree with the two lowest rungs in the hierarchy. Without food and shelter, we're no better than animals. As far as love and belonging, I am quite cynical of that position in the hierarchy, since I came from a upbringing where intimacy was rarely shown.

As far as esteem is concerned, I'd rather keep at an activity until I think it is done right. A plumber that used to be a newspaper customer of mine told me, if you want to succeed, keep at the job until it is done to your satisfaction. 9 times out of 10, once you are satisfied with the results of your work, the customer will be satisfied.

As for self-actualization, that is more of a slippery slope than I care to think about, especially when it comes to morality. What may have been moral 30 years ago, doesn't past muster nowadays. I remember a cartoon drawn by Don Martin in Mad Magazine many years ago where a pair of old geezers were talking about the youth of today. The one old geezer put it quite succinctly, "The new morality is the old immorality." Mr. Martin, you certainly hit on an eternal truth with that statement.

Many years ago, when I was an undergraduate, I took a survey course in political science. The professor who taught the course flat out stated the United States was considered to be a legalistic, moralistic society. That may have been true at one time, but it hasn't been since Watergate. The U.S. has been in a free fall ever since, and we're still suffering the after-effects. You don't believe me? Then go back and study what happened after Congress tried to impeach Andrew Johnson. The country really didn't recover from that incident until Teddy Roosevelt was elected President. What's the difference between then and now? I have yet to see a politician in the modern era that even has a spine, let alone any kind of leadership qualities. Those that had potential, like Colin Powell and the late Norman Schwartzkopf, for better or worse, declined to lead this country, since after being military leaders, decided that dealing with Congress was a lost cause. Washington,DC is a meat grinder, even in the best of times. We can blame the politicians, as well as the mass media for this mess. I hate to say it, but I have not voted in an election in years, since it is now next to impossible, for me, anyhow, to discern what is the actual truth, and what is bulls***.

Anyhow, that's my opinion, for what it's worth.

Here's a simplification of Maslow's Hierarchy: "You can't be a good person until you get laid."

Then I must not be a good person, as I never had any overt desire to get laid.

Yeah, you monster.

The alternative explanation is that the Hierarchy is flawed.

I don't agree with Maslow and I always answer tests and exams with what they want to hear, not what I believe.

I would just explain that the assignment is about Maslow's opinion, not hers, and that no one is requiring her to agree with it. So yeah, I think you handled it well.

Personally, I think the top levels of the hierarchy represent "wants" not "needs". In that case, it's no wonder that people can differ widely about them.

I agree with Yippy-Skippy.

I also understand why your daughter doesn't want to do extra work for this. It is not about making herself heard in any real sense. When you disagree with a high school teacher who just wants the points regurgitated back, it is like pounding sand.

As Yippy Skippy suggests she should just say that it is Maslow's opinion or she can use other weasel phrases like "Our textbook describes...." I did that all the time as a kid when expected to regurgitate things I did not agree with, and it satisfied my aspie need not to misrepresent my opinion fairly well.

Occasionally I would add my opinion, but that was carefully decided by me. At 15, I would not have done it if encouraged to by a parent to make "myself heard" if I did not want to put the extra work in or if I felt it would not be well-received. It is really not practice for self-advocacy, IMO, if she feels pushed into it.

I'm with Yippee on this also.

I agree the top end are wants but those wants are often so strong they do become needs. As always these models fit the bell curve concept so whilst it may be valid for 80% there are always outliers and in this case it won't just be people with ASD as people don't tend to fit models.

It's also a theory of course and not fact, so it's there to be shot down with a strong argument.

Eh on Maslow. I agree with him about physiological needs up to a point.

Suffice it to say that you can, and should, be a good person whether or not you are getting laid. It might be EASIER TO FOCUS on being good and decent and kind if you are getting plenty of good, consensual sex...

...but it is inaccurate and downright dangerous to say that you cannot and should not try to pursue the higher tiers without meeting that need.

The higher tiers-- belongingness and love, esteem, and self-actualization aren't needs at all. They are very nice things-- certainly we tend to be happier and healthier if we achieve them-- but you can live, and accept a life, in which you accept that they are simply out of reach for you. If you work hard enough, you can learn not to be resentful and miserable in said life. That's my goal right now-- to substitute "fitting in by suppression of self" for "belonging and being loved for who I am," and to dispense with the need for self-esteem and self-actualization and substitute "gaining the esteem of others and serving the goals of my husband, his mother, and the society in which I live" instead.

I don't expect to get any pleasure out of those things. A few of them are directly counter to my own morality and to the values with which I was raised. Oh well-- I was raised among an out-group, in a backward, archaic, and moribund society that has been marked for extinction.

Which brings us to what I'd tell your daughter about the assignment. "Answer the questions with the answers THEY want, because that is the way to get your grade. If you do not, you will fail the assignment. It does not matter whether they are right or wrong, because they are in charge."

Adding her opinion is optional. They probably don't want to hear it, and probably won't listen (in fact, doing the extra work will be the opposite of appreciated, because they will have to do extra work to read it).

She could, of course, discuss her opinion with YOU. Or friends, if she has any. Or blog about it. Or whatever. But when doing the assignment, the thing to do is give the answers that are wanted. Nothing different, and nothing more.

A couple of years ago my son had an assignment like that, ie about something he didn't agree with. AND that he thought could be answered perfectly in a single sentence, instead of the required multiple pages. After negotiating with the teacher failed, he did the following:

He wrote two papers.

The first being his one sentence.

The second being the full assignment.

And he turned in the first to the teacher. Waited for her to read it and react. Once he felt his point was made, he handed her the longer paper.

I have to admit, the teacher loves telling that story. She got what she asked for AND got challenged. She has huge respect for my son.

So, yes, I like the suggestion you've made. I also think that YippySkippy made a valid point: she is being asked to write about Maslow's opinion, and she can couch all her language accordingly, "according to Maslow." Learning how to play that phrasing game will be a huge help to her in life. As will learning when you can make a play to insert your own opinion, as well.

You are so right DW. I agree with this.

I, too, agree with Yippy. Your daughter is going to have to learn about all sorts of theories. She may or may not agree with them, but that is irrelevant when it comes to demonstrating that you understand what the theory says. And that is what the teacher is going to be looking for...whether or not she understands what the theory posits, not whether or not she agrees (unless, of course, questions are asked about one's opinions).

I think that the basics of Maslow's theory are true: unless your lower level needs are met, you will not even be interested in higher level needs. If your lower level needs are unmet, fulfilling them will be a primary motivator for your behavior. If they are met, then other things will motivate your behavior. Are the higher level needs Maslow identified universal? Perhaps not, but everyone has some kind of "higher level need" that would be irrelevant if they were starving or in a life threatening environment. Understanding that construct is useful in making sense of the behavior of others. For example, people who do not feel safe behave in ways that are sometimes incomprehensible to me. But then I remember that their behavior is influenced by their lack of safety. Having never been in an environment were my safety was chronically threatened in any real way, I cannot imagine how I might behave. So the fact that their behavior makes no sense, then makes sense. Of course it makes no sense.

Am I making sense? LOL!

Yes, you are.

I've never had any issues with the hierarchy of needs.

However, I did always add my thoughts. I would do what you suggest. Demonstrate that I knew the knowledge (often saying, "the book says" or whatever) and then adding what I thought as well.

I will say that I do tend to burnout...and am still working on my bachelors in my 30s... So...maybe a more balanced view would be better? Save the nitpicking for a few things she really cares about.