Reaction to my diagnosis. Everyone is autistic!

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skibum
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16 Sep 2014, 5:20 pm

Here is a great quote from Tony Atwood's book, The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome. It is on pages 50 and 51.

"CLOSURE OF THE DIAGNOSTIC ASSESSMENT
At the end of the diagnostic assessment, the clinician provides a summary and review of
those characteristics in the person?s developmental history, profile of abilities and
behaviour consistent with a diagnosis of Asperger?s syndrome, and concludes whether
the signs are sufficient for a diagnosis. I explain to the client and family the concept of a
100-piece diagnostic jigsaw puzzle. Some pieces of the puzzle (or characteristics of
Asperger?s syndrome) are essential, the corner and edge pieces. When more than 80
pieces are connected, the puzzle is solved and the diagnosis confirmed. None of the
characteristics are unique to Asperger?s syndrome, however, and a typical child or adult
may have perhaps 10 to 20 pieces or characteristics. The person referred for a diagnostic
assessment may have more pieces than occur in the typical population, but sometimes
not enough, or the key or corner pieces, to complete the puzzle or receive a diagnosis of
Asperger?s syndrome."


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Charloz
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16 Sep 2014, 5:38 pm

skibum wrote:
I can see and understand where you are coming from and I can see how your need to fit in has molded your thinking.


That need was created by relentless bullying I endured during elementary school. It was either conform and adapt, or die. And I know it may sound dramatic but that's literally how bad it got. For people who are so damn cruel to be "the norm" just seems like some sort of weird joke of mother nature at times.

skibum wrote:
But to say "everyone has something" is so different from "everyone is a little Autistic." Everyone has something is true.


Everyone sure has something. Whether it be autism or dyslexia or narcissism or whatever, they all have something. Thing is... not every person in the world goes to professionals and gets diagnosed. Only a small percentage do. The rest remains below the surface, with all their quirks and issues.

skibum wrote:
Every single person has challenges no matter who they are and no matter if they are on the Spectrum or not.


Very true. And a lot of people we assume are NT may actually be on the spectrum and not know it\choose not to disclose it. If you'd meet me in the street you would never guess I'm on the spectrum. And yet I am.

skibum wrote:
It does not matter if they have a disability or not. Everyone does have challenges, everyone does have something that they are dealing with and having to overcome.


A disability is a challenge, is it not? And a challenge can be disabling.

skibum wrote:
But to turn that into Everyone is a little Autistic and then to admonish Autistic people into acting normal, that is wrong. That is like saying everyone has a little Down Syndrome or everyone has a little Bipolar or everyone has a little Cerebral Palsy. These would be considered idiotic statements and would only hurt the people who really have those things.


It's all ultimately a matter of self-preservation to me. It's a mental issue. Telling myself everybody has their own issues, everybody is kind of special in their own way and may have as much trouble as I do at some of the same things, and never even show it... telling myself that makes me feel better about myself. Call it petty. Call it silly, or childish, or weird, or whatever. But I need to tell myself these things. The adapting to 'normality' also is a way of self-preservation. Ultimately, all people are actors. NT people may be better actors but a life filled with cruel backstabbing people can be a better acting school then Juilliard.



skibum
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16 Sep 2014, 6:27 pm

Charloz, I have absolutely no problem at all, really none whatsoever, with you telling yourself whatever you need to tell yourself to make it in life. I support you in that 100% and I mean that with all sincerity. The problem I have is when you tell other people that they need to stop doing the things they need to do or to do the things you need to do in order to get through life.

I know that you are not exaggerating about the bullying. Many people on this forum have been bullied and bullied very badly. I have been bullied. Fortunately I was not bullied very much at school because I learned to appear normal enough and I am very high functioning, but I was bullied in other places regularly. And I don't need to get into the details of that. It was a long time ago and I have come to peace with it and I don't want to publicly expose the people who hurt me. So I understand why you feel what you feel and why you believe what you believe and why it is important for you to do so. And if that is what works for you than you need to do it and I respect that for you.

But, by the same token, you need to show the same respect to others. It is not fair to them that you push on them that they should not stim in public or do the things that help them survive their traumas just because it looks embarrassing to you. If you don't want to associate with people who express their Autism differently or who are lower functioning than you are, that is your right and that is your choice and I respect whatever you wish for that for you. But you can't put that on other people. And you are absolutely 100% dead wrong if you think that masking signs of Autism and looking NT will be good for the rep of Autism. That is just not how it works. All that does it make it more traumatic and more difficult and more challenging for Autistic people. So do whatever you need to do to live your life successfully and we will support you in that but do not push these ideas that we have to try to appear normal on other people. That is not your right.


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olympiadis
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16 Sep 2014, 10:35 pm

If you observe that even some severely autistic people still wear clothing and shoes, then you might conclude that everyone is a little NT.
Though there is some truth to the statement, it is still irrelevant and need not be said.

There is also a truth in the statement that everyone perceives reality a little differently.
Still, 99.9% of people I've had contact with cannot describe their perception of reality in a way that matches mine to any significance,. Most can't even describe their perceptions in an analytical or literally meaningful way, probably because the task has never even come up for them before I ask. That in itself is a clear indication that there are much deeper fundamental differences.



skibum
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16 Sep 2014, 10:40 pm

olympiadis wrote:
If you observe that even some severely autistic people still wear clothing and shoes, then you might conclude that everyone is a little NT.
Though there is some truth to the statement, it is still irrelevant and need not be said.

There is also a truth in the statement that everyone perceives reality a little differently.
Still, 99.9% of people I've had contact with cannot describe their perception of reality in a way that matches mine to any significance,. Most can't even describe their perceptions in an analytical or literally meaningful way, probably because the task has never even come up for them before I ask. That in itself is a clear indication that there are much deeper fundamental differences.
Well said.

Love the clothing and shoes analogy. That is funny. :D


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16 Sep 2014, 11:41 pm

I hate it when people say that everyone has a little autism; I've never directly met anyone who has, but I know it's a relatively common comment for NTs to make. To the people who say that, I want so badly to be able to transfer all my symptoms to them and let them live the way I do for a week, and see how they do. By the end of it, they sure as heck wouldn't be saying everyone has it anymore. Most people have no idea how lucky they are not to have to deal with sensory problems and meltdowns and an inability to socialise and the feeling that everyone thinks you're crazy or overly obsessed because of your interests. I have this guy at work who likes to deliberately try to startle me because he knows it's so easy to do. If he could experience even a fraction of the sensory overload I go through on a daily basis, he wouldn't think it were so damn funny. No, we do not all have autism, end of story. Skibum's cold analogy is an excellent one. People with the sniffles need to stop accusing those of us flat on our backs half-dead with the flu of being lazy or not trying hard enough.


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Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
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Evil_Chuck
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16 Sep 2014, 11:55 pm

I think of this as "artificial identification." NTs generally mean well but they are so used to relating to each other, or at least making a token effort to do so, that they sometimes forget there are certain people they really don't understand.

And I agree with skibum that no good can come of us suppressing all our symptoms to perpetuate that illusion. :wink: I'm the first to say that I hate when the mainstream media glamorizes and commercializes a condition (breast cancer being a great example), even if it's for a good cause, but at the same time other people need to know we are out there and we're not going away. Hiding is not the answer. I've been doing it my whole life and it hasn't really helped; I'm just scared to try anything else.


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