Is my colleague talking down to me?

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jerry00
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24 Sep 2014, 1:54 am

Every time I speak to him, he'll snap "I beg your pardon!?" and the tone is quite simply rude, the first couple of times it happened I just said never-mind, but I realised he does it pretty much every time, so I started repeating myself twice as loud, maybe he just can't hear me? Then he'll give me some smart allecy answer usually. I still don't like the tone he takes with me. We do the same job, if anything I do a more technical role. I don't expect anyone to take a tone with me like they're talking down to me. I don't like it. Am I just being too sensitive? He doesn't seem to say that to anyone else just me. It's not the words so much as the delivery, as soon as he hears a peep out of me, he'll bellow that line at me like I'm a naughty child.

If he just said "pardon?" or "sorry?" that would be normal. But it's the rigid overly formal delivery that makes me think he's just being dismissive/talking down. We work in a relaxed environment not a gulag.

Because he does sometimes ask me things, I'm so tempted to snap that back at him so he can get a taste of it, but that's probably a bad idea....



CeBang
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24 Sep 2014, 3:34 am

Is he aware that you are on the Spectrum?

I've had NT colleagues/teachers that have spoken to me in an overly formalistic tone based on some preconceived notion that people with Aspergers are 'rigid thinkers'. Unless he starts saying things to you that are downright crass, I wouldn't take it personally.



progaspie
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24 Sep 2014, 4:35 am

CeBang wrote:
Is he aware that you are on the Spectrum?

I've had NT colleagues/teachers that have spoken to me in an overly formalistic tone based on some preconceived notion that people with Aspergers are 'rigid thinkers'. Unless he starts saying things to you that are downright crass, I wouldn't take it personally.

Doesn't matter whether he thinks he's on the spectrum or not. You don't talk down to individuals. Work colleagues need to be treated with respect and this guy doesn't get it. I would confront him and tell him that his tone and manner is disrespectful towards him and needs to change his manner. If he doesn't get the message I would report him to his manager.



CeBang
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24 Sep 2014, 5:11 pm

progaspie wrote:
CeBang wrote:
Is he aware that you are on the Spectrum?

I've had NT colleagues/teachers that have spoken to me in an overly formalistic tone based on some preconceived notion that people with Aspergers are 'rigid thinkers'. Unless he starts saying things to you that are downright crass, I wouldn't take it personally.

Doesn't matter whether he thinks he's on the spectrum or not. You don't talk down to individuals. Work colleagues need to be treated with respect and this guy doesn't get it. I would confront him and tell him that his tone and manner is disrespectful towards him and needs to change his manner. If he doesn't get the message I would report him to his manager.


You didn't read the latter part of my post, did you? His work colleague may not be deliberately talking down to him with malice intent.