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Anna_K
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24 Sep 2014, 8:08 pm

This happens to me a lot. It mostly happens when my friends don't share any common interests or beliefs anymore, or they never contact me, or want to do anything with me, or if I feel ignored by them. This is often why I shift from one group to another, mostly at school. Does anyone else feel this way or behave similarly?


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kraftiekortie
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24 Sep 2014, 8:39 pm

I believe what you experience is fairly common amongst ALL people. You're searching for common ground in many areas, not just one. This is not autism, by any means.

You do seem to have some relatively close friends whom you don't get bored with so easily. They might make you angry temporarily--but something always seem to draw you back to them. What is it that makes you angry at them, anyway?



Outrider15
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25 Sep 2014, 6:07 am

If people are not interested in you as much as you are in them.

Or if you cannot find as much common ground with your friend, then it is natural to want to find someone else.

Sometimes even if two people like each other and are nice to each other they just cannot be friends. This is natural.

It's not about being too 'different' either. I never got why people say stuff like 'we're too different from each other, a friendship will not work'.

It's not about being too different, what's important is how well you get along with this person and how things go. Sometimes the most different of people can be friends, the most similar of people might not be able to stand each other.



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26 Sep 2014, 12:14 am

i have the opposite problem.


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Booyakasha
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26 Sep 2014, 4:29 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
i have the opposite problem.


Yeah, me too. Lately I can't get enough of people! Not quite sure what bug I caught or what potion I drunk :scratch:



andyfzr
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26 Sep 2014, 5:30 pm

I get bored with people a lot and try to avoid talking to people unless it interesting. I just cant be bothered with people who talk for the sake of talking and I remember telling one guy he was boring me to death once in a pub cos he used to spout the same stuff every time I saw him. I know a few people like that and try to avoid talking to them.



Kiprobalhato
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28 Sep 2014, 1:15 am

Booyakasha wrote:
Kiprobalhato wrote:
i have the opposite problem.


Yeah, me too. Lately I can't get enough of people! Not quite sure what bug I caught or what potion I drunk :scratch:

could it have been something in your food? a wizard that hypnotized you? :P


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Booyakasha
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28 Sep 2014, 5:31 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
Booyakasha wrote:
Kiprobalhato wrote:
i have the opposite problem.


Yeah, me too. Lately I can't get enough of people! Not quite sure what bug I caught or what potion I drunk :scratch:

could it have been something in your food? a wizard that hypnotized you? :P


:lol: now that you mention, I did speak to a witch last week since I wanted to solve my acute pruritus issues, but the potion she gave to me might have had some adverse affects! Beware the witches and their potions! :shameonyou: :P



Anna_K
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28 Sep 2014, 10:50 am

Outrider15 wrote:
If people are not interested in you as much as you are in them.

Or if you cannot find as much common ground with your friend, then it is natural to want to find someone else.

Sometimes even if two people like each other and are nice to each other they just cannot be friends. This is natural.

It's not about being too 'different' either. I never got why people say stuff like 'we're too different from each other, a friendship will not work'.

It's not about being too different, what's important is how well you get along with this person and how things go. Sometimes the most different of people can be friends, the most similar of people might not be able to stand each other.


Yeah, it might be due to the fact that sometimes its not meant to be. That happened with this one friend of mine, we were acquaintances and known each other since Grade 5, when I started Grade 9 we started hanging out more, but I discovered that I just couldn't be best friends with her, cuz certain qualities of hers I couldn't stand, even though we got along fine when we weren't as close.


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autismthinker21
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28 Sep 2014, 1:51 pm

friends are boring, because they make themselves like that. it's stupid. i go through that daily now. it sucks.


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Kiprobalhato
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29 Sep 2014, 2:05 am

Anna_K wrote:
Outrider15 wrote:
If people are not interested in you as much as you are in them.

Or if you cannot find as much common ground with your friend, then it is natural to want to find someone else.

Sometimes even if two people like each other and are nice to each other they just cannot be friends. This is natural.

It's not about being too 'different' either. I never got why people say stuff like 'we're too different from each other, a friendship will not work'.

It's not about being too different, what's important is how well you get along with this person and how things go. Sometimes the most different of people can be friends, the most similar of people might not be able to stand each other.


Yeah, it might be due to the fact that sometimes its not meant to be. That happened with this one friend of mine, we were acquaintances and known each other since Grade 5, when I started Grade 9 we started hanging out more, but I discovered that I just couldn't be best friends with her, cuz certain qualities of hers I couldn't stand, even though we got along fine when we weren't as close.

i have felt a bit ostracized by one person simply because all of that persons friends shared lots if interests with that person, and i did not. i'm a bit shamed to admit that i forced myself to dive/check out one of that persons interests for the sole purpose of trying to get along better with that person and have more to talk about.

(and to my surprise, i legitimately enjoyed it.)

it was strange because (let's call that person "v") v and i had never had problems socializing before, and after i felt that v started to get bored of me, i forced myself to delve into the show v liked to try and save the relationship. and it did work, for a time.

have you been in a similar situation, where you have to kind of force yourself to share an interest just to get closer to that person?
i have done so, and i am glad it is all over.

i also know about shifting from one group/person to the other, anna, i think i've told you about this. if you put tons of effort into a relationship, and the other person does not reciprocate, in the short term, it can either become an obsession, or you can get really bored and give up after a while. in the long term, the former can lead into the latter, this is very emotionally and spiritually draining in my experience.

but if the other person does not care about you as much as you do to them it is almost never completely your fault, and there is no sense in trying and trying when there are so many other people out there. sure, trying to socialize when feeling burnt out after ditching and getting bored of people may seem like you're living a broken record sometimes, but people are full of surprises, they can either bore you and waste your time, or....not!!

i agree with Outrider in that differences and similarities do not matter as much as simply getting along with the person does, and that's why i believe that "opposites attract" does have a small bit of truth to it after all.

i hope this helps a bit. it's almost midnight here and tomorrow is a school day, lol :coffee:


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Booyakasha
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30 Sep 2014, 5:52 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
i have felt a bit ostracized by one person simply because all of that persons friends shared lots if interests with that person, and i did not. i'm a bit shamed to admit that i forced myself to dive/check out one of that persons interests for the sole purpose of trying to get along better with that person and have more to talk about.


I did the same thing! Started watching hockey games, documentaries on politics, all the things I detest the most, and unfortunately it didn't help a bit. It just made me look like a fool. Luckily, he's gone with the wind now 8)



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01 Oct 2014, 12:10 am

^you don't have to live charades anymore, that is always liberating. :thumright:


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marshall
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07 Oct 2014, 4:46 pm

I notice a lot of people just aren't mentally stimulating. When there's this huge enthusiasm gap in terms of what excites us it just feels empty. I can't listen to someone rattle on a about sports without getting depressed. I don't need someone identical to me, but I need someone who thinks in a way that's somewhat like me and has some shared interest. Otherwise there's really no chance as there's no passion. It feels flat and making conversation is an empty chore.



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07 Oct 2014, 4:58 pm

I'm often bored in general but I've always gotten bored of people fast even when we have common interests & things. I'm happy to talk to some regularly but I get bored after an extended time without a break from em.


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