Mom punishing me for stimming?

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AS - Oh, well I hadn't thought about it like that... I guess try to sit down and talk to your mother about it if all else fails.

Sounds like a bunch of crap to me...if you are 18 or older she certainly has no right to take your property either. Also why the f*** does it matter if you stim, unless its something harmful?

Her intentions might be good, but her methodology sucks (and, if you want my opinion, her threshold for embarrassment is way too low).

In my personal opinion, stims that are quiet, non-violent, and non-destructive should be tolerated in public (and by the general public-- I mean, come ON, normal people do plenty of things that are irritating to us and we're supposed to suck it up and cope; guess what guys, that's a two-way street).

In real life, though, right now it doesn't work that way, and stimming in public (and "in public" is pretty much anywhere that isn't "alone in your room") can get you hurt.

So, yes, you do need to find "normal-looking," unobtrusive stims just to be able to get by in the world. Sad but true.

Your mom's behavior is still messed-up and bitchy, though. Please try not to take her childish, selfish attitude to heart.

I have never been punished for stimming or humiliated. Sadly it's not uncommon for people to think shaming and humiliation will get someone to change. What my mom would do is if I was acting weird was try and calm me down like rubbing me or giving me something to do to relax me.

I asked my dad about this, and he said in my case punishing me for stimming would be considered abuse. He feels that way about anyone else too.

I don't think I could get through half the conversations I have without stimming. How did you go about changing your obtrusive ones Buyer? I don't have any that I think I need to change, I just don't understand how you just...switch them. When I did it as a little kid it was subconscious.

I feel that your mum is being abusive by punishing you the way that she is.

Unfortunately most people don't respect or understand autism, even those close to us. I stim all the time, and to me, it's perfectly normal. I can't not stim, I'm not even aware I'm doing it until someone points it out. Trying to stop it will cause me to focus on only myself not stimming and not the world around me, and I'll just go into meltdown.

If you want to stim, stim until you break your fingers, mom has no right to intervene.

I often need to stim to help reduce stress or concentrate or other reasons. It can be helpful as long as it is not harmful to anyone.

There should be no reason to not stim while at home or alone where no one can see you. Your parents shouldn't be hard on you when you don't need to look 'professional' for the public. Demanding you not to stim and punishing you any time you do it will likely increase your frustration and stress level and maybe even cause you to need to stim more.

Sometimes in public or at work or school people might get confused or irritated by seeing someone stimming. The movement of stimming often catch people's attention, and they usually don't understand what you are doing, and they might think you are nuts or something else your are not.

There are some stims that are stealthy (not as noticeable), and they might a type of stim that might be done in public and not be attention-getting. Some more stealthy or 'normal activity'-seeming stims that I do are chewing gum, pacing, leg shaking, hand playing with a rock or something in a pocket but there are probably others that might work.

Also suppressing stims may take time to learn how to do. I never was able to immediately stop doing my more intense stims that I did when at a high stress level. It took time and will power to develop the skill, and it was better if I found a more subtle alternate stim than to not stim at all.