Have people said you look angry (when you're not)?

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Jayo
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25 Sep 2014, 7:48 pm

This must be a pretty common thing for people with Aspergers and other autistic conditions...and it sure as heck frustrated me for a while (making it somewhat of an ironic comment, in a way! :P ) It's rare that I get it now b/c of the improvements I've made and awareness that I've consciously practiced...once in a blue moon from my wife I hear it...but usually when I do feel a bit of anger over something. However, when I was about 14-16 years old especially, I got this comment regularly and couldn't for the life of me comprehend why. :? This was just before the Aspergers diagnosis became published, and nearly a decade before my diagnosis. In hindsight, I think it had to do with a certain intense but glazed look with hunched shoulders, which made me look like a repressed serial killer or something ready to explode (as per the stereotypical ignorant perception of such a demeanour).

I suppose my tendency to respond by looking away (avoiding eye contact) and saying in a low monotone "no, I'm not angry" probably didn't help things. :o

Things got better though when I took drama lessons at 16 and watched several movies - I was on to something even before my diagnosis. I remember telling my stepmom when she called me on an "anger" look that I responded "well, in future I'll just tell people in advance that I sometimes appear angry when I'm not" - she accused me of being sarcastic, but I was dead-effin serious 8O



little_blue_jay
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25 Sep 2014, 8:00 pm

I've had people over the years tell me stuff like "Smile!" which only pizzes me off, even if I wasn't pizzed off to begin with, because I just want to say something snarky like "I'll smile when I have a good reason to!" :lol: I can't help it that if I'm thinking hard about something and I don't realize what my face looks like, that I look like I'm sour even if I'm really not! :? :lol: I feel like saying "Don't tell me what expression to have on my face, I don't go around telling you and everyone else what their faces should look like!" :x


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Raleigh
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25 Sep 2014, 8:06 pm

People either think I'm

a) upset when I'm not
b) calm when I am most definitely not

At other times people have observed that I look stoned 8O

When they think I look angry they're normally spot on


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LokiofSassgard
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25 Sep 2014, 8:07 pm

Sometimes. I've also noticed when I look at myself in the mirror, that I have this angry look on my face. D: I always thought it was just me though. I had no idea it was an autism thing. O_O


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neobluex
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25 Sep 2014, 8:14 pm

Yes.



WeeYank
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25 Sep 2014, 8:33 pm

little_blue_jay wrote:
I've had people over the years tell me stuff like "Smile!" which only pizzes me off, even if I wasn't pizzed off to begin with, because I just want to say something snarky like "I'll smile when I have a good reason to!" x


Me too! I cannot fake a smile; besides people who walk around smiling for no apparent reason look creepy.


I often squint which is frequently mistaken for a scowl of anger.


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chris500
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25 Sep 2014, 8:44 pm

people say I look sad



little_blue_jay
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25 Sep 2014, 8:50 pm

chris500 wrote:
people say I look sad


I've gotten that the odd time too!
I feel like saying "I"m not sad, I"m tired! I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, bonehead!"


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animaster
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25 Sep 2014, 9:06 pm

Yes, I am constantly told that I am upset or angry. Whenever I respond, my voice seems to confirm their suspicions, but I'm not upset. If I am upset, I don't realize it.

And a lot of people in my freshman class think I am perpetually stoned. They ask me for weed. When I say I don't have any, they either assume that I am lying or that I'm on something a bit harder.

People also think I am cool and collected when I'm not. This is early in the school year, but a lot of people think I'm a natural leader because of that when being forced to lead a group I am filled with a lot of anxiety.



ajpd1989
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25 Sep 2014, 9:13 pm

Not angry, but people often think I look sad/depressed.
Nope, it's just my 'neutral' expression which rarely changes.



FireyInspiration
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25 Sep 2014, 9:25 pm

Pretty often



Lumi
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25 Sep 2014, 9:35 pm

Several who did not understand my expressions.


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L_Holmes
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25 Sep 2014, 9:38 pm

I've had people say, "What's wrong?" when nothing is. And then when I am right on the verge of having a meltdown but barely holding together, I apparently look pretty calm, as no one ever says anything then. My brother also one time thought I was angry when I wasn't, I was apparently glaring at the TV while watching Finding Nemo which I was not aware of.

It doesn't happen too often, but it does occasionally.


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Narrator
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25 Sep 2014, 9:44 pm

Occasionally they say I look angry, when I'm not. More often they say I look sad. Perhaps it's because, when around people, I've often got this unconscious half smile thing going on and when it's not there they think I'm sad.


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olympiadis
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25 Sep 2014, 9:48 pm

Yes. Sometimes I just say "this is my happy face."

I have noticed that NTs generally behave as if they are performing for a camera, and so they are conditioned to emote in certain ways almost all of the time.



IAmTheCatalyst
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25 Sep 2014, 9:50 pm

All the time. Or that I look "entirely emotionless" when in fact, I'm very upset. I also tend to laugh at the wrong times when I'm nervous or sad and some people think I'm being rude to them on purpose. :?


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