Do people ever protest about you being around?

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Summer_Twilight
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26 Sep 2014, 10:52 am

Hi:
I was wondering if you have ever been around a certain situations where one or more people don't want you doing this or that and they get the hostess, leaders etc to weed you out?

It does not have to be right now but what have you seen?


For instance when I was 7 I met up with two girls in day care who I got along with. We decided to play family. One of the girls played the mother, I was the oldest daughter, and the third girl was played the baby. The girl who was playing the mother left for a little while. The other girl playing the baby and I were inside the jungle gym. She looked down and me and made it clear, "You can't play," repeatedly in a firm tone. I looked at her and did not respond. Instead I waited until the third party came back hoping she would take my side. When she returned she chose to side with the girl who said I could not play.

How many of you face situations like that?



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26 Sep 2014, 12:39 pm

In some ways. When I was a child, I had my neighbors on both sides of me were girls my same age. One of the girls would come over to my house often and ask me to play with her only to follow it with a "But if *other little girl* comes over and wants to play, then you will have to leave." It wasn't that I didn't get along with the other girl, in fact, I had been closer friends with her for much longer than the one who would do this.



Summer_Twilight
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26 Sep 2014, 1:16 pm

I know what you are talking about. I had that happen with some neighbor girls. They would invite me to do something and then all of a sudden another person would come along and they were playing them them, "Now." Then I would get shut out.

Another time my sister got invited over to a birthday party for another little girl who she played with in our church. I also associated with her older sister even though there was a four year age difference between us. Their mother just invited my sister and left me out but had talked about inviting me over on another time. My friend invited over another girl who she was even closer to. I tried to hang out with the two girls when my mom and I went to pick my sister up. My friend asked me to leave their bedroom.

I went to tell her father that my feelings were hurt. He went to confront her and asked her to apologize to me for my "Feelings getting hurt." My friend turned on her heals and walked out. She was like "Noooo."

Her mother also explained to me that the other girl did not want me around and had told my friend to kindly ask to leave.



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27 Sep 2014, 1:55 pm

yeah, when i was sat next to some guy in math class he whined, and moved himself.


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27 Sep 2014, 1:57 pm

Fairly frequently. Some people do make it clear I don't fit in.


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27 Sep 2014, 3:36 pm

Oren wrote:
Fairly frequently. Some people do make it clear I don't fit in.


For sure.

I was sitting by myself at some table, and looked around the room and noticed someone sitting...who looked up with a grimace and grunted at me.
I was also sitting in the upper auditorium in drama class a few years ago...3 girls in a group in front of me.
One of the girls in the group whined quietly "No, I don't like (my name), I don't wanna sit here" or something to that effect. One of the other girls consoled "no you have to deal with it" or something like that.
The year I went back to school after quitting a year, I sat down with some of the slightly older fellows at a lunch table...and a huge boo resonated through the table.

sucks bad man


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27 Sep 2014, 4:29 pm

Not so much now that I'm an adult. The people I work with are fairly unusual for the most part, so I don't stick out too much (I think).

When I was younger, I very frequently had other kids tell me I couldn't play with them.
Also, I always got picked last for any sort of team, and I sat by myself at lunch.
If I went to a table that was near other students, they'd all get up and move.

The one exception was in 8th grade when I had a group of three stoner, gothic, devil worshippers (not even exaggerating at all) who decided to sit at my table. It was really weird, but I didn't feel like asking them to leave. They didn't really talk to me though, except once when one of them asked me if I wanted any drugs.



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28 Sep 2014, 1:23 am

muslimmetalhead wrote:
I was also sitting in the upper auditorium in drama class a few years ago...3 girls in a group in front of me.
One of the girls in the group whined quietly "No, I don't like (my name), I don't wanna sit here" or something to that effect. One of the other girls consoled "no you have to deal with it" or something like that.

yeah, in 8th grade some girl that wouldn't shut the f**k up was forced to move to the empty seat to my right, and she got all these snickers and she had a very visible look of discomfort on her face.

:hmph:


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Summer_Twilight
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28 Sep 2014, 5:53 am

I had another situation happen more recently and I am an adult in her 30's now. Basically I went to a convention at the very end of Aug. I ran into some non campaign RPG players. I got to taking with them as they were talking a small break. I ended up liking the sound and concepts of game and asked to watch. They said "Sure," even though I did not pay to play. So I went back to the gaming area with them and sat down. The game master also returned and did not look too happy that I was there. I told him that I wanted to know how the game was played. So he let me watch one round.

I went to the bathroom before things got rolling and the other players had gotten with the gm while I stepped out. They made it clear to him that they did not want me to watch. This was since they paid and I did not. None the less he let me watch one around and said nothing. I kept asking questions related to the game while they were playing which they did not like either. I found out later that my talking interrupted the flow of the game. Basically the round ended and two of the players left to attend another panel. The gm pulled me to the side and told me that the others players had a problem with me watching the game. So he asked me to leave by kicking me out of the room period. He was not supposed to do that since he was not renting that area. The convention was.

The situation reminds me of the scenario which had happened with those two girls when I was 7. Only more subtle. Even thouygh I am grown up it still hurt my feelings. I left in tears it was so bad.



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15 Oct 2014, 10:23 am

I got it constantly as a kid. Even at twenty five, I still get people openly complaining that they don't want me around. And if they aren't saying it, their body language and expressions definitely are. It's annoying and hurtful. At least now, I'm more verbal now about my feelings where as when I was a kid I had a hard time verbalizing them.



Summer_Twilight
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15 Oct 2014, 4:39 pm

Here is an odd one. I know someone else on the Autism spectrum who is 6 years younger than I am and he is plays me like a yo yo. He invites me to events and I go to hang out. He always seems to want to hang out no longer than 30 minutes to an hour. Then he leaves giving me some story that he has something to do at home. I don't understand him.

:roll:


Then I had worked at a warehouse for 8 years under a work program through the Dept of Labor. I would go on break and hang out in one of the offices. There were three people there who did not have Autism but were also registered under the DOL. I would walk into office and they would leave the room.

Others:

-I had a roommate who had no idea of my HFA and realized that something was off. She lied to me by saying that she was having a birthday party and I was not invited. She also told me to get a tv for my room since living with her was not the right fit.left

-I sat in opposite pews across from my aunt and uncle at a church one time during lent season. I was not on good terms with them. Still I wanted to let them know that I was a member there and make things work. They did not want me there. My aunt scowled at me at few times. Then when I got up after the service I started walking away. Then when I turned around I noticed that they all disappeared. I did not know where went.

-A few years ago there was a lady who I use communicate with until a few years ago. I ran into her on a local train ride into the city where we both live. We seemed to have a nice conversation until she brought up a belief system that I could not agree with. She got offended and told me to shut up in so many words. She also accused me of being racist and disrespectful to her culture. During the rest of the train ride things were awkwardly and hostilely quiet. I got off the train and called her the 'B' word.

I saw her 6 months later after not talking to her and I knew that I did not want to get to close. I was hoping to just say hi. So I did and she acted like I was dead to her. She whipped out her phone and took a picture of the inside of the car. I said hi one more time and she got up and moved with an attitude. The train moved over one stop and she stormed out of the car and went into the next one over.

When I got out I saw her pouting. I again called her an "Fing B" due to her silly childish ways.



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16 Oct 2014, 2:44 am

When I was a kid, yeah. Sometimes other kids didn't want to sit by me or be in the same group with me. Some of them might have felt real discomfort about my atypical behavior, but others were just self-entitled whiners. Well, not every kid can live on their street, have the same expensive toys, and share their perfect "normal" genes. I wish I had known that at the time, but my parents only stressed that I should fit in with the other kids, so I tried anyway and the repeated failure made me miserable.

These days, I don't care that much anymore. If someone doesn't want to be around me, fine. I've been stepped on enough times that the feeling is probably mutual.

Summer_Twilight wrote:
-I sat in opposite pews across from my aunt and uncle at a church one time during lent season. I was not on good terms with them. Still I wanted to let them know that I was a member there and make things work. They did not want me there. My aunt scowled at me at few times. Then when I got up after the service I started walking away. Then when I turned around I noticed that they all disappeared. I did not know where went.

That sucks. You deserve better from family, especially in a church that espouses love and acceptance of everyone on earth...


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16 Oct 2014, 8:24 pm

I can't remember any specific situations, but it happened a lot to me in elementary school, not so much now.


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17 Oct 2014, 7:54 pm

Some slackers I worked with did that because I sort of put more share of the work on them instead of just doing it all for them. It's NOT that I'm lazy, I have a good work ethic but I believe in teamwork instead of doing extra because someone is lazy & expecting to goof off while I do their work for them.


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Oct 2014, 8:40 pm

A few other examples:

Once I was at a church function for New Years and one of the singles invited several other singles to an event downtown. I wanted to go but I got excuses.

"Well we are going to be gone for a long time. We can't take you back because we will have a full car. Can your family member come pick you up?"

A few of those people were in a small group that I also attempted to attend. I happened to be A-typical and did things unknown to the rules. They said I could go but needed to watch myself because they were holding me accountable.

The person who I lived with at that time would not allow me to attend anymore because they did not like the way they were treating me and other schedule conflicts.

In fact they never seemed to acknowledge me as one of their members or make me feel welcome there. They also never called me to see if I would like to join sometime.