Opinion of a Man Who Prefers the Company of Women?

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sly279
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03 Oct 2014, 4:00 pm

LKL wrote:
MindBlind wrote:
LKL, you make good points about him being too needy and invasive, but seriously? Calling women "ladies" is degrading? I think you are reading a bit too much into this guy's actual beliefs about women.

There's nothing wrong with the word 'lady' or 'ladies,' but every man I've ever heard using it has turned out to be a sexist douche who only respects women if they toe the line.


so is calling a guy a gentlement bad?
what about in movies or theaters where they say ladies and gentlemen?

honestly seems ladies is used interechangble with women, ladies, girls, etc.
toe the line?



GiantHockeyFan
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04 Oct 2014, 9:56 pm

LKL wrote:
There's nothing wrong with the word 'lady' or 'ladies,' but every man I've ever heard using it has turned out to be a sexist douche who only respects women if they toe the line.

I'm kind of puzzled to read this. The humour in my tone was obviously missed but either way I consider that an immensely respectful and polite term. I was kinda making a joke that I hold the opinion of women in high regard, hence my posting it in the Women's section. Story of my life that everyone (both men and women) seems to take my genuine, heartfelt compliments or praise as an insult.



androbot01
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04 Oct 2014, 10:06 pm

Don't take this personally GHF, but I'm not thrilled by the term either. Mainly because it implies a judgement. Like the person is judging my character and gauging that I am a "lady." I'm actually not sure what is meant by the term. It seems to come out of a different time. When I hear someone call me that I always want to say "I'm no lady." lol



LKL
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05 Oct 2014, 10:51 pm

A lot of women grow up hearing, 'A lady doesn't do this... A lady doesn't do that... etc, and the gist is that a lady is a woman who toes stereotypical gender lines, doesn't get too strong or too opinionated, who pretends to be super-human in the sense that she never gets publicly upset or angry, never farts, never has an itch, etc.

So even if you didn't mean just 'ladies' in that sense, that's what the word evokes for a lot of women: a straightjacket, and public scorn if she dares to take it off.



GiantHockeyFan
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06 Oct 2014, 11:00 am

LKL wrote:
So even if you didn't mean just 'ladies' in that sense, that's what the word evokes for a lot of women: a straightjacket, and public scorn if she dares to take it off.

I never really considered it from that angle. While I am attracted to soft, feminine women as a partner by no means do I have a checklist of what constitutes a lady or a woman or whatever term you use. Above all else, I just want women like men to be happy with who they are since we are all human and exist on a spectrum. It took me a long time to accept that's it's okay to prefer female friends and it doesn't make me effeminate or gay (I almost wish it did some days!) and my trying to cover it up made my life miserable. I suppose it's the same as "boys don't cry (except if their sports team loses)" or "men don't show affection to children except their own". It's total BS and that kind of thinking belongs in the dark ages.

I am not strictly a gentleman but I absolutely love being called one. Just remember that everyone I said was with the utmost of respect in mind. I don't personally think the term is nearly as important as the actions and intentions behind it.



LKL
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06 Oct 2014, 6:05 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
LKL wrote:
So even if you didn't mean just 'ladies' in that sense, that's what the word evokes for a lot of women: a straightjacket, and public scorn if she dares to take it off.

I never really considered it from that angle. While I am attracted to soft, feminine women as a partner by no means do I have a checklist of what constitutes a lady or a woman or whatever term you use. Above all else, I just want women like men to be happy with who they are since we are all human and exist on a spectrum. It took me a long time to accept that's it's okay to prefer female friends and it doesn't make me effeminate or gay (I almost wish it did some days!) and my trying to cover it up made my life miserable. I suppose it's the same as "boys don't cry (except if their sports team loses)" or "men don't show affection to children except their own". It's total BS and that kind of thinking belongs in the dark ages.

I am not strictly a gentleman but I absolutely love being called one. Just remember that everyone I said was with the utmost of respect in mind. I don't personally think the term is nearly as important as the actions and intentions behind it.


yes. Or also, "Real men don't..." or "Real men do..."



MindBlind
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07 Oct 2014, 5:26 pm

I don't feel belittled by being called a lady. I feel like I old when people call me one, though, but that's about it. I know that some people consider it as pushing a gender role (i.e, being "ladylike"), but I find it pretty benign. Eh, semantics...