Hello! *a really long post, sorry!*

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So, hi, I'm a 20 year old female, and I'm an undergraduate psychology student from the UK. I've recently come to realise (with the help of my mum and a close friend of mine) that I may possibly have AS - this was mainly due to the fact that this coming academic year we have a developmental psychology module and I like to research things before hand so I have a better understanding of what's going on. I'm here to learn more about the syndrome and myself before I decide to go and speak to my GP about possibly getting diagnosed with it!

Firstly, some of my scores from various tests are as follows:
RAADS-R: 187 (17, 76, 54 and 40 being my subscores, took the test twice, got the same scores both times!)
AQ: 36/AQ-10: 8.
And whilst I know that tests can't say definitively if a person has a disorder/syndrome or not, this has spurred me on to research into AS more.

I've come across many things that have just fit me so well.
- I have major issues with keeping eye contact, although I have "trained" myself to do it in certain situations.
- I also stim a lot and have done from a very young age (including hand flapping when excited, and bad things like head banging as a child when I was upset).
- I prefer to be on my own as too much social interaction stresses me out, however I don't always meltdown, sometimes I just dissociate instead.
- I have sensory problems as well. I can't stand light that's too bright, or noises that are too high pitched/loud (I don't mind loud music if I'm in control of it though). I have issues with touch, I hate light touch because it's just so irritating. Along with this, I also hate being hugged for any length of time unless I trust the person.
- I don't really understand idioms, although I know how/when to use them, but for me there's no point in making a sentence longer than it needs to be if you can really help it. Like, what's the actual point in that?
- I often take things literally for example, if someone says "don't talk to me ever again" I probably won't talk to them ever again, unless they come and talk to me or if there's a mediator involved (this recently happened with my brother).
- I obsess over specific things and people. Music, makeup and psychology are my three passions. I want to be a clinical psychologist when I'm finished with education (although I love learning). People often say I'm an expert in psychology!
- I am compassionate though, and I've read that females with AS tend to be a lot more compassionate than their male counterparts.
- I prefer written word over spoken word. I despise phone calls.
- Although I am good at small talk (supposedly), I don't see the point in it, so I refrain from it when I am able to.
- I'm also usually indifferent to pain. This can be a problem as I also have hypermobility (Ehlers-Danlos type 3).
- I don't really have a need for intimate relationships either (in fact, I identify as asexual).
- Extremely introverted. I hate being watched, so doing presentations makes me stim a lot.
- I'm a perfectionist. If it's not perfect first time, I probably won't do it again, although if it's something I want to do, then I can also get quite obsessive with it.
- I find patterns everywhere.
- I love numbers, though not necessarily in the way it's taught in schools. My favourite number is 4 and I do a lot of things in fours (e.g. four sips of a drink, etc.)
- I adore specific words purely based on how they sound when they're spoken aloud.
- etc. I could go on.

Due to all of this I've often felt like I'm "different" from other people, not necessarily "broken" though. It has caused a strain on relationships in the past, because people don't know how to react to me when I'm having a meltdown or saying things that they deem to be rude. As a consequence I don't have many friends, but the friends I do have are wonderful! Over the years I've learnt to cope with a lot of the social issues I have and I am able to pass as normal (mostly, some people still think I'm odd because I'm different from most other females my age), I guess that's why I've not been diagnosed with anything.

I'm here to talk to more people who are similar to me and to see whether or not it would be a good idea to pursue a diagnosis or just a waste of time. I'd love any feed back and I prefer personal messages so send me one if you want!

Thank you for reading, it means a lot.

Hey trails welcome.

Thank you so much!

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