Dealing with Poverty and its implications

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Has your disorder more or less landed you in a state of poverty and you find yourself confronted with issues you cannot afford and see no way out of? I didn't work for years, stayed home with my kids, got divorced and kicked to the curb by my ex and only make about $40 every week now. My husband never got to go to school and does his best, making and selling sandals but it's not too reliable, we are living off of the last bit of money of a trust fund, but that will be done shortly. We live in Jamaica where it is very poor and there is no work, or the work there is pays almost nothing, yet dentistry is expensive just the same. I received bad news from my dentist today about the sorry state of repairs my teeth are in, not only do I need a root canal and it will be expensive, but we have to drive 3 and a half hours out of town to another city to get it done! I have numerous other teeth that need filling but I may be able to get them done at a free clinic which is coming to town, however they don't do root canals. There is no way I am getting teeth pulled out, I would feel like a freak and have to eat mush since it is a big molar that I need for chewing. My mouth is a mess simply because of bad genes, I take care of my teeth. The final insult was some little hustler guy trying to sell me a tacky necklace and then dissing me because I would only offer him change for it.....let's just say I lost it with this dude and schooled him how not all white people are rich tourists! I feel like a loser because I can't even afford to fix my teeth, but I don't have the ability to earn big money and get a good job because of AS and because I have practically no work experience. Sometimes I can overlook that we live in poverty and lack basic things, but times like this I just get frustrated and feel like I am doomed. Does anyone else find themselves in situations similar to this, where they feel hopeless and totally alone?

I can relate to the poverty because I am homeless. I do have a car to sleep in which is a thousand times better than staying in a shelter.

I know I've compromised on the choice of work I do by choosing it out of need for the solitary nature of it, as I was bullied in conventional work situations.

Plus same issues even earlier, in my education....with the expected result of limited qualifications/skills to do much else. And this work isn't making me a good living, so yes, I only just get by, will never own a home, and there is a direct line of cause and effect from my ASD issues to that.

In case someone reading this wants to say something cruel to me, I'll say that although my above statements could sound like self pity or "blaming" something other than myself, I do not mean them that way, they are just the facts. The difficulties in this disorder can and often do make things harder if insufficient emotional support is there early on to help a person achieve whatever their personal best results might be, and there's no denying that possibility.

Talk with Olive Oil Mom, she is poor and lives in the US Deep South where there are no jobs. She is constantly having to sweet talk creditors etc. Being a small (racial) minority in your country likely means a lot of discrimination so that you immediately get turned away from what work there is. Also, there are several WP members who are homeless. If it wasn't for my mom having retired from a good paying government job I probably would be homeless too. She is old now and I plan to buy some land where I can grow my own food so I'm not blindsided when she dies.

The main reason that I'm not trapped in poverty is my husband; if he ever throws me out I'm gonna be totally screwed. I'm TERRIFIED. The only workable plan I have looks a lot like Pezar's. Get ahold of some land (I have that) where I can grow food, try to keep on good enough terms with the family I have left that they will help me deal with the things I just can't fathom (say someone decides to harass me, or I have to fight the school system or fight for some degree of custody of my kids), and hope I'm able to hold it together.

At least having grown up in West Virginia coal country, which my husband swears is a Third World country, I have experience in How To Be Poor.

I have no idea of how to help you. It would be asinine to say, "Consider the blessings of your situation." That's a really sh***y thing to say to someone in trouble...

...but in some ways it's true. Poverty sucks. But you are at least in a place where almost everyone is in the same basic situation; it is the way things are, it is commonly understandable. In the US, it seems like everyone around you is quite affluent, and poverty has all the same problems that it does in Jamaica, plus being a sin before God and very nearly a crime.

In Jamaica, you are looked down on for being poor too....if you are not Jamaican. They think we get paid for just breathing air or something here, people live in ignorance and don't realize that people are poor in first world countries too. So I am kind of disrespected because I am a poor white woman, whom they expect to be rich. In reply to your question, starkid, I have internet access that is reasonable, and actually I do work online now doing freelance writing but the pay is abysmal. The average person here only makes about $50 US per week and they have to put up with tons of verbal abuse in the workplace as their rights are not protected here. It's hard for me as someone who was married to a tyrant for years and hid away behind him, the result is practically zero marketable skills. Not liking the prospect of having to leave here, although Jamaica pretty much sucks, my husband is here, to go back to working in the massage parlours of Toronto....shameful as it sounds, it's the only place I could ever earn any money sadly with my skill set and disability.

I am not sure my financial situation is as bad as yours but its certainly not very good...I get 721 dollars a month from government assistance for disability and I pay 300 of that to my mom for rent, if i was not living here I'd probably be homeless till such time as I could find people to split rent with. I do however have medicaid which covers some dental stuff but probably not serious procedures like root canals and what not, it does help other medical costs for the most part. But yeah I still find it hard to afford things, and sometimes I am not always great at budgeting. Though trying to work on various ways to save on costs but that can be easier said than done.

But yeah there certainly is stigma towards the poor here.....but yeah not sure what the costs of living are where you live, they may or may not be higher here.

If the Canadian gov't will give you disability, it might be worth coming back.

Otherwise, sadly and sorrily, you might be better off in poverty in Jamaica than in poverty and possibly prostitution in Toronto. I don't think there's any place in the world where being poor, the wrong color, or both doesn't make for a miserable life. I guess that would be the one upside of Toronto-- at least you wouldn't be on the wrong side of the color line there.

Talk to vickyglietz. She's working on an autistic intentional community. You two might be able to work something out.

BuyerBeware - yes, actually I am trying to find out about disability benefits, the fact that I also suffer from bouts of anxiety and depression may also increase my chances of getting it, it seems. I was actually making decent money working in the sex trade, more than any other job I would be able to get, in some ways I do miss those finances, especially now with my teeth costing me a fortune. I also discovered that there is some free dentistry available through public health in Toronto and I know a dentist there who works "under the table" for cheap as well, I may have to go there just to get my teeth fixed. In Jamaica there are virtually no job prospects for someone in my shoes whatsoever other than my crappy online job. I am going back to university in Canada, and will be applying for loans, but that's not until next September.

JackBruns- Actually I am married and live here with my husband, so no, I haven't been sexually assaulted. People here are just kind of rude and pushy, but nobody has messed with me. That's why I came here to be with my husband. Also I am looking for something along the lines of what you described, but it's not always easy to get those kinds of prices, although good when you can get it. Looking into doing the domination thing too, since that's more my style anyhow, and there's a real demand for it too apparently...lots of guys want to get beaten surprisingly.