any successful relationships in which the girl initiated?

Post Reply New Topic

From experience, I've always pursued the guy, and it has never turned out well. For three years in college I pursued the same guy relentlessly (and obsessed about him for 4 more), until i realized that he wasn't that into me and didn't understand me at all. Then I pursued a friend of a friend, until he shot me down. Then it was a coworker; then I flirted with another coworker in my own awkward way, until I realized that he was never going to make the first move because he wasn't that interested in me as a person. Maybe physically interested, but not relationship-interested. I've always been incredibly awkward in general, but I've heard that even for NT women it can be like this: if the guy doesn't pursue, he's not that interested.It sounds black and white and simplistic, but it's the truth; even though a lot of guys say that they'd like a woman to make the first move, a lot more of them don't want us to.

I'd love for a woman to pursue me.
for guys like me its not that we aren't interested its that we are afraid of putting ourselfs out there just to be smacked down. I've never had a woman be geniully interested in me, so I don't pursue any women I am interested in. that mindset is just that men have to pursue so if they don't then they not interested. that's wrong and old fashioned.

i look/stare every so often unless they look at me then i look down or away. that's about all I do. I taught myself not to smile when I see a woman I like. it took a few years, but now i almost never smile.

I've only been in one relationship, which she initiated. While it ended horribly many times over, I don't think that was due to her approaching me first (we had lots of other problems).

Personally, I think that many women today (at least in the U.S.) no longer dream of being wives, companions, or mothers...just as men no longer desire to be responsible, loving fathers or husbands. We've become so saturated by a "me first" mentality, and the few who honestly wish to be selfless are mocked or rejected as a result. The media and overall culture basically tells people, "you're all that ultimately matters; no one else is worth the trouble". Its a bold-faced lie, but sadly, many believe it.

Or they meet you, decide you are creepy and want nada to do with you. You're not entitled to or "owed" a relationship!

seems to apply to men more than women