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olympiadis
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16 Oct 2014, 9:13 pm

hollowmoon wrote:
wow this seems complicated :/ do NT's really think about this stuff?


No they don't. It comes to them at lightning speed via intuition.
They try to most often run on this "autopilot" means of coming to conclusions.

What they automatically intuitively know, we must deduce through conscious thought, which causes significant delays and errors.

Compare riding a bicycle to solving a mathematical word problem.
You don't have to think about riding the bicycle.
The conclusions about what to do come to you from the subconscious so fast that it requires no conscious mental effort.



James_Ladrang
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16 Oct 2014, 9:30 pm

I've often managed to offend without meaning to. I also (try to) use humour as a coping strategy in life.
When accused of being a know it all by those who know me, I tell them I DO know all the answers, it's just that I don't always know which questions they apply to. I don't understand why but often humour seems to make things less bad, though I have had to learn my jokes by heart after getting them right by trial and error.



B19
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16 Oct 2014, 9:43 pm

People (not so many these days) used to grow up being taught that it is always rude to ask personal questions unless you know the person very well, such as an old close friend. Personally, I would like to see a return to this (won't hold my breath).

Even worse than asking non-intimates personal questions, in my view, are the people who use it as an opening sentence with a complete stranger. This happened to me a year ago, when a woman said "What do you do for a job?" It had nothing at all to do with the purpose of the meeting we were at, she was a complete stranger to me, and it was extremely intrusive of my privacy. I was shocked. Gave her the long stare and said "I don't share that information with strangers, sorry".



dianthus
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16 Oct 2014, 9:58 pm

B19 wrote:
People (not so many these days) used to grow up being taught that it is always rude to ask personal questions unless you know the person very well, such as an old close friend. Personally, I would like to see a return to this (won't hold my breath).


I would like that too. It seems to be a trend now to pry into the personal lives of strangers and I really dislike it. Not just that they ask these questions, but they often do so in a rapid-fire, almost flippant sort of way, and seem to expect an equally casual sound bite for a response.

Plus if not it's bad enough that they ask such nosy personal questions, sometimes they just continue to probe further wanting to know more details. Like when people ask if I have children and then want to know, "Why not?" It's just incredibly invasive.



Nonperson
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16 Oct 2014, 10:42 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:
All of those things are rude.

1 and 3: NEVER point out anything that could possibly be constructed as a fault (not finishing college at 22, being a picky eater)

2: At the same time that you must never correct or criticize, you must ALWAYS accept correction and/or criticism gratefully.

4: Don't correct people. Ever. Unless it puts someone's life and/or safety in danger. Please remember that these rules don't apply to you (ie, if someone corrects you, even nastily, you are not allowed to get offended).


:roll:

Yeah, do that, if you want to end up suicidal.

Stop telling aspies to treat themselves as badly as NT assholes treat them.



B19
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16 Oct 2014, 11:16 pm

dianthus wrote:
B19 wrote:
People (not so many these days) used to grow up being taught that it is always rude to ask personal questions unless you know the person very well, such as an old close friend. Personally, I would like to see a return to this (won't hold my breath).


I would like that too. It seems to be a trend now to pry into the personal lives of strangers and I really dislike it. Not just that they ask these questions, but they often do so in a rapid-fire, almost flippant sort of way, and seem to expect an equally casual sound bite for a response.

Plus if not it's bad enough that they ask such nosy personal questions, sometimes they just continue to probe further wanting to know more details. Like when people ask if I have children and then want to know, "Why not?" It's just incredibly invasive.



It is incredibly invasive, and although I know this happens, I am shocked by the sense of entitlement these "rude question askers" display - knowingly or not. I think they deserve the good old fashioned "That is none of your business" response, however the modern version of this appears to be: "..and your reason for asking is what, exactly?"