Taking things literally - funny moments? :)

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Once when my son was younger, I asked him a question and he didn't answer me. So I asked him again. No answer. I asked again. Still no answer.

So I said: "Are you going to answer me, or are you just going to sit there?"

His response, in the most matter-of-fact tone possible: "I am just going to sit here."

Another time I told him I would take his sister with me to the store "So she won't get in your hair."

"She can't. It's too short."

He has gotten much better and sometimes now he makes a joke of it and pretends to take things literally, when he really understands that they aren't meant to be literal (though he often cannot decipher what the figurative meaning is).

I thought the same thing but I also pictured an Indian from India.

I remember back in 2004 or 2005, I went to the lake house with my family for the 4th of July and the bathroom floor was all wet. My Dad asked "why is the floor all wet?" and my mom said "your dad put a brick in the toilet" and I thought he did an elderly thing and wondered where he got the brick from and why he did it. Everyone said he made it and I asked how did he make it and I overheard my uncle tell his friend I am literal. My mom told me he was constipated and I kept asking where he got the brick from and how did he make it and why did he do it and mom finally said "Putting a brick in the toilet does mean he was constipated, it was hard so it clogged it up making it overflow."

I remember the time when I was 16 I was in biology. Our teacher told us we have to wear safety goggles because last time he let his other class not wear them and Mr. E came in the room and caught him with his pants down. I was surprised at that behavior because I actually thought he had them down so I asked why did he have them down and some kids laughed and my aid said it was a figure of speech.

I used to love doing that. See... my dad (and frequently myself) give very analyzed estimations on things... especially time. Like my dad once said to my friend and I, "I'll be back in 17 minutes." My friend said, "17 minutes? Why doesn't he just say 15 or 20?" I said, "Because it's closest to 17..." Anyway, I always have a digital watch on my wrist, so when my dad would give his time estimations I would quickly start my stopwatch to see how close he was. One time he told my brother that we'd be to our destination in 23 minutes. I started my watch. We got there with literally 1 second to spare. I gave him a countdown so I'm sure he adjusted his speed a little to hit it just right but it was still a fantastic moment when we rolled up to the driveway right as I was saying 5... 4... 3... 2... 1.

I went camping this summer with a 40 year old trailer camper and a 30 year old Dodge PowerRam. The neighbors invited me to their campfire and we were chatting about my awesome Dodge. Then she said, "So how'd you get here?"
"The Dodge," I said. (Did she think I brought 2 vehicles?) Everyone laughed.
"No, I mean...what brought you up here?"
"The Dodge?..." (More confused...then I got it.) "Ohhh..."

As far as people thinking I've taken something literally when I haven't...
I was discussing something with someone and the said, "Well, the fat lady hasn't sung yet."
"So how do we provoke her to sing?"
"It's just an expression. It means something isn't over yet." (I KNOW...I was trying to be clever.)

I don't know if this is just an English thing or maybe just perhaps my area, but usually when someone says Indian they mean Indian food, as in Asian Indian. I thought my friend meant Indian person not food.

This is one I did at a group meeting about 20 years ago. One of the guys in the group said in his sentence, something on the order of like "Pigs can't fly.". Of course, I interrupt him and said: "Well actually, pigs can fly. It's just a matter of loading some pigs on to an airplane and taking off. Most pigs are well within the weight limit of most modern aircraft.". Of course, everybody in the room looks at me funny and the head guy tell me (in a sarcastic way.) "Well I'm glad your here to tell us these things, LupaLuna. THANK YOU! I'll keep that in mind.".

Apparently, what I said to this one girl who I was texting at the time was funny. She had a UTI and it went something like this:

HER: I had to go to the restroom like 20x yesterday.
ME: Wow, gee! It must be a bit sore down there then!

I didn't get a reply after that.

"What's the deadline?"
"It's when we have to give the work in by"

*At Religious Youth Group I attended with a religious friend*
Pastor: This local pizza restaurant has graciously provided us our pizzas for this evening. Let us give Thanks.
Everyone else: *bow heads to pray*
Me: *starts clapping*
*Everyone turns to glare at me*
Me: oh...? sorry...
---------
*In shopping mall*
Friend: I want to go to the Apple store.
Me: Is it like... candy apples, chocolate covered apples and stuff like that?
Friend: uhh... no like, Apple products...
------------
*In mall*
Friend: The customer service levels aren't the greatest.
Me: There are customer service levels? I didn't even know there was an upstairs.
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Ah, I was looking for a thread like this. I enjoyed reading everyone's funny stories.

For me growing up, taking things literally got me in trouble more than once. It was mostly with instructions -
My mum told me to "put the kettle on", so I did, and it was only two minutes later when the kettle was making a terrible sizzling noise that we realised she meant "fill the kettle up, and then put it on"... the kettle never recovered from that one!
Similarly, I was told to turn on the washing machine, so I did, without checking the door was closed... nobody was very pleased with me after the kitchen flood of '14

When I was ten (way too old for this and unacceptable for someone who already studied figures of speech) I interpreted "birthday suit," as a special party suit. I didn't know it meant "naked." That's pretty stupid for somebody who later got a Master's in English.

I have never heard of "Indian in the garden." Indian In The Cupboard, yes, but not Indian in the Garden.

Those who think literally are not wrong in their interpretations. Every figure of speech had its literal historical meaning. Prime examples related to my special interest are "Raining cats and dogs" and "Let the cat out of the bag." I found it fun to research the historical origins of many common expressions.

Never heard that expression before.

Must be some kind of euphemistic thing. Will hafta Google it.

++++++++++++

Just now googled it. Got a zillion entrees for "the Indian Garden Restaurant", but zilch for "Indian in the garden".

So WTF does the expression mean? And who besides your friend ever uses it? And which kinda 'Indian' is it? Red dot? Or feather Indian?

I know about the latter expression.

"Letting the cat out of the bag" is the twin sibling of "buying a pig in a poke".

A 'poke' is a bag.

IF you're living in the middle ages you might buy your pork live by buying a live pig. But the guy selling you the pig may not let you see what kinda animal is squirming around in his bag. So you would be forced to buy your pig "in a poke". But if the guy lets down his guard and the animal escapes from his bag, and it turns out to be a worthless kitty cat before he seals the deal then...he just let the cat out of the bag.

'have an indian' in the UK means to have an indian takeaway/restauarant meal , I'm guessing 'Indian in the garden' means have a indian takeaway meal and eat it in your garden.

I had a Chinese in the gazebo once.