Why do people suddenly stop talking?

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Shebakoby
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23 Oct 2014, 6:54 pm

Einschmidt wrote:
Also a lot of time when reading there profile it seems like we would make a good couple so why do they not even talk to me?


Perhaps there is a dealbreaker that they did not tell you.



Jjancee
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23 Oct 2014, 8:21 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
Einschmidt wrote:
Also a lot of time when reading there profile it seems like we would make a good couple so why do they not even talk to me?


Perhaps there is a dealbreaker that they did not tell you.


They're not interested if they don't respond. Why they're not interested? Is unknowable and irrelevant.

(I get 40-50 emails per day, minimum, on OKcupid. My personal turnoffs are guys who can't spell and/or go into waaaay too much detail for an introductory email or write to complain why I didn't respond to the overly detailed email they sent me 20 min or 2 hrs ago).



sly279
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24 Oct 2014, 2:02 am

Jjancee wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
Einschmidt wrote:
Also a lot of time when reading there profile it seems like we would make a good couple so why do they not even talk to me?


Perhaps there is a dealbreaker that they did not tell you.


They're not interested if they don't respond. Why they're not interested? Is unknowable and irrelevant.

(I get 40-50 emails per day, minimum, on OKcupid. My personal turnoffs are guys who can't spell and/or go into waaaay too much detail for an introductory email or write to complain why I didn't respond to the overly detailed email they sent me 20 min or 2 hrs ago).


I really dislike this. women either complain you don't say enough or that you say too much, there's good message. if I just say hi and stuff its to little and if I address stuff from their profile to start a conversation its said to be to much .

when I use to send messages I wouldn't send another first message after the first. only time I send to messages in a row is when she didn't reply in a week. mainly cause the girl kept getting busy and we had a great long conversation.

I'm too worthless to message any women now so I don't have to worry about it.

also yeah most women care a lot about spelling so its yet another reason I'm screwed.



rdos
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24 Oct 2014, 3:16 am

Jjancee wrote:
(I get 40-50 emails per day, minimum, on OKcupid. My personal turnoffs are guys who can't spell and/or go into waaaay too much detail for an introductory email or write to complain why I didn't respond to the overly detailed email they sent me 20 min or 2 hrs ago).


Yeah, this is why online dating sucks so much. People setup incredibly high standards in order to sort all the attention they get (which probably is mostly generated by a small amount of people, just like spam is). And because most girls are interested in the same features, and those are only present in a small amount of guys, we get a really unhealthy situation.

I'm pretty sure you are less picky IRL, and you might not even care if a guy is an expert speller or not?



hale_bopp
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24 Oct 2014, 3:41 am

Yuzu wrote:
Most likely they started talking to someone more interesting.
What kind of messages do you send? Do you talk about something in their profile?


This is unlikely.

Speaking of someone who has done this - They probably just can't be bothered. Not a lot of people taking online dating seriously.



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24 Oct 2014, 3:43 am

calstar2 wrote:
Short answer: Not interested


Thread was over after this post. Sums it up in two words.



hale_bopp
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24 Oct 2014, 3:45 am

I'm going to be honest with you.
Looking at that profile you're just an average guy like the millions of other average guys on dating sites. It's like farting into the wind.



886
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24 Oct 2014, 4:25 am

Online dating is harsh, a non-answer is the same as "I'm not interested" as someone pointed out.

You just have to remember you can't blame yourself and you can't blame the girl. Match % on questions don't particularly matter as much as you think, either. All you can do is try to start a conversation outside of "hi how r u" and try to talk about something you both might have in common, it probably plays a factor in why conversations end so quickly.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 6:32 am

Yuzu wrote:


I'm surprised anyone reply to a message saying just "hi". That's considered a big no no. Try to come up with a message asking about their interests in 2 or 3 sentences. And don't compliment on their looks.


If a very good-looking super hot single guy with very good profile and with a lot of common interests/music/compatibility with you sends you a first message as just "hi", won't you reply with a hi too?

Note: if you say No = you are lying.



blue_bean
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24 Oct 2014, 8:54 am

They weren't interested even before replying to your first message, they were just being courteous by replying. After all, don't guys complain and make negative judgements about girls who never reply?



downbutnotout
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24 Oct 2014, 10:16 am

886 wrote:
Online dating is harsh, a non-answer is the same as "I'm not interested" as someone pointed out.

You just have to remember you can't blame yourself and you can't blame the girl. Match % on questions don't particularly matter as much as you think, either. All you can do is try to start a conversation outside of "hi how r u" and try to talk about something you both might have in common, it probably plays a factor in why conversations end so quickly.


Yeah, I think that's it. Some people might humor a response for a little while, but if there's nothing there then there's nothing there.

Most people passing each other in the street are probably terrible matches for each other. Online dating is the same, except it has people in front of a screen looking at text and pictures instead of a person.



Yuzu
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24 Oct 2014, 10:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yuzu wrote:


I'm surprised anyone reply to a message saying just "hi". That's considered a big no no. Try to come up with a message asking about their interests in 2 or 3 sentences. And don't compliment on their looks.


If a very good-looking super hot single guy with very good profile and with a lot of common interests/music/compatibility with you sends you a first message as just "hi", won't you reply with a hi too?

Note: if you say No = you are lying.


Well yeah, but it's extremely rare for guys on online dating sites to be that hot and interesting.
I have been turned off by guys whom I was mildly interested in, because they sent me those lazy messages. So even if you think you're all that, it's better to put some effort in writing a better message than "hi".



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 11:16 am

Yuzu wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yuzu wrote:


I'm surprised anyone reply to a message saying just "hi". That's considered a big no no. Try to come up with a message asking about their interests in 2 or 3 sentences. And don't compliment on their looks.


If a very good-looking super hot single guy with very good profile and with a lot of common interests/music/compatibility with you sends you a first message as just "hi", won't you reply with a hi too?

Note: if you say No = you are lying.


Well yeah, but it's extremely rare for guys on online dating sites to be that hot and interesting.
I have been turned off by guys whom I was mildly interested in, because they sent me those lazy messages. So even if you think you're all that, it's better to put some effort in writing a better message than "hi".


Why should I? I get a reply anyway.

In real life people start with a hi, not with an essay intro. lol



Yuzu
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24 Oct 2014, 11:40 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yuzu wrote:


I'm surprised anyone reply to a message saying just "hi". That's considered a big no no. Try to come up with a message asking about their interests in 2 or 3 sentences. And don't compliment on their looks.


If a very good-looking super hot single guy with very good profile and with a lot of common interests/music/compatibility with you sends you a first message as just "hi", won't you reply with a hi too?

Note: if you say No = you are lying.


Well yeah, but it's extremely rare for guys on online dating sites to be that hot and interesting.
I have been turned off by guys whom I was mildly interested in, because they sent me those lazy messages. So even if you think you're all that, it's better to put some effort in writing a better message than "hi".


Why should I? I get a reply anyway.

In real life people start with a hi, not with an essay intro. lol

^ I thought you wrote more than "hi" on OKC.
There is no need for an intro essay, that's what your profile is for.
It's not the same as hitting someone in a bar either so you gotta say something more than hi that makes them want to engage in conversation. Or your message will be buried in all other similar dumb messages.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Oct 2014, 12:23 pm

Yuzu wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yuzu wrote:


I'm surprised anyone reply to a message saying just "hi". That's considered a big no no. Try to come up with a message asking about their interests in 2 or 3 sentences. And don't compliment on their looks.


If a very good-looking super hot single guy with very good profile and with a lot of common interests/music/compatibility with you sends you a first message as just "hi", won't you reply with a hi too?

Note: if you say No = you are lying.


Well yeah, but it's extremely rare for guys on online dating sites to be that hot and interesting.
I have been turned off by guys whom I was mildly interested in, because they sent me those lazy messages. So even if you think you're all that, it's better to put some effort in writing a better message than "hi".


Why should I? I get a reply anyway.

In real life people start with a hi, not with an essay intro. lol

^ I thought you wrote more than "hi" on OKC.
There is no need for an intro essay, that's what your profile is for
It's not the same as hitting someone in a bar either so you gotta say something more than hi that makes them want to engage in conversation. Or your message will be buried in all other similar dumb messages.


When she finds the guy good looking and interesting for her, she will reply anyway and a conversation will follow whether his first message was one word or not.

This assertion that a guy should follow this rule of "asking about something in her profile" is a fake and posing behavior.
It's like how some guys act in gym and pretend they are giving "help" to that cute girl - because by "coincidence" they noticed she needs help somewhere - riiight :lol:, It's amazing how these same ones don't help the elders there.

Yes, i know, you ladies are so used to sitcoms, we all know this scene when the guy pretends he is interested in the book she's reading just to open a conversation with her.... awww so romantic, cute... and fake.

The guy who just tells her "hi" is being more genuine, believe me at that.