My tutor is insensitive.

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I am a BSc Pharmacology student at UCL (a uni in London). My tutor has said the following things (and many more but I can't remember them all):

1. I had a one-to-one session with the head fire officer and my support worker came with me; it was to avoid the massively crowded room that the fire safety talk was done (I had the one-to-one in a quiet room), and also to discuss with my support worker what can be done if the fire alarm goes off and I start freaking out (sensory overload). My support worker is with me full-time at uni. My tutor told me off for seeing the fire officer one to one and said that I was "pushing my support too far".

2. Recently he emailed me saying that I missed a test and how rude and badly behaved I was for missing a test. It turned out that this test never took place and it wasn't even advertised. My tutor said that if I don't make any effort, how can I expect to be a student. But there was no announcement about a test, and my support worker asked the biochemistry lecturer if there was a test and she said that it never took place.

3. My tutor said to me "stop relying on your support workers, you need to be independent". I am badly affected by autism, I can barely leave the house on my own and I need government-funded taxis to get to uni (my tutor would probably go mad if he found out I get funded taxis).

4. Tutor had a huge go at me not going to Freshers Week, despite that the first time that I ever went I had multiple meltdowns and had to stop attending.

He basically has very little, if any, understanding of autism and often insults me for being autistic. He says things like "don't exaggerate" or "make an effort".

Can anyone advise? I was thinking of asking to change tutors but I don't want to create a hate war.

Yep...it sounds like your tutor doesn't understand autism too well.

Where did he hear that you had a test which you missed?

I hope, at the very least, that he apologized for assuming something which was not true.

Would changing tutors affect your standing at UCL? If not, I would definitely consider changing the tutor.

Your tutor sounds like an abusive git.

It is not a hateful act to ask to stop working with someone who mistreats you -- you would not be creating a hate war with anyone by asking to switch tutors.

I suggest asking your support worker for help with the process if you do decide to switch tutors.

I have to agree, this guy sounds not so much insensitive as downright abusive of his position, and is taking out whatever the hell his problem is all on you.

You are absolutely entitled to whatever support you need in order to function and to do your course, and it is absolutely not his place to tell you how much support to use. ( What the hell does "pushing your support too far" mean anyway?? )

The job of a tutor is to support and encourage you, certainly not to drag you down and insult you, and if this is a regular thing then definitely begin the process of changing tutors, taking full advantage of the support, in doing so, that you're definitely entitled to.

Do change tutors if you can. If not, limit your contact.

But one thing you need to be aware of - a lot of students are trying it on. My husband is a lecturer in London (I think I probably live quite close to you because of places you've mentioned). He has heard every bs excuse in the book. My dad was a lecturer as were my husband's parents. I've heard it ALL - secondhand. After a while it wears you down and makes you a lot less tolerant and empathetic. Students LIE all the time. Not only that but some of the accommodations actually feel like advantages.

Secondly, you do need to really ask yourself if you could be doing more. You may be the rare exception, but most humans try to get away with what they can - and particularly student age humans.