Gotta be the single biggest frustration about being gay

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Is that you don't know who else is!

I see guys I find attractive to one degree or another, but I NEVER compliment them or say anything to indicate I might be interested in them because, I suppose, I fear they'd react negatively if they're not gay.

Make sense?

On the bright side.. thank God for the internet where there are so many gay guys communicating with one another via chat sites/email/personal ads etc. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to meet another gay guy before the internet became a household norm. Seriously.. huge respectful shout-out to the older generation of gays who did manage to meet one another and form relationships for sure!

To put it in another perspective: you're lucky you weren't gay over 20 years ago.

Of course, these days, there's still gay bashing--but, in general, there's much more understanding of gay people by non-gays. They don't have to be shut off in the closet as much.

Also: you have much more of a choice. Related to the above, more and more people are "coming out."

Also: gay marriage is legal in many places, including Canada.

Gay Marriage? Woulda never thought of it back in my young adulthood.

Gays have made a remarkable amount of advances over the last 10-20 years.

I always thought that must be hard for gay people.
There's an assumption that people have that most people are straight, so as a straight person, I can approach anyone, and if they are gay, they'll just tell me. It's more risky if you're gay.

I've always had superb gaydar. It's very much fun. But I never actually assume until I have some type of confirmation.
It's amazing what high numbers of men are gay. bi or tempted. In my experience it's close to 50%.
I like gay guys (and lesbians & etc), they're so more open minded about almost everything it seems, much less uptight about how things are said and seem to look at what is meant. They're great fun to talk with.
They seem much more accepting of my ASD atypicalishness.

I'm sure someone is certain they've met horrible nazi gay people and will be driven to say that not EVERY gay person is like what I've generalized here. I hope others will realize that I am generalizing my experiences as well.

Yes. This. Exactly.

I suppose I shouldn't really have any real physical fears about how someone might react, though.. as I'm 6'2 200lbs & fairly strongly built, so should be able to defend myself just fine should someone ever freak out about an innocent compliment or question. That combined with the fact that I'd be most likely to flirt with someone younger and smaller than me, anyways, which further reduces any threat of a violent reaction. That's just worst case scenario anxiety talking, though, and probably isn't likely to EVER happen. Chances are more likely that there'd just be a very simple and courteous rejection and we'd both move on. But still.. it feels a little weird to think about talking to another guy in public like that.

In the West Village in NYC, men talking to other men, even men kissing men, is as natural as can be.

Over the past five years or so, I've seen many more guys kissing other guys romantically in public.

Here, too, in Davie Village & the West End in Vancouver.

Buuuuuut, I'm not into "the scene." At all. Not my style. I only ever really venture down to that part of town a few times a year or so. It seems to be where a lot of the more flamboyant flamingly gay types have congregated. And the night club barbie/ken doll types. Totally not my style - although some of them can be attractive.

I'm much more of a.. regular ? guy. I'm naturally straight looking and acting and everyone just assumes I'm straight. I get a little bit of amusement out of people watching in the gay district once in a blue moon, but that whole scene just isn't what my life is about at all. I'd rather go kiteboarding, go for a run, read a book, cook, do something, learn something etc than hang out in the gay district.

Although, since I've never really hung out there very much at all.. maybe I should do so a little bit before judging everyone in that part of town with the same flamboyant stereotype. I might just meet someone there like myself. The couple of times I've had a beer at one of the gay pubs there it seemed to be a pretty "normal" group. The pretty boys and lady boys and flaming queers fill up the night clubs lol. Hmmm.. maybe I should go explore that part of town a little more sometimes. What's the point in living in the city with the highest number of homos in the country if I don't at least go check some of them out? I do get in touch with other guys, but online. I haven't chatted with anyone very interesting for a while now who's interested in meeting so have recently switched to browsing some other dating sites and I have many many more guys to shoot a message to and see if we have anything in common.. but ya, maybe I should toss going to the place of rainbows into the mix a bit? Hmmmm.