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LupaLuna
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07 Nov 2014, 2:39 pm

I don't tell anyone I know in person when my birthday is, because I don't like having parties.



Campin_Cat
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07 Nov 2014, 6:19 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, r2d2!! !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

OP: Maybe you're afraid of your birthday because you feel like you should have "fixed" yourself, by now----or, come farther in the process? Maybe, look at it from a perspective of what you have accomplished, gotten-over, conquered, or whatever?



Raleigh
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07 Nov 2014, 8:44 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, r2d2!! !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

OP: Maybe you're afraid of your birthday because you feel like you should have "fixed" yourself, by now----or, come farther in the process? Maybe, look at it from a perspective of what you have accomplished, gotten-over, conquered, or whatever?

No, it's not that at all. I think I've accomplished a lot.
I'm the kind of person who's always been very much invisible and prefer it that way. I barely speak, I never put myself forward or draw attention to myself if I can help it. I don't want recognition. I find it difficult to deal with. If I could have a superpower I would choose invisibility.
I realise other people like the attention but I don't. I think I should have the right to celebrate my birthday how I choose and not have celebrations forced upon me that cause distress and lead to a meltdown.
If you had a fear of snakes and someone started hinting they were going to put you in a snake pit in a few weeks time how would you feel? The fear is similar.

R2d2, I hope your birthday is a day of peace.


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Campin_Cat
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08 Nov 2014, 12:57 am

Raleigh wrote:
I think I should have the right to celebrate my birthday how I choose and not have celebrations forced upon me that cause distress and lead to a meltdown.

Yep, I totally get that, and you certainly should be able to have it the way you want it. I can relate cuz I've said things to NTs and because they've never experienced "whatever", they don't believe you, or they think you're saying something like: "Oh, no, I don't want you guys to go to all that trouble"----and that's NOT what you're saying, at ALL!! !

If you had a fear of snakes and someone started hinting they were going to put you in a snake pit in a few weeks time how would you feel? The fear is similar.

Yep, I can understand what you're saying.



Unfortunately, I don't know what to offer as a suggestion. Maybe, you could talk, privately, to the "ring-leader", and tell them about your removing your name, taking vacation, etc. because it truly is not something you want cuz it makes you panic, or whatever. Don't try to talk "gently" to them----like, by saying it makes you feel "uncomfortable" cuz talking like that obviously isn't working. Maybe, giving the snake pit analogy you just gave, would help.




Luzhin
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08 Nov 2014, 1:14 am

I don't fear birthdays but I certainly do not like the attention. It all seems very awkward. That aside, I really do like cake. :D

r2d2: I see that you are 3 days older than I am. I try not to think about my life being more than half-way over. I like to think that there's a lot of crap in the past that I'm glad I don't have to deal with anymore. Since I'm now 'elderly' people can take me as I am, or not, because I no longer care or have anything to prove.



Raleigh
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08 Nov 2014, 1:39 am

Campin_Cat wrote:

Unfortunately, I don't know what to offer as a suggestion. Maybe, you could talk, privately, to the "ring-leader", and tell them about your removing your name, taking vacation, etc. because it truly is not something you want cuz it makes you panic, or whatever. Don't try to talk "gently" to them----like, by saying it makes you feel "uncomfortable" cuz talking like that obviously isn't working. Maybe, giving the snake pit analogy you just gave, would help.



Yes, you're right here. A lot of it is my fault because I can't express myself well verbally and I'm too timid to stand up for myself. Maybe I will write a note to the 'ringleader' as you say. I will decorate it with snakes and say, "Please don't put me in the pit - your birthday bash gives me the sh*ts." (Not really- I will be sensible) :)


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Last edited by Raleigh on 08 Nov 2014, 2:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

andrethemoogle
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08 Nov 2014, 1:49 am

I'm half and half on birthdays. I like the dinner and cake I get, gifts if any (I usually don't ask for gifts on my birthday, haven't for years) and just a day where I really don't have to do much

The other half is that I hate that I'm getting older and if I'm going out for dinner, the possibility of a panic attack or stomach ache from the food. For my 25th I think I'll just stay home and order some food from a restaurant for us.



Campin_Cat
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08 Nov 2014, 11:39 am

Raleigh wrote:
Campin_Cat wrote:
Unfortunately, I don't know what to offer as a suggestion. Maybe, you could talk, privately, to the "ring-leader", and tell them about your removing your name, taking vacation, etc. because it truly is not something you want cuz it makes you panic, or whatever. Don't try to talk "gently" to them----like, by saying it makes you feel "uncomfortable" cuz talking like that obviously isn't working. Maybe, giving the snake pit analogy you just gave, would help.


Yes, you're right here. A lot of it is my fault because I can't express myself well verbally and I'm too timid to stand up for myself. Maybe I will write a note to the 'ringleader' as you say. I will decorate it with snakes and say, "Please don't put me in the pit - your birthday bash gives me the sh*ts." (Not really- I will be sensible)


Yeah, a note's a good idea----I was totally going to suggest that----only, I'm thinking maybe you should give the WHOLE snake-pit analogy thing, cuz if you just put what you posted they might think you're calling THEM, snakes!!