Soiling pants in school/ toilet training regression

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Hi, I have an autistic son who is 6 years old, in first grade. Since the school year started he has been having increased accidents. First it was just urine, now he's soiling his pants several times a week. We try to talk about it and he just cries and says he's sorry and he can do better next time. I don't know if this is something we just have to wait out or if anyone knows anything that has worked to help get through this regression. He's being sent home from school more and more often. Any help or advice is appreciated!

Is it at home too or just at school? If it's just at school, maybe he's afraid to ask to go to the toilet?

It rarely happens at home. The teachers tell me he refuses to go to the bathroom when they ask him to go and has meltdowns if they push the issue. He says he doesn't want to be alone but of course the teachers can not be in the bathroom with him.

My oldest daughter had a friend in grade school who also had trouble. The parents got a special watch that prompts him at preset times with a vibration and a written reminder - of course he was old enough to read. Perhaps something similar that prompts him to go to the bathroom without the teachers pressing the issue - then it is the watch saying it is time, not a person.

My son had issues with non-home bathrooms. He wouldn't have accidents so much as unhealthily hold it in. That was the main reason we opted for half-day SPED instead of regular full-day pre-k, at first.

If he has no general issue with this, it could be that the bathroom he is expected to use is the problem ---too loud, too gross, too something. The sink's water could be too spurty or too loud, too.

Alternately, he could have issues with not wanting to miss out on "fun" while he is gone, or just feel weird leaving.

A different, quieter bathroom might help, a single private room like the nurse's might help, or maybe a social story on why he has to go when he has to go.

Dinosaur Train had an episode on this as did Daniel Tiger. I can't think of the episode names, off-hand.

This is a hard one. What could be the reason why he is afraid to go alone? Why can't teachers be in there with him? Can you send extra clothes to school with him so he won't have to be sent home?

I had soiling issues with my son and wetting until his sister was born but he still leaks stool in his underwear and holds it. He goes through lot of underwear. he has issues with constipation too from holding it. But he pees fine in the potty. But he hasn't had any issues at school since he only goes two times a week and is only there for three hours.

The bathroom is in the classroom so it's not a situation where there's stalls and a teacher can stand in with him having privacy. Unfortunately because it's public grade school the teachers can not be responsible for changing him/cleaning him up if he has accidents. The odd part is he never had this issue in preschool or kindergarten. Nothing in his routine has changed so I'm at a loss as to where this is coming from.

In my district regular teachers and aides/helpers are not allow in the children's restrooms at all.

I can't even pull up pants or help with a belt, let alone empty out poop underwear or pants.

The only thing I can do is hand a bag of clean clothes to the child, and let him change. Then I double bag the stuff.

Now it can be different with special ed teachers. Some do change diapers and such, but those
are self contained classes.

Try to get him talking. Find out whether the urge to go comes too quickly, or if there is something he doesn't like in the bathroom. See if he has any ideas about what would be better.

For the soiling, is he possibly constipated to the point it is leaking around a hard stool? A visit to his doctor and a course of miralax may be in order.

Is this his first year of all day at school? Is he in a public school where he is with NT kids or a school with a specialized staff? If the former, does he have and aide? Have you met with the teacher? Does the teacher impose a strict schedule for potty use?

Any one of the answers to these questions may be playing into it. If your son was doing well at home but getting more attention and under less stress then maybe this regression might be because of the new environment and expectations.

If you are able to, arrange to have a meeting with the teacher and administration staff of the school and enact an IEP that includes setting a schedule or protocol for using the toilet. I doubt they would provide an aide who helps him with the toileting but having someone to escort him while the teacher can tend to the other students would probably be acceptable.

My son did this at that age as well. Nothing helped, he just had to grow out of it, which he finally did at age 7. In the meantime, I sent a change of clothes to school each Monday and Wednesday. He did like being clean and he told me he did NOT like the school bathrooms, so I guess in our case this bodily learning had to happen at his own pace.
It's hard, especially if the teachers make a fuss. I tried to look at it as just a situation that he'd have to grow through instead of getting worried. I did ask him to use the bathroom at home, before school. Sometimes he'd poop then and come home clean.

Hi,

I am a 35 year old male, live in the UK, and have only been recently diagnosed. However, I did this a lot when I was about 5/6 years old.

I can only explain things that affected me as there were a few factors involved and below are a list of some of them that caused me to soil myself.

1) Anxiety issues. I didn't like being left on my own so much so that when I was around 2/3 my mum had to take me into the toilet with her.

2) I was very shy and looking back was also embarrassed at asking the teacher to go to the toilet. Or I tried to ask but was unable to tell the teacher that I need to go.

3) I felt that if I left the classroom then I miss something important or be exuded from something while I was away. Also, the other kids, all NT, never had any issues so I tired to be like them.

4) The other thing that didn't help was that I got upset and/or stressed out in not understanding the schoolwork.

5) Bring picked on a lot by other kids for little things like saying please and thank you to the teacher or any grown up.

6) As other have said is that I hated using the school bathroom because it was smelly, wet, the toliet paper was horrible. Even now, I still have issue with using public toliets for a number 2's.

The thing I can say is that as I got older I was more aware and able to control it. However, if stresses or anxious then I can have issue so I make sure that I take a couple of Imodium tablets and that helps.

Hope what I have said above helps.

Regards

Data001