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RightGalaxy
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11 Nov 2014, 10:17 am

Recently my brother who is on the spectrum and who is also gay told me that he feels like he's pouring too much money into a relationship with this guy. I met the guy and I don't like him.
He comes off as though he's hanging on to my brother until another, greater opportunity knocks.
I'd like to just punch him right in the face. I told my Bro what I think and he got so upset at me and said "You'd better not dare touch my Jeffrey." Well, his Jeffrey is a @#$%*!
I went though this myself and this is a BIG RED FLAG! Listen up fellow aspies, when you start pouring money into a relationship, it is because you know deep down inside that it's not progressing. You go around thinking that if you finance it and invest in it, something magical will happen. You'll get bountiful returns! NOT!! !! ! :P It's not progressing because the other person doesn't want to be there and won't move because they got no where to go. They won't contribute because they don't want it. You overcompensate because you DO want it. In the end, they leave and you're broke. So, why don't you just leave them. Why should they leave when they're riding for free? You have to literally kick them off the bus. A bum will suck you dry even if it takes 50 years to do it - and the whole f'n time, they get sugar and give sugar in other houses. Recognize this pattern right away and get FAR,FAR, away from them. Leave no address, leave no telephone number. People like this are VERY self-serving. If they're not robbing you, they're robbing somebody else. This applies to all, male, female, straight, gay, etc... A SOCIOPATH IS A SOCIOPATH. I'm gonna catch up with Jeffrey and when I do, that @#$%! !! better run faster than me. :twisted:



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Nov 2014, 10:19 am

OH MY GOD- i Should Stop f*****g pouring money in .....


...wait, I don't have a relationship.



kraftiekortie
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11 Nov 2014, 11:25 am

Yep....I know what you mean. Finance and Romance don't mix.



AspieUtah
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11 Nov 2014, 11:27 am

Proper timing is your best friend in this case. You have already warned your brother about your doubts with his BF. So, you have planted seeds in your brother's mind about what you expect (fear) from his BF. When (not if) his BF begins to get even more hostile (generally right before he leaves for good), ask your brother if he believes that his BF's behavior is what you had described to him before. If he agrees, offer your suggestions of remedy. If he still disgrees, back off. He will eventually come to see that you were right and seek your advice. Just make sure you have presented yourself as someone your brother would want to approach for advice.

My own opinion about such people as your brother's BF is this: Napoleon Bonaparte once said that "A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon." In the same way, humans will give all they own to have someone in their lives who flatters them. But, such humans will give their all just once and learn from the experience. Your brother will thank you for your patience and timely advice.


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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


RightGalaxy
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11 Nov 2014, 11:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
OH MY GOD- i Should Stop f*****g pouring money in .....


...wait, I don't have a relationship.


Nothing wrong with that Boo - better to have none than a really bad one.



autismthinker21
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11 Nov 2014, 2:53 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Recently my brother who is on the spectrum and who is also gay told me that he feels like he's pouring too much money into a relationship with this guy. I met the guy and I don't like him.
He comes off as though he's hanging on to my brother until another, greater opportunity knocks.
I'd like to just punch him right in the face. I told my Bro what I think and he got so upset at me and said "You'd better not dare touch my Jeffrey." Well, his Jeffrey is a @#$%*!
I went though this myself and this is a BIG RED FLAG! Listen up fellow aspies, when you start pouring money into a relationship, it is because you know deep down inside that it's not progressing. You go around thinking that if you finance it and invest in it, something magical will happen. You'll get bountiful returns! NOT!! !! ! :P It's not progressing because the other person doesn't want to be there and won't move because they got no where to go. They won't contribute because they don't want it. You overcompensate because you DO want it. In the end, they leave and you're broke. So, why don't you just leave them. Why should they leave when they're riding for free? You have to literally kick them off the bus. A bum will suck you dry even if it takes 50 years to do it - and the whole f'n time, they get sugar and give sugar in other houses. Recognize this pattern right away and get FAR,FAR, away from them. Leave no address, leave no telephone number. People like this are VERY self-serving. If they're not robbing you, they're robbing somebody else. This applies to all, male, female, straight, gay, etc... A SOCIOPATH IS A SOCIOPATH. I'm gonna catch up with Jeffrey and when I do, that @#$%! !! better run faster than me. :twisted:



i have a sister with a demented boyfriend and i dont approve of it. my mom basically gets harrassed on the phone with this dumbass. really sad.

i would not worry unless the guy your brother is with is threatening you. contact law enforcement if this is a problem your having. otherwise nothing else to do but just let your brother be.


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