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Moostar
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14 Nov 2014, 2:29 am

As the title displays, to have a preference to only one, or two race groups is quite foolish, and it limits a person chance to experience dating and friending multiple people. As a man who grew up befriending people who come from ethnic backgrounds. Reading up news report, and watching videos on websites from yahoo answers, and YouTube. I think its ridiculous that people make up reasons as of why they don't have interest in dating someone because of the actions of that said race. In my opinion, Having a race preference is someone trying hard to be nonracist about the type of person they want to date. Sorry if I made anyone angry, but, I had to get this out. Why would anyone want to limit themselves from another person because of the way they look, or, act? :x



Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 2:34 am

As a social psychologist I agree with you, but his topic is dumb. What do you want to gain by opening this topic? There's always people who will disagree (mostly ones that DO have 'race' preferences) with you and you won't be able to convince them. To be honest, too many topics have already been opened on this subject. A lot of them got locked. Not a very interesting nor fruitful debate.



Moostar
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14 Nov 2014, 2:45 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
As a social psychologist I agree with you, but his topic is dumb. What do you want to gain by opening this topic? There's always people who will disagree (mostly ones that DO have 'race' preferences) with you and you won't be able to convince them. To be honest, too many topics have already been opened on this subject. A lot of them got locked. Not a very interesting nor fruitful debate.



Its anger and confusion of people mindsets. I'm aware that people are attracted to whoever they're pleased.



Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 2:48 am

Moostar wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
As a social psychologist I agree with you, but his topic is dumb. What do you want to gain by opening this topic? There's always people who will disagree (mostly ones that DO have 'race' preferences) with you and you won't be able to convince them. To be honest, too many topics have already been opened on this subject. A lot of them got locked. Not a very interesting nor fruitful debate.



Its anger and confusion of people mindsets. I'm aware that people are attracted to whoever they're pleased.


So what do you want to gain from this topic?



Moostar
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14 Nov 2014, 2:59 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
Moostar wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
As a social psychologist I agree with you, but his topic is dumb. What do you want to gain by opening this topic? There's always people who will disagree (mostly ones that DO have 'race' preferences) with you and you won't be able to convince them. To be honest, too many topics have already been opened on this subject. A lot of them got locked. Not a very interesting nor fruitful debate.



Its anger and confusion of people mindsets. I'm aware that people are attracted to whoever they're pleased.


So what do you want to gain from this topic?[/qu


Answers, just answers on why some people would just reject others based on looks, and appeal.



Kezzstar
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14 Nov 2014, 2:59 am

All preferences are dumb.

And?


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Dox47
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14 Nov 2014, 3:05 am

Moostar wrote:
Answers, just answers on why some people would just reject others based on looks, and appeal.


I think you just answered your own question.


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sly279
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14 Nov 2014, 3:07 am

does preference mean attraction?

I can't help who I'm attracted to or not attracted to.

as for friends I don't limit myself at all by race/culture.



Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 3:54 am

Moostar wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
Moostar wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
As a social psychologist I agree with you, but his topic is dumb. What do you want to gain by opening this topic? There's always people who will disagree (mostly ones that DO have 'race' preferences) with you and you won't be able to convince them. To be honest, too many topics have already been opened on this subject. A lot of them got locked. Not a very interesting nor fruitful debate.



Its anger and confusion of people mindsets. I'm aware that people are attracted to whoever they're pleased.


So what do you want to gain from this topic?[/qu


Answers, just answers on why some people would just reject others based on looks, and appeal.


The main answer will be: "because I am only attracted to.... and I can't help what I'm attracted to" (BS imo). Most people can't think any further than that, so stop trying to convince these people that you cannot convince. Let it be.



Last edited by Cafeaulait on 14 Nov 2014, 4:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

izzeme
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14 Nov 2014, 4:01 am

it might be dumb, but a preference is (usually) not a choice.
i myself also have preferences for many 'traits' (length, race, weight, eye/hair color...) that just is the way it is.

choosing to limit yourself to those preferences, however, is the dumb part.



Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 4:21 am

Dox47 wrote:
Moostar wrote:
Answers, just answers on why some people would just reject others based on looks, and appeal.


I think you just answered your own question.


Indeed. Moonstar, perhaps you are one of these people for whom attraction is completely based on personality, but you are in the minority. And I highly doubt you would fall for any kind of physique. Although I think the racial attraction/preference thing goes way beyond the superficial, I get why people would not date a 500 pound acne breakout woman with bug eyes, a patato nose and stained sprawny teeth, for example.



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14 Nov 2014, 4:52 am

Preference isn't a choice and it is something we decide on subconsciously, however connecting emotionally on a deep level is far more important.

Stereotyping and making generalizations based on physical traits is extremely shallow in itself but society is shallow



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14 Nov 2014, 6:57 am

I could date anybody, regardless of race, body type, ability, etc. It's narrowing it down for a LTR that I'm going to be a bit more selective. Your choices are your business. If you want to only marry someone within your own race or another race, nobody can tell you not to do that.

My thing is I want children who look at least a little bit like me. I don't have a problem with mixed-race couples, nor do I have a problem with mixed-race people. It's just not for me.

Also, it's important to me that culturally my mate and I are on the same page. Where I live, it's hard to have black/white mixing because of the striking differences in cultural attitude. Everyone is fine with it until you get the families together for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't be comfortable around her family because I'd be "that white man." I could get used to that, but I'm not sure it would be fair to her because of heat she'd be taking from her family. Those kinds of things spill into the relationship, and I'm not going to deal with that.

Personally, there's a lot more to judge than just physical appearance. I'd prefer to see how stable her mom and dad are. I'd be hesitant to end up long-term with someone whose parents are divorced. That seems to have an influence on kids' attitudes when they get older, and I don't want to end up with someone who has divorce in her relational lexicon. I simply don't believe in divorce. I do understand it's difficult to find many people who don't come from broken homes, I do understand there are exceptions to the rule. But when I'm looking for dating/relationship/marriage material, I'm placing my bets where I have the most security.



Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2014, 7:16 am

AngelRho wrote:
I could date anybody, regardless of race, body type, ability, etc. It's narrowing it down for a LTR that I'm going to be a bit more selective. Your choices are your business. If you want to only marry someone within your own race or another race, nobody can tell you not to do that.

My thing is I want children who look at least a little bit like me. I don't have a problem with mixed-race couples, nor do I have a problem with mixed-race people. It's just not for me.

Also, it's important to me that culturally my mate and I are on the same page. Where I live, it's hard to have black/white mixing because of the striking differences in cultural attitude. Everyone is fine with it until you get the families together for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't be comfortable around her family because I'd be "that white man." I could get used to that, but I'm not sure it would be fair to her because of heat she'd be taking from her family. Those kinds of things spill into the relationship, and I'm not going to deal with that.

Personally, there's a lot more to judge than just physical appearance. I'd prefer to see how stable her mom and dad are. I'd be hesitant to end up long-term with someone whose parents are divorced. That seems to have an influence on kids' attitudes when they get older, and I don't want to end up with someone who has divorce in her relational lexicon. I simply don't believe in divorce. I do understand it's difficult to find many people who don't come from broken homes, I do understand there are exceptions to the rule. But when I'm looking for dating/relationship/marriage material, I'm placing my bets where I have the most security.


Not an issue. Nobody is telling you you cannot do anything.

Also, the looking like thing is a load of crap. I am mixed race myself and I look like both of my parents a lot more than just a little bit. My dad is white with blue eyes and I am a golden beige with hazel eyes but you can still tell he is my dad very much so. The fact that I have a sligtly button nose while he has a pointy one doesn't change that either.



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14 Nov 2014, 7:37 am

How could someone control his preferences? Most of them are with us since birth or early childhood. Like for example I can't eat strawberries or cheese without any logical grounding. I have no allergic reaction, nothing - but can't eat it. So as with other preferences.

However I believe partner for long-term relations should have more or less same mentality then I have. So of course if I'll start searching for her I'll look at those who have mentaliti I'm comfortable with. That is the main issue of partners of differen races - and not just skin color. People of different races often have different mentality even if they went to same school since childhood. The same is different nations - it's not so well seen because not many people can distignuish Polish and Belarus or Tutsi and Hutu but it is generally the same issue as with races. I see it right now - this year I found out that people of some foreign nations have more common mentality with me than my compatriots are. It should no be ingored.

So this is really wise idea to search for a partner of race or nation that has same mentality as you. There is no racism, no dumbness - there is logic.



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14 Nov 2014, 8:15 am

I don't control my preferences or decide who I'm attracted to.



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