Advice for interaction?

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Hi everyone --

I just joined the forum today. I have a friend who I've come to know over the past year and a half, although only for a few days at a time. He works with animals, and I visited with a group of photographers. I've become close with those at the site, and am not welcomed in as 'family' and visit as I wish.
I have a soft spot in my heart for one of the men, although he has always been 'different' (maybe that's the draw). Reading through Asperger's info, his personality very much aligns with the traits described.

We are very good friends, can talk across various subjects, and have become close. There have been instances where he is a bit flirtatious with me, or drops a comment along romantic lines (such as "is that an offer?") Hugs have been ok, and he's always really treated me specially. I felt there is something there, but was typically nervous to try to move anything more past friendship.

On the last night of my visit there, I talked into the night with the gal who also works there, who is now like a sister to me. She said that he never dates, talks to women, and that I'm the only one he has ever emailed back, called, or paid any type of attention to. Others thought there was "something going on between us".

This gave me the boldness to try to kiss him before I departed, and I got a pull-away, and a comment that life is uncertain.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach him or what to do?

thank you!

oooops! the "not welcome" should have been "now welcome"!

If you are in contact via email, I would tell him how you feel in an email but also stressing that you may have misread things so not to put him on the spot. I find I can deal with talking better by text or email better than face to face so I don't have to deal with eye contact and body language. It can be really embarrassing face to face not knowing how to read someone but by writing I can think about my responses and not have to deal with on the spot reactions. Just my 2 cents but at least you can clear the air and save any more uncomfortable moments.

thank you andyfzr.....
I did email (actually before your response), and stated that I valued our sharing and friendship above anything else, and that it was a bit spontaneous on my part. I had also drafted an email from three weeks prior, when we had talked on the phone and somehow the conversation had turned to prejudice (I live in a city in California where my daughter is 1 of 15 white kids out of 550 total, and the rest are chinese and indian -- all for the school district). I have traveled and lived in all sorts of cultures worldwide, and am open to all (although I understand that every one of us cannot escape some type of pre-judgement on every person we meet).
My friend has had some type of bad experience(s?), and has a deep-seated mis-trust of certain races specifically, but to the human race and people overall. But he is such a lovely and loving person....
I finally had the guts to send the email, and stated that I see people as "raw" as I can, and that we let individuals in deeper and deeper as we choose and allow. And that I hoped I had always been kind and given people a chance.
I listened to his hurt side, and wondered where it came from -- some past hurt that I don't know. But I wish I did....
I also really listened to his alternative viewpoint, and I am applying some of his perspective to my life -- I tend to be a care-giver, and my first instinct and reaction is to take care of anyone and everyone ahead of myself. I've been taken advantage of due to this, and his comments that night (although I already knew it in my mind), have heightened my awareness, but more importantly [i]action[i] to stand up for myself and to do the things that I like and want for me (kind of ironic, since I'm a pretty accomplished and successful person across multiple areas of life -- pro tennis, managing director at a computer chip company, and am adept at playing with power tools and remodeled an entire home on my own....oh, and ya, have a pretty great 9-year-old daughter), and anyone who knows me would be surprised that I'm typing this as someone who does have insecurities -- (I guess, don't we all???).
I was nervous as h*** after I hit 'send', particularly as his mum was visiting him (leaving the next day), and he passed the phone to her to go in and read the email while I spoke to her. Fortunately, when he came back to the phone, we talked comfortably for 20 minutes afterwards.......
I will see him again in January for 5 days, and will likely speak to him on the phone and via email here and there before then. I've been ready tons of info on AS, and really want to properly balance my interest (some posts have said to be pro-active in initiating actions/communication), but also respectful of the slowness and time it may take an aspie to be comfortable with relationship progression.

And, one other question for you (or anyone else reading the string).....how does animal touch differ from human touch and 'comfortability' with each? My friend works with lions, tigers, bears, mountain lions, lynx -- the whole gambit! And petting, loving, rubbing, scratching are sooooo comfortable for him. Hugs in the beginning were a little awkward (worker/client in the beginning), but are very comfortable now that we are friends (or hopefully more in my mind). Any input there would be helpful too.

I've been pouring over blogs and writings, and sometimes it makes my heart so sad for the sadness and strife and lack of connection that many aspies feel. I only hope that I can touch this one in my life. And, even if this doesn't work out, all of the reading and incorporating has, I believe only made me a more understanding and kind and accepting person to everyone I meet (I was that way any way to begin with, but even moreso now).

"Love" (quoted, as I know it's different to each), and touching or non-touching but at least verabally-written hugs to those of you that need it. I know I always do.....

an NT really wanting to connect,
Kylie

jeesh....more typos -- the scratching, rubbing, etc was with the animals, not me (darnit!) But human touch makes him jump a bit. I guess something to ask about and ease into if he's ok with it....