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inachildsmind
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 13 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 212

25 Nov 2014, 10:37 pm

So I have been super frustrated with my sons school. They do not seem to understand a lot of what I am telling them or asking them. They tell me to just "move on" and "that is solved already" and to ME its not. They are not getting the part I AM upset about, they keep seeing the picture but not understanding my motive... So anyway, after a month of dealing with this we had a meeting. I was suppose to have an advocate to help me with communicating with the teachers and principle. She never showed up >.< I tried to brave it out and face the three people on my lonesome, knowing very well, my communication was foreign to them. I got frustrated and talked loudly, got anxious and think I frightened them at one point cause I wanted to pull my hair out. They kept saying "We cant FORCE him to NAP or SLEEP" and I got sick of it and said "THATS NOT what I am concerned about, I am not an idiot, I know you cant FORCE him to sleep" and I tugged at my hair a bit. It was so overwhelming, I was mentally exhausted talking to three people who couldnt get my point of frustration with them or the school. I eventually gave in and felt like I was crazy and maybe I was seeing to far into everything. So I let them convince me everything was okay and I was wrong and so on. Signed papers that said the issue was solved and left.

On the drive home I had more questions, remembered things I wanted to say and realized they LIED to me. You see my son was restrained during nap, the teacher lied and said she walked away from him and he fell asleep. They gave me a picture of him napping and in that picture he is stiff, straight legs, straight arms and head to the left. Like someone held him down like that till he fell asleep. They convinced me that the teacher used it as a calming technique and then she walked away and told him she would do work. When she came back he was sleeping. Their is no way, my son who gets in trouble everyday for wiggling and moving, just FELL asleep, stiff as a board and did not move when she walked away. My fiance feels the same and doesnt believe the school. So this is where I think I went to far.

I start to email about how I did not trust the school, the teachers and this was all to the principle. I told her that I feel her teacher lied due to past history of how my son is during nap and how I personally know how my son sleeps. Then while I was at it, I just decided to type out all my frustrations with the school all over again. This time, I am telling them how they can do things better. You see children, special needs, child development, that is MY special interest. I have learned about everything I could since I was 5 years old and am now going into school this Fall to start classes for Early Education and Special needs, then to get my directors credentials so I can open up a home preschool for high functioning multi diagnosed, and behavioral issue children age 2-3rd grade. So I start talking about how important parent interaction is, and how this and how that. At the time it felt good to email it to her. But then I felt sick to my stomach this morning. She has not written me back. The holidays are coming, and my son was suppose to return to school this Monday coming up. I am embarrassed by my email ramble. The same way I feel when I verbally ramble about kid stuff to other people.I get this superiority feeling, like I know more than anyone else in that subject and honestly, I do. I am great at teaching and helping my children with SN as well and doctors are amazed at what I do with them to help them be where they are with the disabilities that they have. But yeah, I am sure its not what people want to hear. So now I feel guilt, embarrassment, shame and I dont know what else. I just feel like no matter where my son goes, I wont approve. But I feel like they think I am insane, not ASD. These people work with SN kids ASD etc. and they couldnt even help me and treated me poorly when I tried to communicate. How do I know they are helping other kids and most importantly, my son? How do I get passed this email I wrote? Have any of you been in a similar situation, verbally or email or letter to anyone and felt you said far too much?