Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

The Special Snowflake Slur

Page 3 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Previous topic | Next topic

Falloy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 355

28 Nov 2014, 5:27 pm

I've seen this term used in a derogatory way frequently online, usually on anti-feminist, MRA, libertarian and Conservative websites. Not that these are places that I approve of or routinely hang out in you understand, but I find myself compelled to click on autism hostile-looking links. I shouldn't and it's not doing me any good as far as my self-esteem goes.

I think these people throw Autism/AS, Dyslexia and ADD in the same bag as more dubious forms of self-identification as "headmates"and "otherkin". They also seem to equate an Autistic/AS person as being someone who behaves/behaved badly at school and is in need of discipline. This was certainly never an issue for me.

Perhaps they have never had to question their normality, their identity, sexuality or even validity and so just can't understand that some other people have to. Another possibility is that they like to see themselves as having solved the problems we faced through their own hard work and initiative and that we just need to stop whining and do the same. Following this reasoning, because I never had any problems learning to read, I could say that anyone claiming to be dyslexic is just being pathetic and needs to stop whining and get to work.



Tawaki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,439
Location: occupied 313

28 Nov 2014, 9:13 pm

League_Girl wrote:
It's also directed at parents who think their kids can do no wrong.

eg. "These days parents get mad at the teacher for their special snowflakes grade."


I never knew it was derogatory.


Oh it's code for helicopter mom and a kid who can do no wrong. Or for a person who is *so special, so different*, that they don't cope, and you have to go way out of your way to accommodate him/her. And the supposed Snowflake is never happy with the accommodations.

I have heard people use Special Snowflake in the same vein as *ret*d* or *spazz* or *drama queen*.



lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,896
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

28 Nov 2014, 9:28 pm

People who say it in a nasty way like that should be called a yellow snowflake. :twisted:



starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

28 Nov 2014, 9:32 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
People who say it in a nasty way like that should be called a yellow snowflake. :twisted:


:cheers: Winner.



mr_bigmouth_502
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada

28 Nov 2014, 9:50 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
I've never had that term thrown at me, but I've seen people use it as a derogeratory term for people they think are just trying to draw attention to themselves. I don't doubt that there are people out there who claim to be "autistic" just so that they can get attention, but I think they are fewer than people who actually are on the spectrum, who are simply being up-front about their condition.

I think it's normal for people on the spectrum to be up-front about things, but not so much for NTs. They're not used to it, so when they see someone being up-front about having some sort of a condition, one of the first things they probably assume is that the person on the other end is merely seeking attention.

Seeking attention is probably one of the last things most people on the spectrum want to do, though there are some exceptions. I'm strange in that I crave good conversation, but I don't actually like most of the other aspects of socialization. That's why I hang out a lot on internet forums, they give me an environment where I can converse with other people without the pressures of face-to-face socialization, like using body language or replying in a timely manner. For these reasons, I probably would consider myself to be more of an "attention-seeking" aspie. Compared to most people, I'm a huge introvert, but compared to the "aspie stereotype", I'm kind of an extrovert. :P

Another thing I should mention, a lot of people online feel that since it's "not real", and that they're safe behind their screen names, that the words they say don't have real world percussions. The opposite couldn't be truer. The Internet is possibly THE most public place on Earth, and the things a person says online can have a huge impact. People have lost their jobs over stupid things they have said online.


Interestingly enough when one attacks someone for supposedly seeking 'attention' perhaps they should look in a mirror most humans seeks some kind of attention. So even if an aspie was 'seeking attention' a neurotypical attacking them for that is kind of ridiculous it's like 'oh you're such an attention seeker'...now i gotta go do my hair, make up and make sure I look nice go out and flirt with the guys.' uhh so seeking any attention is a shameful terrible behavior but yet its one of the staples of social interaction since if no one pays any attention to you there is no interaction.

But I mean even facebook can be summed up in a few short words 'pay attention to me'....and the vast majority of people especially neurotypical people use facebook.


It's one of those stupid double standards, you're right. Attention seeking is one of those things almost everyone does (though more of an NT thing than an aspie thing), yet people still give each other crap about it.



campboy92
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2014
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 197

29 Nov 2014, 12:15 am

You all are so helpful.



WelcomeToHolland
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 583

29 Nov 2014, 1:18 am

I think attention seeking is one aspect, but another is that people feel like you're (you in general) asking for special accommodations unreasonably.

It's a bit like the mentality against welfare. "I work my butt off every day at a crappy job just so Joe Smith over here can sit around all day. Not fair." Similarly people feel that autism is used as an excuse to not do things that nobody really wants to do. Waiting in lines at Disney is an obvious example. "Oh so because you're autistic, you don't have to wait in lines that NOBODY wants to wait in?!" There are minor examples happening all the time of "perceived grievances" based on how "special" people claim to be. You're too "special" to do things that nobody really wants to do.

Honestly, I think in some cases this is accurate, and unfortunately the few cases are the ones that tend to stay in people's minds.


_________________
Mum to two awesome kids on the spectrum (16 and 13 years old).


Apple_in_my_Eye
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,420
Location: in my brain

02 Dec 2014, 11:23 pm

WelcomeToHolland wrote:
I think attention seeking is one aspect, but another is that people feel like you're (you in general) asking for special accommodations unreasonably.

It's a bit like the mentality against welfare. "I work my butt off every day at a crappy job just so Joe Smith over here can sit around all day. Not fair." Similarly people feel that autism is used as an excuse to not do things that nobody really wants to do. Waiting in lines at Disney is an obvious example. "Oh so because you're autistic, you don't have to wait in lines that NOBODY wants to wait in?!" There are minor examples happening all the time of "perceived grievances" based on how "special" people claim to be. You're too "special" to do things that nobody really wants to do.

Honestly, I think in some cases this is accurate, and unfortunately the few cases are the ones that tend to stay in people's minds.


Yeah, but I think that the assumption that it's justified and rational (or even based on experience) is questionable. It can be like able-bodied people who are jealous of those blue handicapped parking spaces that people in wheelchairs get. I mean, it can be like "you're not disabled, dude. You're not making any sense."

I think it has to do with feelings of social heirarchy and perceptions of "unfair advantage."