Any other groups that are more accepting of self-diagnosis?

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kicker
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03 Dec 2014, 12:33 pm

Persimmonpudding wrote:
kicker wrote:
@Norny

I was the one who said 'ten dollar words' and there is no need to apologize. Have a good night. :D
I'm hyperlexic, and I have sensory dysfunction to go with it. I have hypergraphia and the seizures that go with it. Whether you know it or not, we are not affecting this, and some of us are harassed and bullied over it. On the other hand, there are some in our own number who would call you names (of four syllables) and question your level of education because of the fact that you are different in your own manner of communication. In fact, there are some individuals who have a sensory dysfunction and relatively high level of intelligence and even think that others, who require noise in their environments to stimulate them, are just "bad people" and may even be moved to hateful acts.

Because our society truly has lost its way, people in today's culture will not believe that a person who thinks differently from how they do could be a well-meaning person. For instance, some of us feel comforted by the sense of "legitimacy" that is associated with professional diagnosis, and they find it sort of scary to be out there on their own without the help of a person who is in an officially recognized capacity to help them on their way. Others find it self-affirming and empowering to take a mindset of "self-help," and this doesn't mean they reject western medicine or something. They just feel best if they figure themselves out on their own terms before heading for a clinic. This is not because they think they know better. They just find it sort of scary to "take the plunge" to go seek diagnosis.

Today, we have an attitude that someone who thinks differently and has different needs just has something wrong with them, and that is why our society is crumbling.



I made a bet with my roommate as to how many people would find some god forsaken way to apply what I said to them and then either go on the defensive or go on the attack. Thank you I just won $5. (Which means I can go get myself a new paint brush yay!)

Btw all the things I said are common quotes, common sense, words of wisdom stuff. Mark Twain, Earnist Hemingway in specific for the ten dollar words. None of it was directed at any particular person or group or cognitive difficulty. If you found you fit the specific behavior that was described then maybe you do, though I certainly didn't say anyone did nor did I make fun of it or give any indication of hostility towards it.

Oh and those four syllable words your group is calling me, do share as I'm sure some of them fit, some of them won't fit, and some might just be hilarious.



Waterfalls
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03 Dec 2014, 1:44 pm

We all have the choice to react with hostility (or in the case of some members, sarcasm) or at least ask what was intended when something rubs us the wrong way.

I think if there was an understanding that many times, what people write that's offensive may not be intended as an attack, WR would be a better place.

This isn't about TOM or being NT or having ASD, and we can choose to do better for one another. What I wish for most is that members who don't like what I say, would just state a position politely, instead of using sarcasm and belittling. Maybe that's what this thread could move toward, is there a way for us to become a place where people can assume others here aren't out to get them and refrain from being unkind!



btbnnyr
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03 Dec 2014, 1:50 pm

I think that it is good for people to eggspress their opinions, and I don't want people to refrain from saying things that they really think and think are important.


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dianthus
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03 Dec 2014, 1:51 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
What I wish for most is that members who don't like what I say, would just state a position politely, instead of using sarcasm and belittling.


That's what I wish for too.

I keep seeing people talking about the rules and how they are not breaking the rules. But just because something isn't against the rules doesn't make it okay.

Also I notice people have very black-and-white interpretations of rules. But forum rules are usually meant to be dynamic, not concrete.



btbnnyr
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03 Dec 2014, 1:54 pm

I didn't use sarcasm or belittle anyone.
I didn't call anyone names or tell them to shut up.
I want to set the record straight that I didn't do these things.


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kicker
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03 Dec 2014, 2:17 pm

I also stated that they were rules/guidelines I live by and was sharing them in hopes it offered some clarity. Meaning that I saw people getting upset and wanted to help offer something to soothe them. So here's the list again with direct meanings.

"Meaningful conversation rarely repeats itself nor does it seek or demand validation."

Meaning that when people are engaged in a meaningful conversation, that they acknowledge each other's views and don't try to invalidate or begrudge one another and both parties feel naturally like they have been heard without one party submitting.

How does this apply here: If anyone felt that they weren't being heard they should try to only engage with people who are open to listening and trying to understand.

How it doesn't apply: That people's views are meaningless over what I think.

"Most intelligent people are articulate and don't require 'ten dollar words' to make their point.

Meaning that no person with any intelligence/understanding will purposely try to sound smarter when trying to convey an idea. That they understand others may not have the same level of understanding of the words and will make an effort to simplify their idea. Every scientist/academic on tv and in life speaks plainly unless teaching a class or talking to a colleague specifically about a process. As well they don't try to force understanding.

How does it apply here: There are always people who use words to make them look smarter and try to degrade other view points such examples can be found in just about any argument no matter the cognitive ability. If anyone felt that someone was doing that they should understand that they really aren't as intelligent/understanding as they make themselves out to be and consider the source.

How it does not apply: I don't think people are stupid for using or knowing big words, I know more than most, that doesn't change the fact that they should be used appropriately for the audience and not to show dominance.

"People that derive pleasure from continuing behavior, that they have been made aware of has negatively affected another, should be given compassion for they are stuck in their own toxicity."

Meaning that attacking them back isn't going to help. Instead show them some compassion and understanding that they may not be at a place where they can be at peace with themselves let alone anyone else.

What it means here: should be self explanatory. if people are getting upset with something someone does or says, and they expressed that they feel hurt, but the person doesn't stop then they shouldn't take it personally as the tormentor(s) are obviously having issues greater than you and compassion should be shown by not attacking them back. That they should try to be more understanding.

What it doesn't mean: that people should bully or think they are better than someone else, because they were attacked.

"Allowing others to dictate your worth by falling victim to their doctrines will only leave you valueless."

Meaning people will always believe what they want or understand, you can't change that. Nor should you put your self worth in the hands of those beliefs you should only value yourself as a person based on you, your beliefs, and your experiences.

How does it apply here: many people felt marginalized on both sides and expressed it by blaming the views of others for it. That they felt like their self diagnosis wasn't good enough or even their diagnosis.

How it doesn't apply: I'm having trouble thinking of any negative way that can be taken.

"Rules I try to live by. Maybe they will help give some clarity to things. :D"

Meaning exactly what it says.

How it applies here: I don't like the fighting or seeing anyone hurt.

How it doesn't apply: that I am am saying anything negative about anyone.



As well telling Norny that he has no reason to apologize should've been a fairly clear indication that I had no one in mind or had any malice.



dianthus
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03 Dec 2014, 2:37 pm

kicker wrote:
I also stated that they were rules/guidelines I live by...


Just to be clear I was referring to the forum rules, not your rules.



Persimmonpudding
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03 Dec 2014, 2:46 pm

kicker wrote:
Btw all the things I said are common quotes, common sense, words of wisdom stuff. Mark Twain, Earnist Hemingway in specific for the ten dollar words.
The quotation by Hemingway was directed at William Faulkner, who actually did use a lot of flowery language...and was a Nobel Laureate and someone who was admired by Hemingway. Hemingway's admiration toward Faulkner was also related to a fierce and occasionally bitter rivalry toward the same man, therefore the insult.

Would you say that William Faulkner did not have valid ideas because of the fact that his language was more elaborate?

Or should I, being someone who, like Faulkner, uses more elaborate language, believe that Hemingway's ideas must be somehow less worthwhile?

Quote:
None of it was directed at any particular person or group or cognitive difficulty.
Neither the hyperlexia nor the hypergraphia are difficulties unto themselves, but they are idiosyncrasies in how I communicate. I just identified the accompanying neurological consequences that are associated with them.

There are some people who go through life believing that I use the kind of language that I use in order to try to dazzle people. I do not. I use the kind of language that I use because it happens that I like it.

Unfortunately, some people would think that there must be some kind of communist plot if you don't prefer the same flavor of pudding as they do.



kicker
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03 Dec 2014, 2:53 pm

dianthus wrote:
kicker wrote:
I also stated that they were rules/guidelines I live by...


Just to be clear I was referring to the forum rules, not your rules.


I didn't think you were. :D



btbnnyr
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03 Dec 2014, 2:55 pm

I think that people should communicate on wp in a way that feels natural to them.


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kicker
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03 Dec 2014, 3:04 pm

Persimmonpudding wrote:
kicker wrote:
Btw all the things I said are common quotes, common sense, words of wisdom stuff. Mark Twain, Earnist Hemingway in specific for the ten dollar words.
The quotation by Hemingway was directed at William Faulkner, who actually did use a lot of flowery language...and was a Nobel Laureate and someone who was admired by Hemingway. Hemingway's admiration toward Faulkner was also related to a fierce and occasionally bitter rivalry toward the same man, therefore the insult.

Would you say that William Faulkner did not have valid ideas because of the fact that his language was more elaborate?

Or should I, being someone who, like Faulkner, uses more elaborate language, believe that Hemingway's ideas must be somehow less worthwhile?

Quote:
None of it was directed at any particular person or group or cognitive difficulty.
Neither the hyperlexia nor the hypergraphia are difficulties unto themselves, but they are idiosyncrasies in how I communicate. I just identified the accompanying neurological consequences that are associated with them.

There are some people who go through life believing that I use the kind of language that I use in order to try to dazzle people. I do not. I use the kind of language that I use because it happens that I like it.

Unfortunately, some people would think that there must be some kind of communist plot if you don't prefer the same flavor of pudding as they do.


I have already expressed how I intended it and in no way shape or form am going to argue over it. You are free to draw your own conclusions. I realize you are sensitive to the subject and probably have had many people treat you poorly for it so I can understand your need to defend your stance.



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03 Dec 2014, 4:51 pm

kicker wrote:
I have already expressed how I intended it and in no way shape or form am going to argue over it. You are free to draw your own conclusions. I realize you are sensitive to the subject and probably have had many people treat you poorly for it so I can understand your need to defend your stance.
Well, I still think it's important to raise awareness on the general topic. There are many behavioral tendencies that are innate, and there are a lot of things that seem positive but come with trade-offs. For instance, a lot of people with hyperlexia have difficulty with sensory integration and verbal communication, like I always have. It's easy to mistake these behaviors as attempts to dazzle others or to "look smart" or something like that. No. I'm not here at this end holding the belief that this makes me somehow intellectually or morally superior to others. I'm intellectually superior to others for completely unrelated reasons *wink-wink*. I am perfectly aware that many people who never develop strong verbal skills--or just prefer, as a matter of personal comfort, operating with a more condensed vocabulary and pithier language--may have highly advanced development in other areas, or they might even have a highly developed mastery of certain uses of language. In the end, there is no other way of handling it than to just try to learn a tolerance for people's individual differences.



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03 Dec 2014, 4:59 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
I think that people should communicate on wp in a way that feels natural to them.



I think so too. This should be one place where people don't have to worry so much about how they communicate and the assumption should be to not take offense. And really, taking offense is pretty tiring.

I've been on the receiving end of something I said taken offensively here and it made me feel awful. What I said wasn't meant to be offensive in anyway and yet somehow it was.



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03 Dec 2014, 6:48 pm

Fnord wrote:
I should report everyone on this website for failing to be supportive of me. Where were they when I was homeless? Where were they when I needed a home, a job, food, clothing, or just a friend? Where are they now when I need just a little encouragement and affirmation? NOWHERE, that's where! I had to get up and out of the gutter all by myself, and without any help from anyone here.

I work at a job that requires me to be sociable to a bunch of testosterone-poisoned modern-day Neanderthals who think that anyone with a handicap or disability is less than a man, and that any man who feels physical pain or depression is a "p****". I drive 30 miles one-way during my commute on crowded freeways during rush-hour traffic filled with people who seem hell-bent on taking me out of the gene pool. But does anyone on WP give a damn? NO!

Thus, if failing to be supportive is a reportable offense, then I should report every member and mod of Wrong Planet for not being supportive of ME.

It's only fair, right?


Spot on post.

It's easy to talk about "support", but support is just a word. There's a homeless guy on WP at the moment - hardly anyone replies to his posts. WP's support forum - The Haven - is half dead. The people who talk the most about support often seem to be the least likely to dole it out.

There are, of course, many exceptions. I have a friend who took in a homeless teenage girl a couple of years; the girl, not surprisingly, is troubled and needs a lot of support. I think my friend is amazing for doing that.

If "support" is a synonym for talking at length about your personal experiences, then be my guest: I have absolutely no problems with that.



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03 Dec 2014, 6:56 pm

I absolutely agree with BTBNNYR.

People should communicate in a manner in which they feel comfortable--most definitely.