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MatchingBlues
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06 Dec 2014, 12:19 am

sometimes, do you hate yourself so much that you have self-injurious thoughts?

what exactly do you do to address that, other than meds and a doctor?



Sweetleaf
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06 Dec 2014, 1:20 am

MatchingBlues wrote:
sometimes, do you hate yourself so much that you have self-injurious thoughts?

what exactly do you do to address that, other than meds and a doctor?


Well I have been suicidal multiple times...the meds they have prescribed me for depression don't really work. So admittedly I either resort to drugs or whatever distractions I can manage to distract myself with.


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andrethemoogle
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06 Dec 2014, 1:45 am

When I have a meltdown I start hitting myself, pinching myself and biting my hands.



dinetahrisingsun
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06 Dec 2014, 5:36 am

This happens to me often, i think about all i'd like from life that i haven't gotten to see or do yet and things I'd like to experience in this lifetime. And I watch TV and movies. That helps me a lot. Hopefully someone can find this useful. Sometimes i simply concentrate on the material items i enjoy, good memories, and the reasons i still want to be here.


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r2d2
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06 Dec 2014, 6:36 am

I most certainly did when I was younger - at least up into my mid-20's maybe even into my early 30's. I guess at some point I decided that I am what I am and that's all that I am.


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AspieOtaku
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06 Dec 2014, 2:14 pm

Quite often, I self harm at times not as often as I used to though but I do consider myself as a constant failure and will never be normal and hate myself for it.


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Orangez
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06 Dec 2014, 4:55 pm

I quite often think of very grandiose plans which always ends up with my death. Thus, I am slowly trying to kill my emotional self as it is my self that holds me down. I wish to become a complete rational being that has reject useless ideas such as morality.



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06 Dec 2014, 9:32 pm

Yes, pretty frequently. I don't know how to help it, and sometimes I act on my thoughts and hurt myself. Afterwards I feel better.

I have a lot of mood swings, so maybe I do need medication. I just really don't like taking medication :|


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06 Dec 2014, 9:44 pm

Yes. My self hatred seems to have peaked this year and I have had frequent incidents of self harming as a result of my rage at myself to a degree I have come to fear my own company. I seem to get fits of irritability and anger rising up at times, for no apparent reason and I seem to automatically turn it on myself. I become consumed by feelings of being worthless, useless, a failure, defective and generally a waste of space. I have yet to find a solution but grow tired of constant bruises on my face from hitting myself. I do not feel better afterwards but it reduces the pressure inside, the anger.


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yournamehere
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06 Dec 2014, 10:14 pm

I don't need to think about self harm. I am a mechanic. You should try it. It happens on its own just from working. I did it today. My back feels like it is sunburned. I must have done 2000 crunches. My hands look like a self inflicted road map. They are desensitized. Doctors take x-rays, and they know I'm a mechanic. Bone chips everywhere. I have had my fingernails ripped off, and smashed multiple times. Shrapnel, stitches, pieces of metal taken out of my eyeballs, golfers, and tennis elbow in both arms, tissue damage, broken fingers, had to see a finger specialist for one of the when I was a child. It was mangled. Once in a while I hate. It was worse when I was younger.

I LOVE MYSELF!! !! !



L_Holmes
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06 Dec 2014, 11:31 pm

yournamehere wrote:
I don't need to think about self harm. I am a mechanic. You should try it. It happens on its own just from working. I did it today. My back feels like it is sunburned. I must have done 2000 crunches. My hands look like a self inflicted road map. They are desensitized. Doctors take x-rays, and they know I'm a mechanic. Bone chips everywhere. I have had my fingernails ripped off, and smashed multiple times. Shrapnel, stitches, pieces of metal taken out of my eyeballs, golfers, and tennis elbow in both arms, tissue damage, broken fingers, had to see a finger specialist for one of the when I was a child. It was mangled.


I think I'll go ahead and take "mechanic" off my list of possible future career choices :lol:


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ksf777
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06 Dec 2014, 11:51 pm

"He who despises himself,nevertheless esteems himself thereby ,as a despiser."-Nietzsche



yournamehere
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06 Dec 2014, 11:55 pm

L_Holmes wrote:
yournamehere wrote:
I don't need to think about self harm. I am a mechanic. You should try it. It happens on its own just from working. I did it today. My back feels like it is sunburned. I must have done 2000 crunches. My hands look like a self inflicted road map. They are desensitized. Doctors take x-rays, and they know I'm a mechanic. Bone chips everywhere. I have had my fingernails ripped off, and smashed multiple times. Shrapnel, stitches, pieces of metal taken out of my eyeballs, golfers, and tennis elbow in both arms, tissue damage, broken fingers, had to see a finger specialist for one of the when I was a child. It was mangled.


I think I'll go ahead and take "mechanic" off my list of possible future career choices :lol:


I'm saving the world one car at a time. :lol: Saving lives has its costs. That I know I have done. I would not recommend doing it for a living to anyone. It was a good hobby.



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07 Dec 2014, 1:58 am

I read "Feeling Good" and put myself through written CBT. I learned a bunch, but it didn't work per say.. as I took the depression tests my depression got worse, not better. Then I figured out it was due to salicylate acid sensitivity. Many of the foods I was eating and products I was using on my skin etc were poisoning me. I detoxed the acids and those sorts of thoughts, along with the worst depression of my life that lasted for 5 months, and sky high anxiety & audio sensitivity, executive brain function issues.. all of those things cleared up dramatically in the first 5 days, then continued to improve over the next few months. The solution was to stop consuming them for months while using an epsom salt lotion every day in order to absorb the minerals required to enable the body to urinate out excess acids. I've read that 70% of people on the autism spectrum are sensitive to salicylate acids. Try soaking your feet in hot water saturated with epsom salts and see if you feel any better - if so, you may have the same biochemical solution I've experienced great results with.


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07 Dec 2014, 7:30 am

Distraction works best.. whenever I feel that way I just distract myself with the few things I actually do enjoy in life.


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