Do I have schizotypal disorder or even schizophrenia?

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the assassin stuff sounds like an interesting alliterative coincidence

I checked 122 films from Colonel RPG YouTube channel containing gameplay from Fallout of Nevada to find all special encounters with little green circle on the map. It lasted about 2 hours. In five films there were such encounters:
- #31 - 'Dear John',
- #54 - Big Hole,
- #82 - 'Next',
- #112 - Big Hole (again),
- #114 - Big Hole (third time).

There were only 3 special encounters with green circle in entire gameplay. 'Dear John', 'Next', Big Hole.

Some time ago I noticed two sets of numbers which I named "miraculous quintets". One of such a quintet is five-membered arithmetic sequence with first term 3 and common difference 4. It is: 3, 7, 11, 15, 19.

In the game there were four locations marked by large green circles: New Reno, Wind of War, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City (which is in Utah, not Nevada, but also occurred in the game). I saw interesting dependencies associated with names of the special locations:
1. There are 19 letters in all names of special encounters together. 19 is last (the largest) number in quintet mentioned earlier.
2. There are 3 special encounters with green circle in the gameplay and 3 is first (the smallest) number in quintet mentioned earlier.
3. There are 5 words in the names together and 5 is the number of numbers in the quintet.
4. Most of words in the names of special locations are four-letter (Dear, John, Next, Hole) and there are four such words! 4 is the common difference of the sequence 3, 7, 11, 15, 19.

I may think that these encounters occurred because of me and they are result of craftiness of satan who want to use me to destroy certain religion.

^ Not an expert but that seems like schizotypal thinking to me. I have intense spiritual experiences, and have to discipline myself to not let it cross over into 'magical thinking'.

there are some here who can't tell the difference between spiritual experiences and magical thinking. on a spectrum of mental types, i wonder how that relates to schizophrenia? does that mean the opposite of schizophrenia, or something else?

That's a good question. There's so much overlap in all of this (and ASD technically rules out Schizoid and Schizotypal - though they are considered to be on the Schizophrenia spectrum... It's confusing!)

And I agree it's hard to know where to draw the line between a 'spiritual experience' and 'magical thinking'. That's a grey area for me, and I handle it by asking myself - does this belief help me to function better, and feel happier about my life, or does it cause me distress, and make me dysfunctional?

I figure, if you can't be certain what's real or not, go with what is 'adaptive' vs. 'maladaptive'.

i remember reading [as best as a little kid can read] my school shrink's notes when he left the room, and the words "schizotypal" and "schizoid" were in his notes in several places. those two words stuck in my memory all these decades since then. of course, i was dx'ed AS in 2003 or so. so i am wondering if the shrinks knew about AS back in the 60s, if they would have said that or autism instead? or if i am really schizoid? i also remember reading about schizotypal autism, whose list of deficits seemed to match my own.

From what my therapists have said, it sounds like it's a tough call for them as well. (In fact in my last session, my therapist said she's coming to suspect Schizoid/Schizotypal rather than ASD after all... Why, I'm not exactly certain?)

The diagnostic labels have gone through so many changes over the course of our lifetime, it's definitely confusing.

the reason i believe schizoid and AS belong together on either end of a spectrum, has to do with the fact that the former is a function of too much developmental stage neural pruning, while the latter is the function of too little neural pruning. autistic brain is literally [neuronally speaking] musclebound, can't get out of its own way, while the schizoid brain gets lost in all the empty rooms [not enough neurons to form enough effective circuits connected to one another].

I've been reading more about this, and I seem to be split 50/50 between ASD and schizoid traits. (And apparently you can be considered to have both, even though the DSM rules it out.) I find it helps me to cope better, to understand the nuances of my diagnosis, and that I have strong Schizoid & Schizotypal tendencies I need to be aware of.

Fallout of Nevada starts inside the big hole mentioned by a character named Lydia in Fallout 2 (she may use the phrase "big hole" in conversation), that hole is the entrance to Vault 8. Gameplay of Colonel RPG ends also inside the big hole! Big Hole coincidence is amazing!

Film #114 on Colonel's RPG channel is entitled "Ares that are so easy (for me) to miss". The title starts on "A" and ends on "s". In that film player encountered Big Hole third (and last) time in gameplay! During Big Hole encounter the word "as" regularly popped up.

First word is very coincident:
- by swapping two letters in it we will receive impolite word for anus or buttocks in British English,
- the word "Ares" starts on "A" and ends on "s" and "as" is the word with pops up during the encounter,
- the word "anus" is four-lettered and has "a" at the beginning and "s" at the end, like "Ares" and the Big Hole is anus of nitrogen-based alien lifeform!

I think that "schizoid disorder of childhood" is not a personality disorder, but a form of autism. If someone has marked schizoid traits in childhood (lack of need of being loved or accepted, disinterest in making friends and having colleagues), he or she is in some way autistic in my opinion.

11.11.2019 I typed in Google phrase koran ostateczny wróg which means "Quran ultimate enemy" without quotation marks, and first link in results was to a film (with window). The content of that link was: Ben 10 - Ultimatum Obcych - 51 - Wróg Ostateczny Część 1 ("Ben 10 - Aliens' ultimatum - 51 - Ultimate Enemy Part 1").

Earlier the same day I saw in the Internet (YouTube) link film #59 in let's play to Fallout: Nevada on Colonel RPG channel, where in the title there was the text "No trespassing in Area 51". Even earlier, very probably also 11.11.2019, I heard music from series ... Ben 10 from my sister's room! In location Area 51 in Fallout: Nevada there were many creatures named as "aliens". 51, aliens, Ben 10 - coincidence.

The date is very interesting, it is the only in 2019, which has five digits "1" in it.

5 digits "1" are also associated with certain dependency in Arabic text of the Quran - I read the text in which there were mentioned numbers of words in groups of chapters from that book where the groups have 11 (longest), 11 (shortest) and 1 ("middle") chapters. In numbers: 11, 11, 1 we have five digits "1"! 5 and 1 - 51. Number 51 is the key for that coincidence. In date 11.11.2019 there are two numbers 11 and in the number meaning year there is one digit 1. Again two "11" and one "1"!

Next sign from supernatural beings?

No, you don’t have schizophrenia, what you have is classic magical thinking which is a symptom of OCD. In my case, I have OCD, but due to a very, very traumatic life, and my living situation is still very toxic, that I dissociate frequently with daydreams.

OCD thoughts are unpleasant and my coincidences are pleasant and fascinating. A psychiatrist once wrote that my coincidences are magical thinking. In addition, I am very poor in money-earning, job skills. People with pure OCD should be rather more developed occupationally than I.

Let's look at numbers: 10, 51, 1:
- sum of first digits in these numbers is 7 (1+5+1),
- sum of second digits in these numbers is 1 (0+1, number 1 is one-digit and has no second digit),
- sum of last digits in these numbers is 2 (0+1+1, last digit in number 1 is the same as first one because it is one-digit number).
We received digits: 7, 1, 2 - 21.7 can be formed by these digits!

There is something interesting associated with 11.11.2019 and 11, 11, 1 and "giant egg" (5, 23, 421). Sum of numbers in the date 11.11.2019 is 2041 (11+11+2019), the number 2041 has sum of digits 7 and phrase 12 4 can be formed from three of four its digits. Phrase "12 4" can be also formed by digits of number 421.

Sum of digits in 11, 11, 1 is 5 and sum of numbers 11, 11, 1 is 23! 5 and 23 are additive Thabit primes and two smaller numbers of "giant egg"!

^^^even though i am somewhat innumerate, now and then when i'm in a mathematical mood i will add up the numbers on my digital alarm clock and see the symmetries involved.

I noticed something associated with numbers 11, 13, 23 (sums of digits in numbers of words in groups of Quran chapters which chapters have prime numbers as numbers of words in them - 10037 (11 longest), 337 (1 "middle"), 797 (11 shortest)). We have numbers: 11, 1, 11 here.

But let's talk about 11, 13, 23:
1. Sums of digits in these numbers are: 2, 4, 5. Concatenation of these three numbers will give 245. 245 is divisible by 7.
2. First digits in 11, 13, 23 are: 1, 1, 2. They form number 112 if concatenated. 112 is divisible by 7 (7x16).
3. Second digits in numbers: 11, 13, 23 are: 1, 3, 3. They form number 133 if concatenated. 133 is divisible by 7 (7x19).
4. Difference between 133 (larger number) and 112 (smaller number) is 21. 21 = 7x3.
5. Difference between product of digits in number 133 and product of digits in number 112 is... 7!
1x3x3 = 9
1x1x2 = 2
9-2 = 7