Most wrenching period for an aspie

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High school was a nightmare. It was made even worse by the fact that I grew up in a dirt poor hillbilly redneck town. Once I left that crap hole things improved a little. It wasn't until my late 30's that things really took a turn for the better. My AS has proven to be a very beneficial and powerful asset in recent years.

I voted for "Birth to Elementary School" because kindergarten was a hell, I didn't have friends. And first grade of elementary school was traumatic.

I'd say middle or high school (15-18 years of age). This must be a tough time for most people, not just those with ASDs. Due to having had an accelerated home education, I didn't have some of the problems many teenagers face, like bullying, being part of a clique or group, and generally trying to fit into an envirnment which is extremely reluctant to accept those that are "different". This is one of the things that makes me thankful for having studied at home. Still, I was an enormous mess, acted more out of it than usual without noticing it, and didn't know whether I was coming or going most of the time. And there was an intensity to what I felt which could become almost unbearable at times.

I wouldn't say childhood is necessarily a good time either. Feeling that you are owned by someone else and they are in complete control of your life is just not nice.

Hello,

Getting out of that hell called "Public school" was a godsend. I failed out of college when I tried right after high school.

Never had a problem with the work, I could not handle all of the people (200-300 for some freshmen classes).

I went back to college at 33 and loved it. I had grown more confident and better able to handle people in the interveigning years.

I was always picked on in public school and always at the principles for fighting. F%#K School.

It was horrible.

crazedchef

I'd say each of those chapters in my own life has had its own brands of challenges in the social aspects so I didn't vote specifically on any but I will tell you what each one came with:


Birth through elementary school:
I once asked my mother: "why am I so different from everybody else?" All she could answer to that was: "because you're special", although it did'nt answer my Q. I got teased, picked-on, and beat up a lot.

Middle school:
I wrote a poem in French about it. It is titled "Septembre" It was like living in a concentration camp without the barbwire fences. I lived every day with threats and intimidation and after hours, I was stalked and got prank phone calls.

High School:
Much like middle school except I lived within walking distance and didn't have to share that school bus full of strange wildlife The prank phone calls and the stalking continued, though. OTOH, puberty and that teenage chemistry that came with it was torture.

College Age:
Nowhere near as extreme as middle or high school but a lot of issues still followed me like a Siamese twin. I still seemed to stick out like a sore thumb in being different from everyone else. A group of 5 classmates followed me through the hallways, clipping my heels as I walked, and snatching coins from me as I tried to put them in vending machines.

Post college / Thirty Something:
I was hated like poison in workplaces and got fired quite a few times. The only jobs I could get were in sweat shops that paid slave wages, never offered any raises or promotions, and never recognized their employees' contributions to their success.

Middle Age:
Nervous breakdown at 42. I pressed for and got formally Dx'ed. Aha! Now we have a name and a face to this thing. Work-wise I'm still stuck in the sweat shop rut.

In order of most wrenching to least wrenching:

Birth through elementary school. I had a lot of behavioral problems as a child, and the teachers and students and my parents really weren't making the situation any better, at least that's how I perceived it. At one point, things got so bad that I actually had to be put into my own class for two months. But during the last 2 or 3 years of elementary school, I had a few friends and I was having fun.

High school. I was doing well in school but I was feeling very socially disconnected, I didn't have any real friends. Just the ones that would say "hi, how's it going" when they walked past me in the hallways, but I never had any close friends in high school.

Junior high school (these days I think it's known as Middle School). At first I was feeling intimidated by the fact that I was no longer in elementary school. I had a couple of friends and a few bullies. Verbal bullies, not physical ones. By the end of junior high, I had about 8 close friends (which was the most I've ever had at school). I never kept in touch with them after that, and I didn't see most of them in high school.

College. These days I feel that I have more freedom and more maturity. I've learned to forgive people who I once hated, and in fact one of them is now a close friend and we email each other from time to time. I've never felt disrespected by any of the other students at my college. I get along with them pretty well. Also I've posted on a lot of internet forums and have made a lot of internet friends.

I'd say that elementary school and the first year of middle school were the worst as I wore glasses to fix the strabismus or lazy left eye, and got braces in the 6th grade. It wasn't until I moved at the end of the 7th grade that the bullying stopped. I was able to go to a completely different middle school and high school where I made friends in the band and orchestra.

Things really got better in college as people are more mature and are accepting of people who are different than they are. For me, life is a lot better as an adult, and should continue to improve the older I get. What I found to be interesting is that in college, a former bully actually apologized for how he treated me back in elementary school. It took me a long time to remember who he was, as I'd put that stuff behind me and moved on.

To be honest I considered adding an option past middle age but it was just inconcievable to me that life could get WORSE then... among other things, I don't want to look forward to experiencing that. But w/e, I'll take your word for it... unfortunately it won't let me add another option now.

Mine was definitely middle school by far, especially eighth grade. I didn't have many friends, tons of bullies were constantly harrassing me and beating me up, and they never got in trouble. But guess who did? Me! Every time. Ninth grade wasn't all that great either, but at least I had a lot of friends that year. Tenth grade I moved and I had no friends at all, but a bunch of gossipy enemies. Ugh! Now, as a senior, it's not that bad except for stupid immature little freshmen. But other than that, I have no enemies and a lot of friends.

Middle school and high school were pretty bad, but at least I think that I had some hope then. College was great fun (even though I didn't do well), and after a couple of stormy interludes, everything settled down. Then, my wife kicked me out, and it's been hell. I see no chance of re-attaining the comfort and happiness that I had. I'm not sure it's worth trying.

It was for sure going from 8th grade into Freshman highschool. I had such high anxiety I was farily mute for six months. I couldn't figure out why others couldn't see my hysteria, it seemed to be beaming from my eyes.
After high school I flunked out of Freshman college because I was so depressed. (that is better than anxiety!)
That January of 1971 I was drafted (Vietnam!) joined US Air Force instead and had 4 wonderful years! I had the rules in writing and I had a schedule and stripes on my arm to show my status in that society. Sometimes I wonder if I should have stayed there - wanted to be a graphic designer and they would not let me transfer.

Cheers
Don

I always thought that the army might be the best place for me. The regimented lifestyle and all. BUT, I was always afraid that I'd just tell them to go to hell someday, and get locked up for it.

It's almost a tie between "birth - elementary" and "middle school," but I voted "Middle School." I know all the people who weren't popular say that High School is absolute hell, but I think Middle School was so much worse.

Middle School is the point where social things, how you dress, and just being "in" on all the "cool things" become really important (especially for girls). That was also the point at which I was still just trying and trying and trying so very hard, and I seemed like I was always still lost and not making any headway at all. By the time I got to high school, I had come to the realization "I'm just not like the other kids, and they just don't like me. Oh well." At that point, I just stopped trying to be something that I wasn't and started enjoying my solitary lifestyle.

Middle school to high school equally but did first become aware of it at elementary or early primary school