Men are not objects
The title is just a joke haha
There's a girl at uni who may be interested in me. I've been analysing various things and the most convincing piece of evidence is the fact that she keeps looking at me during class. Not really sure what to do because if im wrong and ive misinterpreted things it's going to make uni life extremely socially awkward (As if it weren't awkward enough already hah)
Its obvious that I should "just speak to her" but I have no idea what i'd say and I really dont even have any pretext I can use. I really dont have the energy to be involved with anyone at the moment either so i'd much rather just have her as a friend.
So yeah maybe an fb add?
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And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3
RetroGamer87
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Age: 36
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Location: Adelaide, Australia
I dont really talk to her at all. That is in fact gross exaggeration. I think ive spoken to her three times maybe in so many years. Also she is part of the in crowd I think. Every social environment has one and she is on friendly terms with them. They dont like me all that much. That's the way I like it too
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My history on this forum preserves my old and unregenerate self. In the years since I posted here I have undergone many changes. I accept responsibility for my posts but I no longer stand behind them.
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And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3
Since you don't really talk to her, and you ask maybe you should add her on fb, I will just say no to that question and here is why (and assuming the person is mature):
Most socially mature people don't like people they don't talk to adding them on Facebook or messaging them out of nowhere. It doesn't really matter if they know of the person or see them around in classes or in a group setting every here and there.
I also help organize a meetup group in my area and I had to remove one person from my meetup group for trying to contact people on social media such as Facebook without even talking to them face to face. The reason he got banned was not because of that, it was because he got blocked and then would contact them through another website he found them on. I gave him an opportunity to come speak to me in person (I can be very direct and it comes across much better if done face to face), but he didn't take the chance. He then proceeded to message me on Facebook without asking me for my Facebook as well. I knew then what I wanted to say, but chose restraint because walls of text can be taken out of context very easily.
Moral of the story- if you want to add someone on Facebook or contact them by phone, it might be in the best interest of both of you if you are able to ask them directly to their face.
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Yeah we are and if we say we aren't were labeled as mysogynists! After all all we are are sperm doners they have no need for us after that, we are useless, we have no purpose!
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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
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The_Face_of_Boo
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You must have a great sense of purpose
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And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
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When women hunt for a man, they only want one thing. Children. All they think about is "Would he make a good father?", "Would he make a good provider?", "Is he fertile?", "Does he have life insurance?", "does he make enough money to send the kids to college?"
Well what if I don't want to have kids? What if I don't get on with kids all that well? They always ask what my job is (too see how rich I am). When women oggle me, all they see is a walking sperm donor, a walking checkbook. I feel so objectified when they do that. They don't want to know the real me, they just want to feel my big wallet and perv at my bank statements.
/sarcasm
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The days are long, but the years are short
Well what if I don't want to have kids? What if I don't get on with kids all that well? They always ask what my job is (too see how rich I am). When women oggle me, all they see is a walking sperm donor, a walking checkbook. I feel so objectified when they do that. They don't want to know the real me, they just want to feel my big wallet and perv at my bank statements.
/sarcasm
"Let's get fiscal, fiscal"
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My history on this forum preserves my old and unregenerate self. In the years since I posted here I have undergone many changes. I accept responsibility for my posts but I no longer stand behind them.
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And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3
well, you are in the same class, that helps a bit.
you could use the pretext that you missed the homework and ask her what you were supposed to be doing; perhaps follow-up with the offer to do the work together (in the uni library if you feel like you need a neutral place).
this is safe, non-threatening and gives you an easy out if you interpreted the signals wrongly
Well what if I don't want to have kids? What if I don't get on with kids all that well? They always ask what my job is (too see how rich I am). When women oggle me, all they see is a walking sperm donor, a walking checkbook. I feel so objectified when they do that. They don't want to know the real me, they just want to feel my big wallet and perv at my bank statements.
/sarcasm
Thank god for the /sarcasm, my blood was already boiling and I hadn't made it that far
Either way, if you acknowledge you're not seeking anything serious, it shouldn't hurt to do what you said and "just talk to her" but I think the only advice I can give is don't force the situation.. find a time and place where you can speak to her naturally about something unrelated to trying to be her friend. Just talk, laugh, enjoy each other's company in class somehow. Break the ice, I guess they say.
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Anyone else have suggestions? Appreciate the workings of the group mind here
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My history on this forum preserves my old and unregenerate self. In the years since I posted here I have undergone many changes. I accept responsibility for my posts but I no longer stand behind them.
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And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3
I would suggest trying to start a conversation with her related to class - maybe start with a single comment and work up to more. To go from no talking to asking out on a date could be awkward, but you could make a passing comment - "Man the prof was in a bad mood today" - and then build from there next time. Looking at you frequently could mean she likes you or could mean you've got your shirt on inside-out - don't know till you talk to her some. So, I'd try to start conversation and then go from there.
That being said, when I was at uni, people would add anyone they'd seen on Facebook and no one thought it was weird or creepy, so I think adding on Facebook could be OK, especially if you sneak in a couple random comments in person first.
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Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
I think you MUST talk to her in person before adding her on Facebook. A random add from guy who sits across the room but won't make eye contact with you is pretty creepy.
You're both taking the same class, it should be easy to come up with some excuse to start a conversation about it - "man this week's homework was rough" "how are you feeling about the test?" "Thank god it's almost winter break!"
Important to note that you shouldn't stand up, walk across the classroom to her and then say that. Well, maybe you could, but at least I'm probably too awkward to make that work. I think it's better to casually, "randomly" happen to be near her and then lead with a line like that.
For instance, everyone is standing around outside the classroom waiting for the teacher to show up. You "just so happen to be" standing across from her, your eyes meet, you say "ugh, that homework took forever!" Or whatever.