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Meekaraccoon
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22 Dec 2014, 8:36 am

Does anyone else get obsessed with a person they are attracted to? I wish I could stop this! It's freaking the said person out! They have started avoiding me now.



kraftiekortie
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22 Dec 2014, 8:43 am

That happened to me a couple of times in my early 20s. There was no internet then, of course (fortunately for me, probably).

The hurt caused by my obsessions caused me to stop being obsessive by my later 20s. It just wasn't worth it.



Meekaraccoon
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22 Dec 2014, 8:48 am

The annoying part is he hasn't said to me directly in text or anything that he isn't interested in me! I blurted out to him when I was drunk I was attracted to him! He is also aspie. It's causing me to much stress and anxiety so need to find a way to stop this.



kraftiekortie
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22 Dec 2014, 8:54 am

Are you Aspie as well?

If you're attracted to him, don't tell him that directly--but maybe ask him out for coffee or something.

Don't take him up to your apartment/home until you feel you could trust him.



Meekaraccoon
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22 Dec 2014, 9:00 am

Yes i am an undiagnosed aspie I took the text also which someone from the general forum area linked me to if you want to see the results! Anyway he is a friends son! He Has been doing a lot of work for me on my house ect. Very complex. Every time I have got drunk I have blurted out crap lol.



kraftiekortie
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22 Dec 2014, 9:09 am

LOL..I don't care if you're Aspie or not. This site is for people who want to advance the cause of Asperger's/Autism, not merely those who are Aspergian/Autistic.

I actually think it's cool that an older woman is attracted to a younger guy. But be careful about alienating your friend!

When I was younger, I was attracted to older woman (I'm almost 54 now)....Ever see the movie "Summer of 1942?" That woman was my idol!



Meekaraccoon
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22 Dec 2014, 9:18 am

To be fair it's the first time this has happened to me!



kraftiekortie
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22 Dec 2014, 9:27 am

LOL...count yourself lucky :wink:

There was also this Julie Andrews movie, done in the 1990s (I believe) where this was addressed. The difference: the older woman had multiple schlerosis. She had a crush on a younger guy who fixed stuff around her house. She was some kind of famous musician.

I truly hope all goes well with this situation. I'm rooting for you!



kraftiekortie
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22 Dec 2014, 10:08 am

Seriously.....I hope you don't go too far with this obsession.



Syd
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22 Dec 2014, 11:56 am

If he hasn't shown any interest in you, it's best to let it go.

I know you will just ignore what I say and probably pursue him anyway, so you will have to learn a lesson the hard way.



Meekaraccoon
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22 Dec 2014, 12:42 pm

You are correct. He would have shown something by now. Time to let go.



DeeDee327
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22 Dec 2014, 3:27 pm

I feel your pain! I used to be terrible about this when I was younger, and I always described it as "intense longing, but very painful". Like it actually hurt physically to not be with or near the person. I was so bad I would get obsessed with famous people as well as "real" people, :wink:
The tendency to feel this way has slackened off the older I get and it's almost gone now. But I do remember it well, and sometimes certain songs or smells remind me of a past "phase" (as I used to call them), and I will still get a twinge of sadness or longing, but it passes. Good luck! :jester:


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22 Dec 2014, 6:06 pm

Yes, I've been obsessed with a couple of people over the years. Sorting out "being obsessed with" and "being in love with" has taken a shockingly long time. I certainly have been physically attracted to these people. I have also felt profoundly envious of their physical appearance and of their social skills - they were both massively popular with the opposite sex. It's all rather complicated.

Both cases were unrequited love set ups and I do hope that I have not revealed my obsession to either of them. I have always considered their feelings first and I do hope that I have not made them feel bad or uncomfortable in any way. I do hope that if they think of me at all that they think "oh yeah, I remember him - he was quite a nice quy".

Did it hurt? Oh God yes, it hurt like absolute ****ing Hell. Don't get into this situation if you can avoid it.



em_tsuj
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22 Dec 2014, 10:36 pm

I am like this. i have learned through acting on my obsessions not to entertain these thoughts too long. It doesn't go away. I just don't act on it. I wish I didn't attach to people this way.



Butterfiend
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24 Dec 2014, 1:50 am

I'm going through something similar to this. I dated this NT girl for a while and she for some reason stopped wanting to see me. I feel maybe she was picking up my insane obsession for her. This was 4 months ago but I still feel terribly obsessed with her and ot won't go away. I miss her so much. :cry:


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 151 of 200
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You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

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