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RikkiK
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01 Jan 2015, 10:12 pm

Thanks for the feedback! I feel so stupid :/

A side note, should I try to see him again? I think I efectively killed his interest in me, but idk is there any way I can respark it? I've consider just giving him a call or text with something like "I happen to be going to such-and-such, care to join?", as if some extra bold move would make me interesting again...I was really starting to like him.



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02 Jan 2015, 12:18 am

Aspie1 wrote:
Hugs definitely have subtext. A lot of it is in the hands. (In this post, I'll focus on romantic and friendly hugs, between guys and girls in particular, leaving out hugs between family members and those exchanged at funerals.) The key thing to watch out for is what the girl does with her hands (and the guy, to a lesser extent).

THE RUB
This a great sign. It's when the girl lightly rubs the guy's back during the hug. This is a way of showing affection that's usually romantic, although it may not be so. The Rub is not like a massage; it's more like how you'd pet your dog while roughhousing with him/her. The more coverage area during the rub, the stronger the interest level.

THE HAND PRESS
This a good, but mostly friendly sign. It's when the girl presses her hands into the guy's upper back, while taking some care not to let the bodies get too close. It means "you're a good guy (not the same as nice guy), and I like being around you". The Hand Press hugs are usually very short, because they're meant to be strictly friendly.
COROLLARY: Sometimes they'd be accompanied by exaggerated rocking side-to-side, almost like a dance. This is similar to the Body Press rocking, but is meant to be campy, rather than affectionate.

THE BODY PRESS
Totally awesome!! ! It's when the girl presses her body into yours while hugging the guy, often being oblivious of her breasts digging into his chest, or knowing and not caring. This is a strong, although not 100% guaranteed, sign of romantic interest, because it's quite intimate. In some cases, it will be accompanied to gentle rocking side-to-side, as if rocking each other to sleep, due to level of comfort with each other.
One note of warning: drunk women will sometimes give Body Press hugs to guys the feel comfortable with but don't like romantically, due to losing body coordination, in which case, enjoy the closeness and don't push your luck.

THE PAT
Bad, bad, bad!! ! It's when the girl gives the guy light pats on the back during the hug. It can mean anything from "OK, this is just a hug; it felt good, but you can stop now!" to "ew, ew, ew!! !". It does double when stands far apart in an awkward A-frame. If you find yourself getting The Pat, stop the hug immediately, and don't try to hug her again.

THE REST
Neither good nor bad. This is when the girl simple rests her hands on the guy's back, for as long as the hug lasts. It's your all-around friendly hug. It's almost never meant to be romantic. I hug my female friends this way, as well as women I just met whose I felt comfortable with, while parting company. The Rest usually done when a handshake would be too unaffectionate, The Pat wouldn't fit the situation, and other types of hug are too romantic.


Holy Sh*t!! !!
I love the way you explain these things.... 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O

SO CLEAR!! !!
pls explain....well....everything :lol:


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02 Jan 2015, 12:25 am

RikkiK wrote:
Thanks for the feedback! I feel so stupid :/

A side note, should I try to see him again? I think I efectively killed his interest in me, but idk is there any way I can respark it? I've consider just giving him a call or text with something like "I happen to be going to such-and-such, care to join?", as if some extra bold move would make me interesting again...I was really starting to like him.


i do think you should.

Btw, he may have been nervous himself, during the date.
He may be too shy to ask for a 2nd date and may need a signal from you.


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Since the birth of civilization, small sets of dominant individuals have controlled the numerical majority. Even a cursory reading of world history will substantiate this claim. Kings, Pharaohs, Emperors, Sultans, Czars, and Dictators have imposed their will upon their subjects. This pattern has not changed over the millennia and it remains so, today. Our Masters rule over every nation and no one can defy them. They will attain Absolute Power as we reach the Singularity. All those who oppose their will, will be destroyed. Given the obvious futility, I will not resist. 2+2=5.


BeggingTurtle
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05 Jan 2015, 9:19 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
THE PAT
Bad, bad, bad!! ! It's when the girl gives the guy light pats on the back during the hug. It can mean anything from "OK, this is just a hug; it felt good, but you can stop now!" to "ew, ew, ew!! !". It does double when stands far apart in an awkward A-frame. If you find yourself getting The Pat, stop the hug immediately, and don't try to hug her again.

Uh oh. This is what my sister does to me when I hug her.


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Aspie1
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06 Jan 2015, 12:26 am

BeggingTurtle wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
THE PAT
Bad, bad, bad!! ! It's when the girl gives the guy light pats on the back during the hug. It can mean anything from "OK, this is just a hug; it felt good, but you can stop now!" to "ew, ew, ew!! !". It does double when stands far apart in an awkward A-frame. If you find yourself getting The Pat, stop the hug immediately, and don't try to hug her again.

Uh oh. This is what my sister does to me when I hug her.

You said "sister". My descriptions don't apply to hugs between family members, since every family has its own quirks and idiosyncrasies, which includes the way they hug. The Pat is only bad if it's done by a girl you're interested in.



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06 Jan 2015, 12:39 am

Anything can have subtext to it.


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RikkiK
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02 Feb 2015, 11:47 pm

update: we accidentally had a second date anyway. it was a group outing, and everyone else cancelled at the last second. I was calm and a bit chattier because I've pretty much abandoned any interest in him, but he was really nervous. He also kept using distinctly platonic terms, like "bro" and "dude", almost on purpose or as a nervous impulse. I think I make him uncomfortable now haha.



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03 Feb 2015, 12:16 am

I think hugs are often very meaningful, but I don't see why what you did would have scared him off. Insufficient data.



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03 Feb 2015, 6:15 am

I dunno.. a hug is a hug to me. It's either a good hug or a sidearm hug, that's the only difference. I think you're over-thinking it.


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