Autism and tempers

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Connection? It might make me feel better, knowing that my flying off the handle at work consistently has something to do with it.
I work in retail and my managers are always telling me to calm down (unless they know my condition and then they just let me flail my arms and go "whatthafuuuuuu******") but a couple times now I crossed the line and got talked to (no paper work, just stern voices)
I just wish I could be as calm as they are...

I have always had a bad temper as well. Getting better at controlling it. I think when I was a kid I had lots of anger, as I knew I was different than other kids and couldn't do things as well as they did, or be as popular as they were. There were some abuse issues involved as well. Now I get depressed as much as I get angry, not much of an improvement.

I don't know if it's that our tempers are worse, or that we have more to deal with. NTs don't have to live with the constant bombardment of sensory assaults on top of being perpetually confused by, and frequently yelled at, by other people, on top of being forced to suppress their natural way of being and moving just because it doesn't look "normal" to everyone else. If NTs had to deal with that all the time, they'd probably have meltdowns too.

I tend to have temper tantrums when things don't go as I planned or want, which is bad for someone of my age (almost 25).

My mood can change very rapidly, like multiple times within a minute.

No real temper problem here, but if I worked in retail I think there would be.

we aspies have a low frustration level, and our emotions run higher than neurotypicals. I had rage attacks myself, but i learned to control them by punching a punching bag as hard as i could, building up my rage, and then stopping when the instructor said stop. try it.

or sit on the couch alone and think about a situation that made you mad/anxious, build up your negative feelings, and then force yourself to relax by thinking about being on the beach or wherever it is you like to be. do it many times and get the feel of it. control over your emotions is at your fingertips.

This may sound strange, but I have adapted my temper to help fuel my creativity in my field. Being bullied as a kid by classmates, I was in a constant stage of rage and actively seeking revenge with any means possible on those who hurt me that way. Over a long period of time, I realized that rather than spending time/effort on creating revenge ideas with this energy, I could adapt that power into things that would make a more positive impact on the world. It was not easy thing to do.

When I am focused on my stuff, I become very terse when interupted. That means that I try to accommodate the other individual(s) interacting with me, but do so as efficiently and quickly as possible. This comes off to them as me being rude or angry when I am really just overwhelmed with added expectations. When they try to "calm" me (by telling me to calm down; gee, what subtlety), I lose it and explain that I was busy with other things (or had plans to do something other than what they suggest). In the workplace, my focus was actually seen as a benefit, but would backfire occasionally when plans or schedules changed. I would usually just shift into a Stepfordian-kind of autopilot mode and suspend my works or plans as briefly as I could get away with, then return to my work.

When I was younger, I had a really bad temper, and would scream really loud and long after, say, losing a game. I would sometimes scream in people's faces. I was never physically violent, though.

Now, I have moments when I get really mad and will yell at people, telling them what they're doing wrong, and sometimes hit or pinch myself or kick something. I hate confrontation (read: coward), though, so I usually stop myself before I get in big trouble.

Great point, StarTrekker.

Yes, if someone is in my face or really pushing me to do a certain thing or be a certain way that doesn't work for me, I get really frustrated. If I can't get away, relax and calm down, it is a possibility that I will have a meltdown. Over the years, I have had this happen a few times that I can think of. Usually it is quite a dramatic display. Then, once it is over I am usually back to normal.

I've had temper problems my whole life, but a few months before i was diagnosed they got more frequent and severe. I started doing things that were unusual for me, like using the f-word and other profanities during my rages. I said horrible things to my parents that haunt me to this very day. It was like I was turning into a psychopath. Maybe I still am one. I once heard that many people are actually psychopaths but most of them don't end up becoming serial killers or whatever.

I seem to lose my temper most frequently during my womanly troubles because my brain thinks, wrongly, that the human race will go extinct if I don't breed and making my PM symptoms worse, and when my patience is put to the ultimate test (like waiting for some actual service at a store or long line-ups), or when I'm reminded constantly about about the horrors of the world that I can do nothing about, or or people saying online things like "You're so stupid, what are you, autistic?" Or when the vehicle I'm in stops very suddenly as if we're about to crash. Yeah, the list of things is pretty long. And due to get longer.

Used to have temper problems except at work (high-tech) where people tended to behave logically and predictably. Within a year or so of divorcing wife 1.0, I stopped loosing my temper.

For years I struggled to control my temper, and after I left the ex, I saw a video by ADHD specialist Dr. Russell Barkley wherein he explained that the solution is not to learn to modify your behavior, but to modify the environment. Worked well for me - removing a borderline woman from your life makes it a lot easier to stay calm.

I don't have much of a temper at all - more usual for me when I get angry to run off, which has it's own set of problems.

I have a quite decent temper (I can stay calm and cool in very stressful situations) but some small things just set me off. I get violent really quickly... It's moreso a genetic thing than ASD I'd say in my case. When I get angry at people, I have a really bad habit of attacking them emotionally and being just damn bitchy. I'm a sarcastic smartass 90% of the time, so sometimes I get TOO mean. Needless to say I'm blocked by a lot of people on Facebook.

I have a very bad temper. I have been known to yell at my co workers and even my boss sometimes. As I have gotten older it is not as bad as it use to be. Last week I got so mad at my cat for waking me up in the middle of the night that I spanked her and put her in a different room. Bad Kitty!