I am curious about transitioning(FTM)

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I currently have a female body, but I do not like my overly curvy appearance, having breasts, or my stupid high pitched voice. I have been thinking about having top surgery and maybe starting T sometime in the future, but my mom is concerned about the idea of me doing either because these changes are permanent. She is worried that I might change my mind later and really regret it(and also recovering from surgery really hurts.

Does anyone have any advice?

So you definitely want to be a man? I have no experience of this, but I would suggest you started living like a man first, before doing anything at all. Perhaps you could take T and not have any surgery, and see what it's like first. I don't *think* the effects from T are permanent. Check that one.

I'm pretty sure some of the effects of T are permanent(such as voice change)and some are reversible(fat distribution on the body).

I am not sure what you mean by "live like a man", do you mean use male pronouns? Or do you mean doing stereotypical "guy" things?

Some things, like fat/muscle distribution changes would not be permanent.

But an adam's apple, thickened vocal chords, male body hair, facial hair, and any male pattern baldness would all be very permanent. If you are still young enough that your skeletal growth would be affected, that would also be permanent.

Also, over the longer-term (think years, not months) testosterone can have damaging affects on the ovaries (polycystic ovary syndrome).

... Not to mention that even men who undergo THRT are likely to develop acne, arthritis, over-abundance of red blood cells (requiring heamopheresis), edema (fluid retention), sleep apnea, hyper-aggression, and gynocomastia.

Wow, I didn't know ANY of that could come from T...are there any serious possible effects to top surgery?

Scarring is the biggest issue, especially if one is prone to keloid scarring. Infection is also a risk, but minimal if the surgery is performed properly. Adhesions and "frozen shoulders" are very rare.

For F2M, it is essentially a double mastectomy; for M2F, it usually involves silicone implants, which have a very small chance of leakage; but they can be removed again. eHRT hold similar risks as tHRT.

A reputable surgeon should go over every detail of the appropriate procedures (F2M or M2F), which will likely scare the hell out of you, but you simply must be informed of all of the risks, no matter how small they may be.

It is surgery, after all.

Okay, top surgery sounds way less risky with a good surgeon...but it'd probably be best to wait a while to be sure I'm sure.

I've only ever seen it in movies... but don't surgeons/clinics that perform this sort of surgery have some sort of professional counsellors that discuss the whole process with you over an extended period of time/visits in order to be sure you're sure & that they're doing the right thing by performing the surgery for you? If you haven't looked into that, maybe you need to find a local surgeon that does this surgery and inquire about this stuff.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standards_of_Care_for_the_Health_of_Transsexual,_Transgender,_and_Gender_Nonconforming_People

Reassure your mother: Contrary to popular belief, it's difficult to start the transitioning process, as there is a strict standard of care for trans people. In fact, it has been accused of being too strict. No accredited doctor will give you hormones or surgery without you first following the proper steps.

First, you'll need to find a psychologist that specializes in trans issues. They will be able to help you throughout the process and will be your reference when you've completed the necessary steps to start officially transitioning.

Your "hormone doctor" will be an endocrinologist. Mine works at a hospital.

Surgery (which is something you have to wait AT LEAST a year for. Sometimes 2 years) is something you have to shop for. You can't just go to any surgeon and they will be expecting a referral from the psychologist or endocrinologist. A great resource is transbucket.com. From there you can compare surgeries and surgeons.

SOURCE: I'm a transman who has been through most of it. I'm yet to get surgeries because they're expensive and not covered by insurance.

I didn't know it was so strict, I think that will make my mom feel better to know. Thank you so much for informing me of the processes involved. I very highly appreciate it.

Sorry I don't have a personal experience undergoing a transgender surgery, but a friend of mine has undergone an ftm surgery. She underwent it in a clinic in Mississauga, McLean Clinic. Her family was not at all supportive but now they are more convinced. Anyway, I wish you have a successful surgery. Keep posting the updates. Take care.

I suggest giving yourself a few months to do more research over transitioning and to find an experienced/recommended specialist to help you with the transition. During this time, also think about whether or not you are willing/wanting to go though this later on, you may end up changing your mind.

If you choose to transition, I wish you the best of luck!

This! Trying it out, with just clothes and a binder, is the best way to make sure. Some trans people are okay with never having hormones or surgery, or having only hormones. And of course, there are genderqueer people and non-binary people in general who aren't quite trans but aren't quite cis either. Your mom's right when she says that surgery would be painful and expensive; like any big investment, you have to be sure that it's what you really want before you put your money down.

Trying it out sounds good in theory, but lots of afab (assigned female at birth) people can't pass as men without testosterone, no matter what they wear (I'm one of those), in which case there isn't really another way to experience it.

As for testosterone, the permanent effects take a long time to show up - at least the ones that show with your clothes on. I've been on it for a month and the only effects I've had are changes in my metabolism and fat distribution, and downstairs (clit) growth. The first two are temporary and would reverse if I quit. Testosterone does make you feel a bit different emotionally, though, and some trans guys find they're happier and calmer on it right away, which would be worth knowing if it were the case for you. I haven't had any major emotional changes, just more energy, but I do like the way I feel on it.

Comparing the effects on FTMs to those on cis men isn't logical. For us, it's pretty safe except for a long term risk of buildup in the uterine lining and a possibility of high red blood cell counts. A doctor can monitor you for those and they can be treated.

In short, no, T isn't more serious than surgery, it's far less risky and less permanent. If you're on it long enough to get changes to your voice and facial/body hair (which are gradual), those will be permanent, and the clit growth is permanent, but the other effects are not.

Just wanted to add that voice is a real problem, in either direction (ftm or mtf).

I'm not sure how much one can grow, at what age, but in my experience, adult-transitioning trans-females sound pretty much like men(unless they are speaking in a whisper very carefully), and trans-men sound like cis-males breathing Helium.

Trans-men get toughened vocal cords, but if their chest, neck and head don't grow to male proportions, the resonance will still be noticeably higher-pitched.

Voice training can help quite a bit, but it's not easy or perfect.

Most trans-men I've met are plenty intimidating whatever their voices sound like, when they choose to be. They are also incredibly awesome, in general.