What does your ideal man/woman look like?

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SBennett0322
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08 Feb 2015, 9:07 am

NT with a question-

Is it possible for an AS male to be attracted to an "average" looking female if his ideal is a celebrity or a really "hot" woman by society's standard?

Since I'm married to my husband with AS, I will possibly have children with AS. I want to make sure my children with AS are happy and successful in their lives... and I'm sure they will want to have a partner.

I have hot friends, very physically attractive- but they are so picky with choosing a man! They would probably never date a man with AS because they have so many other choices, they could choose whoever they want- and they want someone who is social, attractive, and well-liked by others. So, if I have an AS son and he is attracted to only "hot" women, how will he ever get a date?

I am going to teach him there is value in an "average" looking woman, just like in the hot ones. I think he will find that the average to below average looking women are going to be the most acceptant of him, and will love him for who he is. And some of the hot ones will, too, I'm sure- but I don't want him to limit his choices to the most elite women.

I don't want this to be offensive- I do not think being aspie is bad at all! In fact, I believe it is a trait women should look for in a partner, and maybe in the future they will! Because I absolutely love my husband and think I am meant to be with an aspie lover forever. However, I do not see women seeking out "aspie" men, so I don't understand why sometimes AS guys say they are only attracted to the very fit, hot, very kind, and well-educated woman. It seems like that narrows down their choices so much!



darkphantomx1
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08 Feb 2015, 9:34 am

My "ideal" woman (which is still appropriate for Wrong Planet)

-Hot body
-Between 4 ft 11 to 5 ft 3
-Red hair (red hair is hot)
-If not white, than asian or latina.
-Down to earth
-Easy Going
-Likes music has musical ability
-Nice and understandable of differences


Of course this isn't the Sims 3. Your future partner probably wont be your ideal woman or anything close to it. I doubt my dream girl is going to come knocking at my door tomorrow or anytime soon.



anthropic_principle
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08 Feb 2015, 11:38 am

pretty, skinny, white brunette girl of average/short height.
theres my straight answer.



BTDT
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08 Feb 2015, 12:42 pm

It bothered my wife that she didn't match up to me in appearance, though we were exceedingly compatible in just abut everything else. It got even worse when she decided that I needed to improve my appearance at work--so I not only studied fashion, but did something that very few people can do--I not only hit my target weight, but experimented with being a little too thin and a little too heavy, to decide what would be my ideal weight...right now my BMI is 20.1

I think the problem is that too many parents want whats best for their kids--and never give them the opportunity to make enough decisions on their own. I remember a discussion between parents about letting their kid launch a model rocket from their back yard--the husband argued that their kid would benefit from launching it now and losing it in the woods and learn that it sometimes better to wait... I believe the kid lost his rocket.



AnonymousAnonymous
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08 Feb 2015, 4:08 pm

Zajie wrote:
Physically I like sharp features and black hair, in personality I like someone like me and can understand me well and is supportive
Well a childhood crush- longest crush I had for a few years, I still think about that crush sometimes who had black hair and sharp features lol, haven't seen this crush for 6 years or more lol not sure about personality but was quiet and shy a little from what I remember but it was only one time I saw this crush and it was on a gathering haha
Tbh I still crush on that person lol, totally different from any crush I ever had lol


I too had a childhood crush who had sharp features and dark hair lol. In fact, she usually sat next to me during class, I don't know why she sat next to me, but she usually hung out with the popular crowd during lunch. TBH, I sometimes wonder what happened to her given that we went our separate ways about 10 years ago.


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RushKing
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09 Feb 2015, 12:32 am

A Women...

Who is polite

Who has ideals

Who is accepting of my differences

Who would apreciate my devotion



SilverStar
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09 Feb 2015, 4:30 am

SBennett0322 wrote:
NT with a question-

Is it possible for an AS male to be attracted to an "average" looking female if his ideal is a celebrity or a really "hot" woman by society's standard?

Since I'm married to my husband with AS, I will possibly have children with AS. I want to make sure my children with AS are happy and successful in their lives... and I'm sure they will want to have a partner.

I have hot friends, very physically attractive- but they are so picky with choosing a man! They would probably never date a man with AS because they have so many other choices, they could choose whoever they want- and they want someone who is social, attractive, and well-liked by others. So, if I have an AS son and he is attracted to only "hot" women, how will he ever get a date?

I am going to teach him there is value in an "average" looking woman, just like in the hot ones. I think he will find that the average to below average looking women are going to be the most acceptant of him, and will love him for who he is. And some of the hot ones will, too, I'm sure- but I don't want him to limit his choices to the most elite women.

I don't want this to be offensive- I do not think being aspie is bad at all! In fact, I believe it is a trait women should look for in a partner, and maybe in the future they will! Because I absolutely love my husband and think I am meant to be with an aspie lover forever. However, I do not see women seeking out "aspie" men, so I don't understand why sometimes AS guys say they are only attracted to the very fit, hot, very kind, and well-educated woman. It seems like that narrows down their choices so much!




I can appreciate a good looking woman (if any guy tells you otherwise, he is most likely gay, or lying :D ), but most of the ones I have met, seem to be lacking in the personality department.

To me, personality comes before looks though. I also tend to be more attracted to women that are on the same level as me (looks and lifestyle wise).


So, to answer your question, I would say that an AS male can be attracted to average females, even though his ideals are different. It all depends on how realistic his expectations are.



Uprising
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09 Feb 2015, 8:17 am

SBennett0322 wrote:
NT with a question-

Is it possible for an AS male to be attracted to an "average" looking female if his ideal is a celebrity or a really "hot" woman by society's standard?

Since I'm married to my husband with AS, I will possibly have children with AS. I want to make sure my children with AS are happy and successful in their lives... and I'm sure they will want to have a partner.

I have hot friends, very physically attractive- but they are so picky with choosing a man! They would probably never date a man with AS because they have so many other choices, they could choose whoever they want- and they want someone who is social, attractive, and well-liked by others. So, if I have an AS son and he is attracted to only "hot" women, how will he ever get a date?

I am going to teach him there is value in an "average" looking woman, just like in the hot ones. I think he will find that the average to below average looking women are going to be the most acceptant of him, and will love him for who he is. And some of the hot ones will, too, I'm sure- but I don't want him to limit his choices to the most elite women.

I don't want this to be offensive- I do not think being aspie is bad at all! In fact, I believe it is a trait women should look for in a partner, and maybe in the future they will! Because I absolutely love my husband and think I am meant to be with an aspie lover forever. However, I do not see women seeking out "aspie" men, so I don't understand why sometimes AS guys say they are only attracted to the very fit, hot, very kind, and well-educated woman. It seems like that narrows down their choices so much!

Having AS doesn't necessarily make someone physically unattractive by itself, but sometimes they have poor genes or don't take care of themselves too well.

But yeah, leagues in terms of attraction are a thing, regardless of many people denying this, like goes for like.



anthropic_principle
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09 Feb 2015, 8:44 am

RushKing wrote:
A Women...

Who is polite

Who has ideals

Who is accepting of my differences

Who would apreciate my devotion


that doesn't describe appearance dude, he asked us what would they look like.



Zajie
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09 Feb 2015, 12:41 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Zajie wrote:
Physically I like sharp features and black hair, in personality I like someone like me and can understand me well and is supportive
Well a childhood crush- longest crush I had for a few years, I still think about that crush sometimes who had black hair and sharp features lol, haven't seen this crush for 6 years or more lol not sure about personality but was quiet and shy a little from what I remember but it was only one time I saw this crush and it was on a gathering haha
Tbh I still crush on that person lol, totally different from any crush I ever had lol


I too had a childhood crush who had sharp features and dark hair lol. In fact, she usually sat next to me during class, I don't know why she sat next to me, but she usually hung out with the popular crowd during lunch. TBH, I sometimes wonder what happened to her given that we went our separate ways about 10 years ago.

Lol I still hear news about that crush from time to time so I guess there is still some form of connection lol



KindleHeart
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09 Feb 2015, 9:46 pm

Physical: well kept & clean, otherwise don't care
Personality/Attitude: kind, open minded, intellect, goofy, critical thinker, tolerant, loving
Ideal: goofy & loving intellect


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SwissPagan
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09 Feb 2015, 10:34 pm

SBennett0322 wrote:
NT with a question-

Is it possible for an AS male to be attracted to an "average" looking female if his ideal is a celebrity or a really "hot" woman by society's standard?

Since I'm married to my husband with AS, I will possibly have children with AS. I want to make sure my children with AS are happy and successful in their lives... and I'm sure they will want to have a partner.

I have hot friends, very physically attractive- but they are so picky with choosing a man! They would probably never date a man with AS because they have so many other choices, they could choose whoever they want- and they want someone who is social, attractive, and well-liked by others. So, if I have an AS son and he is attracted to only "hot" women, how will he ever get a date?

I am going to teach him there is value in an "average" looking woman, just like in the hot ones. I think he will find that the average to below average looking women are going to be the most acceptant of him, and will love him for who he is. And some of the hot ones will, too, I'm sure- but I don't want him to limit his choices to the most elite women.

I don't want this to be offensive- I do not think being aspie is bad at all! In fact, I believe it is a trait women should look for in a partner, and maybe in the future they will! Because I absolutely love my husband and think I am meant to be with an aspie lover forever. However, I do not see women seeking out "aspie" men, so I don't understand why sometimes AS guys say they are only attracted to the very fit, hot, very kind, and well-educated woman. It seems like that narrows down their choices so much!



well, the ideal will probably be another aspie girl, if chances are lucky enough (aspergers happens more commonly to men than women) if not, then probably a girl who like an aspie will be able to obsess over a common interest, since most aspies tend to grow obsessed over some subject on an intellectual level. if your son can find a girl like that who is informal and not exclusionary, or even nerdy herself, I can see that working out. unfortunately for me, all nerdy girls and tomboys that I know are already married or in healthy relationships... The other girls who seem to show interest in me and I share back are all foreigners. (though on a personal level its hard to get up the nerve to ask them to a date, but some times they take the initiative, which takes the strain off me )

I guess you would jsut need to find a girl who is accepting of weird, and probably weird herself, or far from conformed. (fitting "in" is very hard when you have aspergers).

the only way I existed was my mother came from a family of five brothers (so she was kind of a tomboy and one for mischief) and my father was a mild aspie and the son of a VERY aspie scientist, but dad never knew how to lie and becasue he did strange things with his Dad, he had great stories to tell and also my father's modest and gentle nature was also in contrast to other guys she grew up with. so she went for Dad. and unlike some of her friends, never regretted her marriage choice. her only real regret was that he died too early...



InfoPunkie
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10 Feb 2015, 3:24 am

You mean we only get to pick one(?)



elliot87
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10 Feb 2015, 5:43 pm

SBennett0322 wrote:
NT with a question-

Is it possible for an AS male to be attracted to an "average" looking female if his ideal is a celebrity or a really "hot" woman by society's standard?

Since I'm married to my husband with AS, I will possibly have children with AS. I want to make sure my children with AS are happy and successful in their lives... and I'm sure they will want to have a partner.

I have hot friends, very physically attractive- but they are so picky with choosing a man! They would probably never date a man with AS because they have so many other choices, they could choose whoever they want- and they want someone who is social, attractive, and well-liked by others. So, if I have an AS son and he is attracted to only "hot" women, how will he ever get a date?

I am going to teach him there is value in an "average" looking woman, just like in the hot ones. I think he will find that the average to below average looking women are going to be the most acceptant of him, and will love him for who he is. And some of the hot ones will, too, I'm sure- but I don't want him to limit his choices to the most elite women.

I don't want this to be offensive- I do not think being aspie is bad at all! In fact, I believe it is a trait women should look for in a partner, and maybe in the future they will! Because I absolutely love my husband and think I am meant to be with an aspie lover forever. However, I do not see women seeking out "aspie" men, so I don't understand why sometimes AS guys say they are only attracted to the very fit, hot, very kind, and well-educated woman. It seems like that narrows down their choices so much!


Good that you'll teach them theres More to women than looks.

Personally I got crushes on girls who weren't interested in me and shot down girls who were interested in me, because of being out of my comfort zone. And when I was interested I was waaay too interested.



sly279
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10 Feb 2015, 6:50 pm

SwissPagan wrote:
SBennett0322 wrote:
NT with a question-

Is it possible for an AS male to be attracted to an "average" looking female if his ideal is a celebrity or a really "hot" woman by society's standard?

Since I'm married to my husband with AS, I will possibly have children with AS. I want to make sure my children with AS are happy and successful in their lives... and I'm sure they will want to have a partner.

I have hot friends, very physically attractive- but they are so picky with choosing a man! They would probably never date a man with AS because they have so many other choices, they could choose whoever they want- and they want someone who is social, attractive, and well-liked by others. So, if I have an AS son and he is attracted to only "hot" women, how will he ever get a date?

I am going to teach him there is value in an "average" looking woman, just like in the hot ones. I think he will find that the average to below average looking women are going to be the most acceptant of him, and will love him for who he is. And some of the hot ones will, too, I'm sure- but I don't want him to limit his choices to the most elite women.

I don't want this to be offensive- I do not think being aspie is bad at all! In fact, I believe it is a trait women should look for in a partner, and maybe in the future they will! Because I absolutely love my husband and think I am meant to be with an aspie lover forever. However, I do not see women seeking out "aspie" men, so I don't understand why sometimes AS guys say they are only attracted to the very fit, hot, very kind, and well-educated woman. It seems like that narrows down their choices so much!



well, the ideal will probably be another aspie girl, if chances are lucky enough (aspergers happens more commonly to men than women) if not, then probably a girl who like an aspie will be able to obsess over a common interest, since most aspies tend to grow obsessed over some subject on an intellectual level. if your son can find a girl like that who is informal and not exclusionary, or even nerdy herself, I can see that working out. unfortunately for me, all nerdy girls and tomboys that I know are already married or in healthy relationships... The other girls who seem to show interest in me and I share back are all foreigners. (though on a personal level its hard to get up the nerve to ask them to a date, but some times they take the initiative, which takes the strain off me )

I guess you would jsut need to find a girl who is accepting of weird, and probably weird herself, or far from conformed. (fitting "in" is very hard when you have aspergers).

the only way I existed was my mother came from a family of five brothers (so she was kind of a tomboy and one for mischief) and my father was a mild aspie and the son of a VERY aspie scientist, but dad never knew how to lie and becasue he did strange things with his Dad, he had great stories to tell and also my father's modest and gentle nature was also in contrast to other guys she grew up with. so she went for Dad. and unlike some of her friends, never regretted her marriage choice. her only real regret was that he died too early...



to SBennett0322
hard to say. I find 90% or more of women to be really good looking and hot. just being able to like and interest in average women doesn't mean they'll get anymore dates then if they went after just hot by society standard women.
most women today are quite picky. be them overweight and ugly or super hot and thin or inbetween.

SwissPagan

yeah the cool nerdy women go fast it seems same with tom boy girls who like outdoors and guns.

my grandpa had aspegers likely where I got it. my grandma loved him alot and spent all his life with him. he died when I was 1ish and she never dated or had another relationship. she loved his inner child and honesty along with other stuff.



Jacoby
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10 Feb 2015, 7:04 pm

If I knew I'd probably have an easier time finding them, I just want somebody that wants me and I haven't found that yet.