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winston112
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12 Sep 2015, 6:25 pm

Nuthatchnut wrote:

And last but not least:
Telling me to "smile!"
When I am not smiling I obviously had something more important to do than remembering to stretch my lips across my face.


I hate that too. People telling others to smile or lighten up. Who can smile under that kind of pressure? It also happens sometimes when talking to others at e.g. a party, having a nice and calm discussion about something, that someone who isn't a part of that discussion yells something like "come on, stop being so serious, have some fun!" How is that a socially accepted behavior?



olympiadis
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13 Sep 2015, 1:39 am

Greenhat wrote:
Making themselves the victim when they're the bullies.


Yep. I've seen this a lot.
The hive mind that controls their behavior is aggressive and invasive, and they don't even realize it because they are embedded within the context of their own identity.



VisInsita
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13 Sep 2015, 4:25 am

Spiderpig wrote:
It's the inferior who needs to keep the superior happy, so they won't decide to take some solace in making their life hell, not the other way round. Caring about your feelings would only encourage you to believe you were their equal and start expecting respect from them.


Or to be precise it's the person feeling inferior that needs to psychologically take part in a make-believe that they actually are superior. If they truly would feel that or wouldn't fear for themselves, they'd had no need to put the other person down. You know these funny scenes when a small dog barks at and harasses a bigger dog that just takes it all calmly. With people it's the same. Let the dogs bark. I got better things to do than to play with their illusionary power pyramids.



kalmrain
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20 Apr 2016, 10:20 pm

dianthus wrote:
ReticentJaeger wrote:
Interrupting a conversation to say 'hi'.

Talking to someone who's reading a book.


I agree with both of these and it doesn't just appear rude. In most cases it IS rude.

I especially dislike it when store clerks interrupt while I am talking to ask if I need help.

Or in a restaurant, when the server comes by to ask if you need anything...of course it's inevitable that they are going to interrupt the meal, but some of them are very rude about it. They just butt in very abruptly while someone is speaking. They act like they are just going to keep walking past your table if someone doesn't call out a response immediately. If you gesture for them to wait while you finish chewing, they stare very intensely watching you chew the food, like they are mentally trying to force you to swallow faster. lol Or when the first person responds that everything is okay, they don't wait to see if anyone else at the table has something to say, they just move on.

In general, I find it very rude when people ask questions and don't pause to hear a response.

Dantac wrote:
You're talking to someone on the phone and they start talking to you.

...and then THEY get upset when I show them the palm of my hand to make them stop since I can't keep track of what two people are saying at once, each in one of my ears.


OMG. Yeah. One time this happened to me on a merchandising job. I visited this store once a week to stock and straighten the book section. Sometimes I would talk on the phone to my supervisor while I was working. One day the store manager came up and started talking to me while I was on the phone. I put my hand up because I couldn't carry on two conversations at once. All I intended was to signal, hold on a minute. She reacted like I had pulled a gun on her. Yelled at me that I had better NEVER put my hand up to her again. Total biotch. I quit servicing that store not long after that.


I think that to a NT it would come across as offensive. If you chose you could try something like smiling and either putting up one finger or moving your phone to the side to quickly say "Hold on just a minute or This is important or Just a minute". Usually, not every time because some people just seem to be mean, it comes across more friendly than a hand in their face. I think it's perfectly reasonable to do it, but it's not that way for many. They don't get that, they feel shoved away or somehow less important and that negative reaction evokes the anger you encountered. I'm sorry you both went through those situations though. A smile, as genuine as you can make it, softens an otherwise awkward situation, which they brought upon themselves to begin with.... :roll: I've spent my entire childhood and teen years learning to read moods of my parents and others, and this seems to be the reason for the reaction. Hope it doesn't happen again! :)



TheAP
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21 Apr 2016, 2:00 pm

Spoiling what's going to happen next in a movie/TV show.



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21 Apr 2016, 2:39 pm

Generally interrupting people for no reason.


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AspieTurtle
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21 Apr 2016, 2:54 pm

It annoys me when an NT tells me that they think the noise level is just fine. They are not in my head and not experiencing the agony I am going through!! !!

It is also frustrating to me when they try to tell me I don't know what I am talking about after I prove my point with facts and they try to prove theirs with anything except facts.

They annoy me when they make excuses for not following rules or they laugh at me for doing so.


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seaweed
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21 Apr 2016, 4:30 pm

beginning to pack up their things before the professor has finished the lecture.
i'm sure its not only an NT thing, but a lot of people do it and its so rude!
and then the professor either cuts the ending short or no one can hear what they are saying anyways because there are too many papers rustling and zippers closing.

another one, is walking really slowly in groups that take up the entire sidewalk, then not noticing and/or making a pathway for faster walkers to get through. again, not sure if this is just an NT thing but it's definitely a thing.



seaweed
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21 Apr 2016, 5:00 pm

AspieTurtle wrote:
It annoys me when an NT tells me that they think the noise level is just fine. They are not in my head and not experiencing the agony I am going through!! ! !


amounts of noise that drive me insane are perfectly fine to them. like blasting music in the car while talking loudly so they can hear each other over the music. also i have a friend who plays music oppressively loudly and then when one of her favorite parts comes on she'll turn it up higher 8O
i can't even listen to the music if its too loud.



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22 Apr 2016, 2:40 am

When cashiers mutter "take your time" sarcastically, when you are trying to look for a smaller pound note to give so that they don't have to give you so much change. And you're not even taking a long time.


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Kiprobalhato
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22 Apr 2016, 3:21 am

sarcastically saying "thanks" after a sneeze is met with silence.

i bet it's not just NTs who do this....


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GarTog
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22 Apr 2016, 4:01 am

When I sit down to watch a TV programme (I seldom watch TV so when I do I really want to watch it) my NT wife starts talking! She does it during programmes she likes as well. Weird...



TheAP
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22 Apr 2016, 2:31 pm

Not apologizing for hurting others' feelings.