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Greenhat
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05 Sep 2015, 8:46 pm

The way I'm weird and abnormal and need a therapist because I'm socially awkward, but the kids who shout at the tops of their lungs during class, climb on their desks in the middle of a lesson, brag about all the F's they've gotten that marking period on the bus home, and throw crayons across the room during the PARCC are perfectly normal, need no change, and should be emulated.



mpe
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06 Sep 2015, 4:01 am

Greenhat wrote:
The way I'm weird and abnormal and need a therapist because I'm socially awkward, but the kids who shout at the tops of their lungs during class, climb on their desks in the middle of a lesson, brag about all the F's they've gotten that marking period on the bus home, and throw crayons across the room during the PARCC are perfectly normal, need no change, and should be emulated.

If you attempted to emulate or ape these people how would you be seen?



nurseangela
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06 Sep 2015, 6:12 am

I hate it when some of us are on a HOA Board and don't make our friends follow the Bylaws. When I was was on the Board everyone followed the rules - I wasn't on it to make and keep friends!! No wonder this place is going to the dogs!! Sometimes NT's just piss me off!!


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ResilientBrilliance
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06 Sep 2015, 7:29 am

I hate when people go "HUH?" when they didn't hear what was said. It sounds so obnoxious to me. I've had a professor send just "Huh" as an email response to a question I asked.

I hate when someone stands behind me and looks over my shoulder. I don't understand why they think its ok to be so close to me especially when they are behind me.



Greenhat
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06 Sep 2015, 7:42 am

mpe wrote:
Greenhat wrote:
The way I'm weird and abnormal and need a therapist because I'm socially awkward, but the kids who shout at the tops of their lungs during class, climb on their desks in the middle of a lesson, brag about all the F's they've gotten that marking period on the bus home, and throw crayons across the room during the PARCC are perfectly normal, need no change, and should be emulated.

If you attempted to emulate or ape these people how would you be seen?


The teachers would stop liking me and my parents would be furious. I might end up being popular among those kids if I managed to imitate them properly (which I couldn't) and they forgot my history (which they wouldn't).



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06 Sep 2015, 11:05 am

I think these two posts say it all:

Who_Am_I wrote:
It's because the rules of politeness change according to your social standing.


nomoretears wrote:
NTs can get away with that because they are higher on the social ladder. If you do it, you are weird and rude. And don't point out social dynamics, that will make people really mad. Socialization is a game to them, a game in which the rules aren't usually stated outright.


Everything detailed in this thread is a way to put us in our place. Most people are well aware all those behaviors are rude. Unlike us, however, they know whom they can afford to be rude to and whom they can’t. When someone is distinctly being rude to you, they usually do it to let you know they have no respect for you, nor will they have it, because they simply don’t need to. The more you—weakly—complain and try to make them feel any obligation to respect you, the more they will disrespect you to defend what, to them, is a natural right you are trying to take away from them without being duly qualified for it—i.e., without having the power to force them to respect you. It’s the law of the jungle. The only way to win is to show you are, in fact, more powerful than them. For instance, in a school-playground setting, soundly beating them up would work.

olympiadis wrote:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude (/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/; German: [ˈʃaːdn̩ˌfʀɔɪ̯də] ( listen)) is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.[1] This word is taken from German and literally means 'harm-joy.' It is the feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune.


Some say …

Quote:
Die reinste Freude ist die Schadenfreude.


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Aspie202
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06 Sep 2015, 11:06 am

Calling their friends swear words


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LilZebra
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07 Sep 2015, 2:30 am

ResilientBrilliance wrote:
I hate when someone stands behind me and looks over my shoulder. I don't understand why they think its ok to be so close to me especially when they are behind me.


I do that sometimes when I want to make a point with a cell phone user that he/she is txt'ing excessively.


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WAautisticguy
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07 Sep 2015, 3:54 pm

I hear NTs talking/whispering during the National Anthem, or during a moment of silence for our nation's colors. Unbelievably disrespectful to our flag, our country and our freedom. I never do any of those things because I need to show respect for the country that I live in.

Almost every NT at my school talks in that horrible "valley girl" slang. "Like, what did like, she like do this weekend? Like, did she like go to a totally rad swag party?" %[email protected]&! !! :evil:
We had to do a speech last week for senior English class. The requirement was to stand and show eye contact. What did I do? Stand and show eye contact all the time. What did the NTs do? Stood there, and either used valley girl slang (like, we went to the ocean this summer and like, it was so fun), swayed their legs around like they were in a boat in bad conditions, or stared at their little note card while talking!! They would get some bad scores on their speeches if I had to grade them.

NTs who stare at their People and US Weekly magazines showing Kardashian gossip, while their kid is crying in the shopping cart. Ugh I hate that. :x
Being pushy at your job. Walk into a retail store, and there's an 18-year-old NT in your face asking you "Hi! How are you doing? What are you looking for today? Can I help you?" You know what, leave me alone and let me look for myself.

And one more thing - talking about inappropriate things at lunch. Last year, I overheard many conversations about d--ks and p---ses at lunch. And this is frickin high school, not middle school! In a public setting, you don't talking about your privates!



conundrum
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09 Sep 2015, 12:04 am

WAautisticguy wrote:

Being pushy at your job. Walk into a retail store, and there's an 18-year-old NT in your face asking you "Hi! How are you doing? What are you looking for today? Can I help you?" You know what, leave me alone and let me look for myself.


That one I can forgive because they are told to do this by management. I worked at Walmart for 4 years (glad that's over) and we were instructed about the "10-foot rule": if a customer is 10 feet or less away from you, approach and ask "Are you finding everything okay?" or something to that effect. We took it seriously in the event just one customer complained that they weren't asked :roll: --we were made to believe that this was a "termination-worthy" offense.

In my experience, even NTs do NOT want to do this, but they do want to keep their jobs.


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WAautisticguy
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09 Sep 2015, 12:11 am

Sheesh. And that's why I will never work in a retail or fast food environment. Too much stress, too much "fake greetings", too much of a waste of my time. Yes I know, most teenagers start in retail/fast food. But most of the teenagers are NTs who are good with being social.
Ironically, the field I want to go into for a job later in life involves lots of talking and stress...but it's not fast food or retail. It's teaching. I volunteered last year for a local elementary school, and within a few weeks I loved it and the kids knew me by name. :) And retail/fast food does NOTHING to your real resume for the education field.
But under NO circumstances will I end up being cashier or assistant in a grocery/department store. Sorry you had to go through that stress. Ugh.



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09 Sep 2015, 5:45 am

Telling me about things a the last minute. If you want me to do something, give me time to think about it, otherwise the answer will almost certainly be a "no".

TheAP wrote:
I agree about the touching thing. I don't mind being hugged, but I don't like being randomly patted. After someone touches me, I always rub the area they touched, as if to wipe away the feeling of their touch.


I'm exactly the same in that regard.


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09 Sep 2015, 6:05 am

Yer mum


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Joe90
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09 Sep 2015, 6:17 am

When I was a teenager I had the other girls completely treating me the way they wouldn't want to be treated.
They never shared any sweets with me, but expected me to share mine by asking me "nicely". They always made rude remarks at me what hurt my feelings. I was never rude or nasty to them. Then one day I decided to give them a taste of their own medicine. When one of them opened up a lunch-box revealing a salad what she had made in cookery class, I expressed that I didn't like salad, by looking at it and going, "eww!" The girl then looked very hurt and said, "thanks for saying that, Jo! It took me and hour to make this!" And she turned away from me, and the others glared at me. I suppose none of them actually realised that was how they've been making me feel all these years of High School. Then when I decide to say something unpleasant what I imagined they would say to me, I just got hated even more.


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11 Sep 2015, 7:33 pm

When people insist on giving me something I said I don't want. Like when I buy something, and I say I don't want it in a bag, but they say "are you sure?" and they put it in a bag anyway.



EmeraldGreen
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11 Sep 2015, 7:55 pm

I think knowing when to interrupt, knowing how to, and when, are finer social skills than a lot of Autistic people can summon. I am right there on the borderline of Asperger's/NT and I struggle daily, consciously with this in many dialogues and try and take my time to respond. When in doubt, I try to shut up and wait. Knowing when/how to interrupt even when the conversation sounds like dwindling, petty "Blah, blah, blah, blah " to us is not always easy or possible.


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