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K_Kelly
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12 Feb 2015, 10:44 pm

In my particular neighborhood, there doesn't look like there is anyone new who is my age, except for this one friend who I already know who lives next to my street.

I have no other options for transportation except for taking the short van, but because of my cursed differently abled Joubert Syndrome, mom b*tches to me how I can't take the regular city bus. I really want to make friends, and my parents won't want to move to a new neighborhood. Oh well, if they don't like it they should toughen out, because they owe me the ability to make friends. My parents are so impotent. I feel like I'm crying right now because I feel so impotent. I fell behind since I stopped going to high school (graduated when I was 19). It's not even fair, I want G*d to give me a fair hearing on my Joubert Syndrome-and I want to be reborn without it, if G*d personally asked if I wanted to be reincarnated. I can't just be impotent like this.



Beau
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13 Feb 2015, 1:47 am

Hey K_Kelly.

To be honest, I had to look up Joubert Syndrome because I haven't heard of it before. How severe is your condition? What exactly is your parents' reasoning for not allowing you to take the city bus? If you don't have any major issues stemming from balance/coordination, then maybe they're just really protective and are concerned about your safety in unfamiliar environments. You could try communicating with them better, figure out what the root cause is, and work together to help ease their minds. For example, offer to go with them to do errands or to go on a grocery run, and show them that you can handle certain tasks and responsibilities. Eventually, they'll trust in your abilities and believe that you're fully capable of taking the bus alone. Maybe get a cell phone if you don't have one already since this will ease their mind knowing that you could contact them if there was an emergency. This was just an example...as I don't know the specifics in your situation.

Hope that somewhat helped.



OliveOilMom
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13 Feb 2015, 8:25 am

I had to look up what it was too. How effected by it are you? Are your parents being overprotective or are they being practical by saying you can't take the bus, etc.

As for them having to move so you can live in a neighborhood you like, I disagree with that. There is a lot more to think about when moving than the neighborhood and things like preferences for the kind of house and where it is. There are financial considerations that trump most other things. They would have to get an entirely new mortgage which may be higher than what they pay now, they could end up being in debt for ten or twenty more years than they would be if they stayed in their existing house, their homeowners insurance could go up, there are many, many things to consider besides neighborhood preferences when contemplating a move. I would love to move out of this town we live in that I hate, where I'm in the middle of nowhere and have no where to go and no way to get there, but we own our home, I'm 50 and my husband is 51, and neither of us wants to end up with a mortgage to pay when we are trying to live off of social security.

Have you thought of finding friends other ways? I've rarely made friends based on the person being my neighbor. I have two friends now who I know because of that (one actually because one of them died last year), and in the past I only know of one person I met and became friends and stayed in touch with due to them being a neighbor. I actually prefer my friends to not live that close to me because then they would come over too much.

Have you thought about groups you could join about things you are interested in and meet people that way? Are you still in touch with any high school friends? Are you a member of a church or something like that where people go weekly and you could meet some folks your age? What about simply being on Facebook? Thats how I met the girl who is now my best friend in the world a few years ago.

There are good things about having friends on your street and such but also plenty of not so good things. The good is that you can see them as often as you wish but the bad is that sometimes they want to see you more than you want to see them. Also, you can't simply make up something when you want to get out of an invitation. If they live on your street they will probably know when you are sick or have somewhere else to go. They see you outside or coming and going.

If you live in a decent size city I'm sure there are ways to meet people that I haven't thought of. There really aren't any ways to do that around here other than through people I already know or church and I'm certainly not a church goer and won't even pretend to be because the kind of friends I'd make there aren't really the ones I'd be interested in hanging out with. Down here they go way over the top.


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