Being picky with affection + 'weird' types of affection

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precambrian aion
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17 Feb 2015, 1:54 am

So I have this particular thing with physical affection in which I don't generally like to receive it but I like giving it sometimes. I feel frustrated (even disgusted) when forced to give someone a hug or anything like that, and in general I prefer hugging than being hugged and so on. Also I only like affection from certain people. Not friends or family, only people I've got romantic feelings for. And even some people I've been interested in romantically I haven't liked affection from. I just wanted to know if this was some sort of autistic trait/if any of you had similar experiences.

Also the way I like the most to show affection is to rub the top of my head on someone's shoulder or arm. I'm not sure if other people do this, I've been doing this since I was a child and I don't really remember where I got it from. Do any of you do this?



nerdygirl
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20 Feb 2015, 6:20 am

I think everyone probably has certain ways they prefer to receive affection.

Rubbing your head on someone's arm actually makes some sense. Perhaps when you were young, you snuggled up under your parents arms and were short enough to do so long enough to have that become an ingrained feeling you like. Having someone's arm against/over your head is a pit of a protective measure, so it makes a lot of sense.

I was too tall too young to tuck myself under anyone's arm for very many years.



Hyperborean
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20 Feb 2015, 6:30 am

I have similar feelings to you about how I show/receive affection. Generally I have a quite large 'personal space' and don't like people intruding on this, - particularly not family members - but when I have romantic or at least affectionate feelings for someone of either sex then I enjoy hugging and being hugged by them. I tend to be selective about who I am tactile with. As to this being a specifically autistic thing, I'm not entirely sure. I think it probably is, although some NTs have similar reactions.