Giving Birth

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Hi,

I'm 29 weeks pregnant right now and quite worried about giving birth. For those of you who have done this before, how did you cope with the hospital setting, the pain and having so many different people around touching you?

I'd be grateful for any advice

I've heard "Lamaze" classes are useful.

I have a great respect for people who have to endure childbirth.

I did the hatha yoga pregnancy exercises, from a book, to prepare. It's good, it helps also controlling anxiety. Luckily I could do at-home birthing, so I'm sorry, I can't give any advice on hospital setting. In labour you might not give it very much attention though.

In the midst of labor, I did not care who was there. It does help to have someone with you, though, who can help you communicate with the nurses and doctors. This could be your S.O. or could be a doula. I highly recommend hiring a doula, based on the experiences of other women I know who used one. I did not have one, but it probably would have helped a tremendous amount with the situation re: my firstborn.

I think if you are concerned about having any communication problems at all, a doula is almost necessary, especially if your S.O. also may have communication problems. This would help *especially* if an emergency situation arises and any stress and extreme emotion make communicating even more difficult.

You could do a home birth or a birth center instead of the hospital if you're experiencing a normal pregnancy. And a trained midwife will know if you are having a difficult labor and need to go to the hospital.
Unfortunately I have not had the pleasure of starting a family yet so I can't offer any other advice. Once I save up the down payment for a mobile home I will start saving up for artificial insemination, but that is still a couple of years off.

Have you considered finding a doula (pronounced doo-la)?

http://www.dona.org/mothers/

My husband I suspect is on the spectrum and I was quite concerned about him not being able to support me. We engaged a doula. Best money I've ever spent. They are they for you. If you get into a state where you don't want people to touch you excessively, she can inform them (she cannot intervene in medical things). If you're upset about something she can reassure you. I had a long horrible labour and one of the midwives was not very nice - the doula was awesome through that.

I've had two babies and it wasn't bad. There aren't lot of people in the room. There are at least two or three doctors while you give birth and anyone who you allow to be there with you.

I had an epidural in the first one and the contractions felt like very bad period pain and the second one I didn't have enough time for one so I ended up going natural and the pain was a lot sharper like a knife going through me and I was nearly screaming and crying. Each time I didn't feel the baby come out of me.

I hear that exercising helps and it helps your labor be easier and giving birth. Each of my labor went fast and my body never made it to 40 weeks, I had both my kids at exactly 39 weeks. I don't know if walking did it and being active.

I don't think I had a doula but I did read a lot on labor before having my son so I would know what to expect. Doctors were surprised how calm i was they didn't think I was having a baby until they checked me. The second time I would say I was acing like I was having a baby because the contractions were different but they still thought I did good. I wasn't prepared for a natural birth so I guess I did good for someone who wasn't prepared for it. But I have seen women in youtube videos act a lot better than me while in labor and giving birth naturally at home.

I just remembered reading once about a woman on the spectrum who had trouble with the hospital after the birth. Because she was autistic they didn't want to let her take her child home. I think in the end they released the child to her husband. You might want to take a parenting class to show you can care for a baby.

My first birth was in hospital without any trusted support and I felt uncomfortable with the medical staff telling me what to do, and examining me. It made me feel disempowered for a long time after.
So I decided to train as a Doula and have supported lots of mums during the birth of their babies since. I protect the space and make sure the medical team respect the wishes of the birthing mother, and you can definitely ask for minimal internal examinations in you birth plan.

I always recommend Nancy Bardacke's 'Mindful Birthing' to my Mamas. It's a brilliant book and there is a great guided meditations app that goes with it. It helps you focus on the present moment and let go of fears to build confidence in the birth process.

My second birth was amazing, empowered and intense. Preparation does make a big difference and having the right support for you.

Another good read is Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin.

Happy birthing!

I'm terrified to get pregnant because of giving birth. I've heard the pain is so bad, and I think I have a low threshold for pain, so I will probably end up dying with the pain or something.

I have given birth naturally twice.

I would recommend that if you are having a non-complicated pregnancy to look into getting a midwife. I had a midwife for both of my kids, although she was only in the birthing room for my second because I almost had my first at home on the floor . I find midwives to be more intune to what mom needs and they tend to be less interventionist (less touching, prodding, examining, etc.)

The preparatory work that I did that was most helpful was meditation, practicing positive affirmations, and creating my own focal point. I made a collage that had peaceful images on it along with my positive affirmations. The purpose was to have something to focus on while I was in labor. I also listened to the same music when I did my meditation and my daily affirmations. My labor was much more intense with my daughter, and I found the positive affirmations especially helpful because they easily came to my mind. They were things like "My body is strong. I am able" and "Pain is a natural part of this natural process" and "Each contraction brings my baby closer to me." It may sound kooky, but I really found it to be helpful. Another thing I also found helpful was to vocalize during labor. The sound that helped me the most was a very low "oh" sound that resonated in my chest. There was also a humming sound that helped, and that resonated more in my head. Positioning is also important, so you want to make sure if you have an OB, he or she is not one who is going to expect you to lay on your back the whole time. I felt much better on my hands and knees, rocking back and forth, or standing and leaning over the bed.

It may also be helpful to you to draft a birth plan. It is important to realize that things rarely go as planned, but making certain wishes known ahead of time is helpful. It also helps to make sure that whoever is in the room with you (S.O., doctor, midwife, etc), knows what you want and you can work out any disagreements before you find yourself in labor. For example, with my daughter, no one was to ask me if I wanted pain medication.

It really isn't that bad. I mean, I won't lie. It hurts. But it hurt more when I fractured my tailbone and it hurt more when I got a chemical burn. It also hurt more when I had a really bad corneal infection in my eye. Plus, at the end, having your baby in your arms makes all the pain go away.

I would much rather give birth than be pregnant, and you have already gotten more than half way through that! Just remember that millions of women have done this before you and millions will do it afterward. Your body was made to do this. Giving birth (unless there are complications) is a natural part of life, not a medical condition. Trust your body and yourself.

Good luck to you! Giving birth for the first time was probably one of my favorite experiences ever.

Epidural.

About the birth planning: Because of me living rather far away from the next hospital (45 minutes), I did not take the risk of an homebirth. However, the hospital I was in, supported in giving birth with only one of their midwifes as assistance, as long as everything is ok.

However, I needed an cesarian done (no emergency OP, but he simply could physical not come out in natural way), and nobody prepared me about the shedload of people, that are involved in an cesarian OP. I think it was about 10-12 people in that rather small room, please dont ask me, what they were needed for. ^^ That gave me a bit of anxiety, my partner being there distracted me at least a bit from that. So prepare yourself for that in case of emergency.

About the pain: Cant really tell. They tried to induce labor for 1,5 days with hormons, and according to the midwife and the gear, there were some contractions, but I did not really feel them very intense. Had similar experiences with my infected appendix or broken bones.

Worst of all was the hospital experience afterwards. I slept maybe about 2-4 hours each day, due to all that noise and disturbances. Sadly because of the cesarian and an infect, I had to stay for 6 days. I was totally done. They wanted to keep me even longer, to be sure the infect was gone, but I could not take it anymore.

My plans for a further birth would be: Again in an hospital, in privacy with an midwife. And if everything is well, I would only stay one day, and then go home with an midwifes assistance.

After a C-section or any abdominal surgery, as far as I know, you are not allowed to go home until you have passed a bowel movement. They need to make sure that everything is working and hasn't jammed up after having been moved around for the surgery.

An infection would definitely make it worse!

The pain of the C-section, for me, was worse than the pain of labor, but I still didn't find it that bad as long as I had something to grab when I wanted to turn over (the rails of the hospital bed provided this.) Holding a pillow to my abdomen also helped. I felt much better long before the restrictions on driving were lifted, and I did not need the hardcore pain medicine for more than a couple of days.

If men had to give birth, our species would die out.
Many males would fold under the strain.
Cheers to the strength and courage of women!