Page 2 of 2 [ 28 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Prof_Pretorius
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,985
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library

06 Mar 2015, 10:41 pm

During serious conversation, do not lean in close and squeeze the other person's nose and say "beep beep".


_________________
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke


dianthus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,138

06 Mar 2015, 10:54 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:
During serious conversation, do not lean in close and squeeze the other person's nose and say "beep beep".


LOLOLOL

I will simply have to try this sometime soon :lol:



2cat007
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2014
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Posts: 414
Location: Candy Land

07 Mar 2015, 2:40 am

Thanks for the list, this will come in handy in the future.
Image



campboy92
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2014
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 197

12 Jun 2015, 11:47 pm

<3



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,707
Location: Maidstone, UK

13 Jun 2015, 11:42 am

I have definitely learnt this:-

If a person doesn't respond at all to what you've just said, it means you've just said something stupid or irrelevant. Usually I always give a response, even if somebody says something stupid or irrelevant. But most people don't. Sometimes I think it's maybe because they haven't heard, but I've noticed it happens more when I say something stupid.


_________________
Female
Aged 29
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


starfox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2015
Posts: 1,012
Location: United states of Eurasia

13 Jun 2015, 12:37 pm

I learnt:

Smile when talking to people because then it helps the other person to relax and they like you more.

When greeting someone smile and give eye contact.

Speak more slowly (sometimes I talk too fast).

If your unsure of what somebody has said ask them politely to repeat it or explain again.

Be tactful instead of saying things outright. Even if I'm correct, I must be polite and sugar coat the issue lol


_________________
We become what we think about; since everything in the beginning is just an idea.

Destruction and creation are 2 sides of the same coin.


Cyllya1
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 320
Location: Arizona, USA

13 Jun 2015, 1:36 pm

Cool, I've been working on a list of social tips.

I live in a place where eye contact is used sparing, and I notice most locals give some other kind of cue to indicate who and what they're paying attention to. My coworkers can do brief office small talk without making eye contact once. If you stare too much, I'm guessing they'd think you're hostile, overbearing, or maybe just weird.

Some other things that come to mind:

Pretty much everyone considers themselves to have good intentions, no matter how horrible their intentions are. So criticism will usually just make them consider YOU the bad guy.

Pretty much everyone hates unsolicited advice, and if someone is complaining about something, that's not necessarily a solicitation for advice.

It usually works better to state a fact about yourself rather than giving your opinion, especially if your opinion is critical or negative, e.g. say "I didn't like that movie" instead of "that was a bad movie." This applies even more so when you're having a practical discussion about disagreements or interpersonal problems. Opinions are subjective and usually useless for problem solving.


_________________
I have a blog - Here's the post on social skills.


Rocket123
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2012
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,229
Location: Lost in Space

13 Jun 2015, 2:11 pm

> 7. Try to maintain eye contact.
I was under the impression that others couldn’t tell if you were actually making eye-to-eye contact. That you could “fake it” by simply looking at the mouth (or even at the bridge of the nose).

> 9. Pay attention to what someone is doing before engaging them in a conversation.
Why?

> 11. When trying to join a group conversation, wait until a pause to join in.
What does “joining in” mean? Are you referring to actually saying something? As, I assume it’s ok to “join in” by simply standing adjacent to the other people who are conversing. I do that often with my wife (and “join in” simply by listening).

> 13. Wait until you get to know someone before you share personal details
How do you know when you “know someone”?

> 18. Don’t ask people to say things
I don’t understand.

> 20. Relax and don’t overanalyze details.
That (not overanalyzing details) seems easier said, than done.

> 25. Only party crash if you’ve been to a party at that person’s house before.
Why would anyone attend a party they weren’t invited to?



starfox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2015
Posts: 1,012
Location: United states of Eurasia

13 Jun 2015, 2:25 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
#7 Revised: Look near the persons eyes so they think you are looking at their eyes. Sometimes it is just unbearably unconformable to do the real thing


Another trick that helps me is if I wear sunglasses it's easier for me to make eye contact because they can't see my eyeballs lol


_________________
We become what we think about; since everything in the beginning is just an idea.

Destruction and creation are 2 sides of the same coin.


InThisTogether
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2012
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,812
Location: USA

13 Jun 2015, 8:59 pm

If you are in a more formal setting, like a boss's office or a teacher's office and they stand up, it means that the conversation is over and you need to go.

If someone starts to avoid eye contact with you or starts looking away in the middle of the conversation, they may be uncomfortable

If someone shifts their body position so that they are no longer facing you (like angled away), you may have said something that they disagree with

Be very careful correcting someone in a position of authority in front of others, even if you know they are wrong. They will not usually find it to be helpful, although you may think you are helping them by giving them correct information


_________________
Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage


Raptor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,984
Location: Southeast U.S.A.

13 Jun 2015, 10:26 pm

Quote:
2. Don’t talk about a topic excessively, especially if the other person isn’t familiar with it.

I used to be REALLY bad about this. If someone appeared to take an interest in my special interest(s) just for the sale of conversation I'd take it and run with it, going on and on ad nauseam. I've come to only talk about my interests to others with the same interest who are at the same level of interest.

Quote:
7.Try to maintain eye contact.

Yes, but it shouldn't be continuous since that can come off as aggressive or psychopathic.

Quote:
10. Don’t interrupt other people’s conversations if it seems like a personal one between them.

Can be hard to determine sometimes without a little discrete eavesdropping. I've been accused of ignoring people because I was reluctant to enter a conversation out of concern for the conversation being personal.

Quote:
17. Never talk to the cops without a lawyer present. (This isn’t a social cue, but it’s so important, I’m putting it in here anyway)

Depends on the nature of the conversation and why that conversation is taking place. If it has anything to do with any crime that you had any involvement in, no matter how indirect, then, yes, have legal counsel present.


_________________
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
- William F. Buckley


JoelFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 599
Location: In a nerotypical world.

13 Jun 2015, 11:12 pm

Guilty on count three count seven and count thirteen Innocent on count 23

3. If someone doesn’t respond to calls, texts, etc, it means they no longer wish to be in contact with you.
I have this issue with a "friend" I always get the feeling that he doesn't care to talk with me I just dunno the 'why' (as if I have done something wrong or he want's space....I hate conflict)

7. Try to maintain eye contact.
I suck at eye contact...I'm often looking off to the sides or elsewhere when I talk or when the other person talks.

13. Wait until you get to know someone before you share personal details.
While I'm normally reserved I have been known to disclose that I have Autism when I talk to a person for a little while maybe it's my way of warning the person if you want to escape now's the chance.

23. Don’t discuss politics and/or religion.
Not a problem with me tho often religion and/or politics gets thrown into the conversation either (red) is the best president we've seen or (blue) is/was killing our country and the person I know also isn't shy about shoving christ or god into my face regardless if I want to hear it or not. I get it I'm in the bible belt but I still don't want to hear it no more then they want to hear about my choice (or lack thereof).


_________________
"I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection." ~ Billy Joel


Cyllya1
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 320
Location: Arizona, USA

14 Jun 2015, 7:43 pm

I finished my list of social tips if anyone is interested.


_________________
I have a blog - Here's the post on social skills.