Who here has given up on a social life?

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Who has given up on trying to socialize off-line or add more people to their social life in any way, whether just long-term or forever?

It's not that I've given up because giving up implies I tried and failed. I find I just don't give enough f***s to try in the first place. If someone wants to talk to me I'll be friendly, but that's about as far as it goes.

Not entirely I still want friends, I mean its not like I have no friends whatsoever...I do have some family who care and most of my somewhat younger brothers friends tend to take a liking to me at least I assume people like me somewhat if they want a hug before departing. But I have plenty of experiences that make me just want to give up...I have gotten too drunk a few times falling into that drink to be social trap but then people just think you're a person who needs to learn to manage their drinking.....lol. But all is not lost, I still have my interests that others may also share to have hope in. Also starting to find the inner nerd/geek or whatever the hell I mean what else do you call it when you all the sudden develop curiostity about going to one of those events where you dress like anime/movie/video game or whatever characters and want to go to the rennasiance festival in full costume in character...though me and my brother and a couple friends have to decide if we want to be pirates or something else and also remain in character of whatever all day. Maybe I can make friends through geekish things like this...

before wrong planet and my Olympia square pegs aspie meetup group, I managed to make one friend, a most curious circumstance. since those two things, I have met a few more good people. despite this, I still am mostly fit for hermithood, as most folk simply cannot seem to grok me.

I would rather have just one good friend than a social life. Just the term social life makes me feel tired all over. I do enjoy talking with people one on one but if you get a few or more, talking in circles, blurting, or inturupting eachother, I will quickly find the door. I guess it would depend on the group. It is my personal preference to be in stable environments. In addition, friends cost a lot of time, not just from my physical body, but from my mind as well. Yep, I would say that I have tried it, and I gave it up.

I've basically given up. Any time I find someone I like and that I share interests with, they seem to not want to have anything to do with me. I currently go to college. Last semester I met someone with the same first name as me and we would show up to class about 1-2 hours early (our classroom was open and empty) and we would talk a lot. We both also had a Nintendo 3DS and would play Smash Bros. and other games. We seemed to have a lot of fun. I eventually got his phone number, stating it would be great to hang out beyond the confines of our classroom. So, I try contacting him a few times and each time he either doesn't respond or says that he can't or is busy, etc. Obviously, I'm thrown in a confusing loop because we had so much fun in class together and it all seemed genuine, but his behavior shows otherwise. He is also not the first person I have run into a similar situation with.

The whole thing has just got me wondering why I should even bother continuing with such an effort when it seems vain.

After my last relationship I pretty much have. I was always kind of a broken person but hooking up with another, more damaged human being was a big mistake on my part, left me far worse for wear. Now I'm even more jaded and anti-social.

That's more in terms of relationships though. As far for actual friends, I'm a recluse so that's kind of impossible. Anytime I try to make friends or be social online people end up not liking me. I wouldn't mind making some friends online to chat with but I don't see it happening, I tend to scare people away with my strangeness. That isn't too bad though, people usually bore me..but I do go through periods where I feel this deep, deep loneliness and I'll try to reach out somehow but ultimately end up ignored.

I don't believe there is anybody stranger than myself to paraphrase Jung, humans are a terrific disappointment.

I've gone through something similar, too. I've been given advice to "just go out and approach people", but for some reason I tend to make people uncomfortable when I do that. I'm just not well-versed enough in approaching people, and I don't really have the means to learn and stay on the right track.

It's just one of those things I can't teach myself after being given some advice...i need someone to watch over and guide me to make sure I don't go off in a completely wrong direction. I have similar trouble in learning to draw...I did eventually find a guide, but thanks to college, I was forcibly ripped away from him.

I'm also under ungodly restrictive circumstances that nobody I've met has been really able to give solid advice on, so...I'm like a bird trapped in a cage. A cage made of material that can survive multiple hydrogen bombs, one I can't escape without luck being on my side as I exert my (oft-meaningless) efforts to get out.

I don't know how to make friends

I gave up years ago, probably around late 2008-early 2009.

Yeah, pretty much.

I worried that I was giving off bad vibes without intending to, so I asked around a bit to people I talk to online. I've been in a few Skype/video calls with NTs from other forums recently for gaming and asked if anything seemed off about my voice or mannerisms in private once or twice. They all said no. So, nobody can find anything wrong with me (and won't tell me if they do), but I'm treated as though there's something wrong with me when I try to build friendships offline or take online friendships into the real world.

I like me, but the complete and total lack of social connections makes me wonder if I overlooked something obvious and ugly in myself. I don't even dislike other people like so many who have at least a little bit. I just feel like I have no control over my outcomes no matter how many books I read, how much feedback I take, or how much I practice.

I've faced a lot of fears the past year from organizing a group in classes to participating in student workshops, and all I feel is that there's no point being afraid because there's really nothing to take away from me, anyway. What, are people going to like me less than not at all and spend less time with me than none if they don't like what I say or how I present myself?

I have pretty much thrown in the towel at this point. I have learned to accept I may be well liked in general but nobody wants to be my close friend. I honestly have no idea why: I am kind, a good listener, fair, generous and very loyal. I don't obsess over my special interests anymore and I am willing to try any reasonable activity. Still, people just seem to suddenly distance themselves from me. I have heard that I am arrogant, self-centered and cocky yet everyone tells me there is no basis in reality for those claims. The last guy I had over left with a big smile, said he had a blast and couldn't wait to get together again. Fast forward a month later and I am getting the usual excuses. I won't even talk about my dating experiences!

Like the previous post, I have been told there is nothing "off" about my voice yet I can say the same thing as someone else and they will get plenty of laughs and I won't even get a reaction at all. All I want is one good friend to share life's ups and downs with and get rid of my loneliness: is that too much to ask? On a more positive note, I am dating a women with is very introverted and only has one close friend and have been spending all the free time I can with.

After I was diagnosed, the clinical psychologist recommended that I focus my thoughts on understanding: “What does [being diagnosed with] Asperger's mean to me and how do I move forward in the world”.

I have been thinking about this question off-and-on now for almost 2 years. Ultimately, to me, this sort of means understanding who you are and what you are (your essence) and making the best of that. Another way to say this is to focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.

So, before I was diagnosed, I did try to socialize more. Often, by attending functions organized with by my parents and family.

Generally, I don't mind being around other people. I am simply not good at talking about nothing in particular. The only time I found these functions tolerable was when I could sit back and just listen to others talk. But this is easier said than done. As other people expect you to participate in a conversation. Which I typically (not always) find very difficult to do. As a result, most of the time, I just dreaded these types of functions and focused on when these would be over.

As a note, I am quite good at talking about the stuff I am currently focused on. But usually, the only people who are interested in that are my co-workers. I would surmise that my co-workers consider me quite articulate (when I am discussing matters of work).

Anyhow, before I was diagnosed, I figured with practice (and more practice) maybe something magical would happen. And I would learn to become better at talking with people.

Nowadays, I have given up on magical thinking. And realized it's a fool’s game. I try not worry about that particular "deficit" in my life.

too bad you are not in south Puget sound in Washington state, my aspie group would welcome you unconditionally