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Do you get jealous/angry when people shares the same interests?
Yes. 19%  19%  [ 7 ]
No. 57%  57%  [ 21 ]
Sometimes. 16%  16%  [ 6 ]
Click here for results. 8%  8%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 37

Quantum
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09 Mar 2015, 12:30 pm

Hello everybody!

Every once in a while (2 times a week) we study physics in school which is my strong interest. Everytime someone works with my interest my egocentricism kicks in and it makes me feel mentally ill. It pretty much gives me a melt down and I can not do anything about it other than somehow express my feelings openly.

How am I supposed to approach this problem? It's quite frustrating for me to pretend as if physics is my gem than everyone is looking after. I'm not sure if jealousy is the correct term for it, probably more like "it's my lawn".

Any suggestions? Is it normal to get this feeling to an extreme degree?



Logston
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09 Mar 2015, 12:41 pm

"Is it normal?" I very much doubt it as from what I can tell, most people love finding people who share their interests.

"How to fix?" Yeah, I've no clue. Suck it up, I guess, because that's life.

I used to become enraged when I was much younger (elementary age) when I was put in similar situations with friends. I still have some issues with possessiveness when it comes to interests and things, just not to that degree. I'm not sure why.



Quantum
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09 Mar 2015, 12:48 pm

Logston wrote:
"Is it normal?" I very much doubt it as from what I can tell, most people love finding people who share their interests.

"How to fix?" Yeah, I've no clue. Suck it up, I guess, because that's life.

I used to become enraged when I was much younger (elementary age) when I was put in similar situations with friends. I still have some issues with possessiveness when it comes to interests and things, just not to that degree. I'm not sure why.


Thanks for the reply!

Also, I am very often feeling inadequate when it comes to intellectual persuits such as physics, this leaves me with the feeling of utter incompetence. How can I counter this? I think this might be why I am getting these feelings.



Zajie
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09 Mar 2015, 1:14 pm

That happens to me so then I keep working so hard to reach the same point that person is in or a point higher lol.



Quantum
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09 Mar 2015, 1:17 pm

Zajie wrote:
That happens to me so then I keep working so hard to reach the same point that person is in or a point higher lol.


Well, that is my problem.

I went through a whole physics book which gave me a one whole year head start, yet these feelings keep on showing up. I always feel inadequate which makes me overcompensate which yields good results but the negative feelings are still there.



mixtape02
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09 Mar 2015, 1:25 pm

I think you're probably a lot younger, in middle or high school, so the competitiveness is there where you want to know the most in your favorite subject and if you don't you feel inadequate, right? It's just a young person thing... I mean, I think once you're older you'll realize that there are so many people who are interested in this subject. You can't always be the best, but you can expand your knowledge on your own time. The people at your school don't really matter.



Zajie
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09 Mar 2015, 1:28 pm

Quantum wrote:
Zajie wrote:
That happens to me so then I keep working so hard to reach the same point that person is in or a point higher lol.


Well, that is my problem.

I went through a whole physics book which gave me a one whole year head start, yet these feelings keep on showing up. I always feel inadequate which makes me overcompensate which yields good results but the negative feelings are still there.

I keep getting depressed about it and leaving things I need to do like school things until I perfect something or get a result which might satisfy me a little
I feel the same way when it happens to me and it kills all my confidence and I start feeling insecure about what I achive in that field and about my abilities
I get good results too from that but I keep obsessing over the person I got jealous from and think that they're still better than me
I also don't know how to get rid of that trait, right now theres this person who drew a really beautiful drawing and I like drawing so I'm feeling very jealous from them and I can't stop thinking about it, I can't start drawing those days because of school work but at the same time I can't concentrate in anything else because thats on my mind



QuantumChemist
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09 Mar 2015, 1:34 pm

Quantum wrote:
Logston wrote:
"Is it normal?" I very much doubt it as from what I can tell, most people love finding people who share their interests.

"How to fix?" Yeah, I've no clue. Suck it up, I guess, because that's life.

I used to become enraged when I was much younger (elementary age) when I was put in similar situations with friends. I still have some issues with possessiveness when it comes to interests and things, just not to that degree. I'm not sure why.


Thanks for the reply!

Also, I am very often feeling inadequate when it comes to intellectual pursuits such as physics, this leaves me with the feeling of utter incompetence. How can I counter this? I think this might be why I am getting these feelings.


I have a suggestion on how to overcome the feeling of incompetence, but I do not know if it will work for you or not. What I would try to do is to find another student (could even be a class or two below yours) who is weaker in the subject of physics and help tutor them. Trust me, one of the best ways to see if you actually know a subject matter is to teach someone that subject. I do not have an idea on how to overcome the jealousy issue, as I have never had that problem before. As for me, I like finding people who are interested in the hard sciences.



Quantum
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09 Mar 2015, 1:49 pm

QuantumChemist wrote:
Quantum wrote:
Logston wrote:
"Is it normal?" I very much doubt it as from what I can tell, most people love finding people who share their interests.

"How to fix?" Yeah, I've no clue. Suck it up, I guess, because that's life.

I used to become enraged when I was much younger (elementary age) when I was put in similar situations with friends. I still have some issues with possessiveness when it comes to interests and things, just not to that degree. I'm not sure why.


Thanks for the reply!

Also, I am very often feeling inadequate when it comes to intellectual pursuits such as physics, this leaves me with the feeling of utter incompetence. How can I counter this? I think this might be why I am getting these feelings.


I have a suggestion on how to overcome the feeling of incompetence, but I do not know if it will work for you or not. What I would try to do is to find another student (could even be a class or two below yours) who is weaker in the subject of physics and help tutor them. Trust me, one of the best ways to see if you actually know a subject matter is to teach someone that subject. I do not have an idea on how to overcome the jealousy issue, as I have never had that problem before. As for me, I like finding people who are interested in the hard sciences.


I am always willing to help anybody and I am doing so, but for some reason that does not help me get over the annoying feeling.

I am in high school so that might be the answer, I am usually competitive in the field of physics and I want to be nr 1
even though it's an unrealistic goal as it is entirely subjective. Should I just accept this feeling and try to face it as much
as possible to dampen it's psychological effects? Or is there a better way of resolving it?



LupaLuna
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09 Mar 2015, 2:22 pm

What to need to do is learn to channel that energy for a better competitive drive. It's sounds like to me that being the the best in physics is important to you, and when you come short, you get frustrated and angry because you feel inadequate. Instead if getting frustrated and angry, redirect that energy to motivate yourself into working harder at becoming better at your interest. in other words, BE COMPETITIVE!!



Quantum
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09 Mar 2015, 2:33 pm

LupaLuna wrote:
What to need to do is learn to channel that energy for a better competitive drive. It's sounds like to me that being the the best in physics is important to you, and when you come short, you get frustrated and angry because you feel inadequate. Instead if getting frustrated and angry, redirect that energy to motivate yourself into working harder at becoming better at your interest. in other words, BE COMPETITIVE!!


That is what I am doing right now, as I'm typing this.

The problem is that when I am competetive, I will lose sight on everything else. But I will try to regulate my work so that I do not over-do it.

Thanks for the help!



elysian1969
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09 Mar 2015, 3:46 pm

I guess it would have to depend on what the subject is, but as someone who is more than a bit of a gear head I enjoy gear head conversation. I can talk about cars and engines (primarily imports, i.e. old Volkswagens, Toyotas, etc.) all day long with the right people. But when I find someone who is more knowledgeable on a particular point, then I want to learn something from them.

The only person I ever try to compete with is myself. I don't care for competition with others primarily because I will either perform abysmally by comparison (such as anything involving physical coordination or athletics) or I will outperform them without really trying to in (certain) other endeavors.

I think it's better - for my own personal sanity at least- to develop the talents I have the best I can, and acknowledge that I'm really good at some things, and that I really have to struggle with others. :heart: :skull:


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Ettina
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09 Mar 2015, 5:51 pm

I love finding people who share my interests!

The first time it happened, though, I was a bit confused because my usual 'script' for talking about my interests assumed others knew nothing about it. But I was excited too, and once I got to university I got used to it pretty quick. (If you're planning to get a degree in a special interest area, expect to encounter many people who are passionately interested in and very knowledgeable about that area.)



QuantumChemist
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09 Mar 2015, 6:45 pm

Quantum wrote:
LupaLuna wrote:
What to need to do is learn to channel that energy for a better competitive drive. It's sounds like to me that being the the best in physics is important to you, and when you come short, you get frustrated and angry because you feel inadequate. Instead if getting frustrated and angry, redirect that energy to motivate yourself into working harder at becoming better at your interest. in other words, BE COMPETITIVE!!


That is what I am doing right now, as I'm typing this.

The problem is that when I am competetive, I will lose sight on everything else. But I will try to regulate my work so that I do not over-do it.

Thanks for the help!


LupaLuna is correct on this. One thing that may help you is to realize that you do not have to be the absolute best at something to be worth something in that area. Science is build upon by discoveries coming from many areas and many different people. I see the whole of science as less of a competition and more a cooperation to achieve the same goals: progress in knowledge. Yes, there are some scientists that strive to make a name for themselves in everything that they do. (If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone in grad school claim that they were going to win a Noble prize for "their" research, I could buy a Ferrari. Few actually will achieve this level.) It is good to have a competitive side, just do not let it overwhelm you to where it dictates your personality. Channeling the energy correctly is the key to making it work for you.



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09 Mar 2015, 10:06 pm

Perhaps your interest in physics is a means to retain a unique(ish) component of identity that others do not have, being that it is a relatively uncommon interest.

Does that make any sense or am I hitting a foul ball here?


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