I'm New at WP and ready for some serious protesting! (LONG)

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I am Jamling Sherpa, an autistic 24 yo male from Pensacola and I have absolutely had it with my parents limiting me where I can go, what I can do, and what I can have. Here is a list of the things I am either restricted from having or downright banned:

I am not allowed to have:

an automobile (or anything with an engine for that matter), that means no cars, motorcycles, not even a simple moped to get round town!

The bus system here is pathetic, it doesnt run but once an hour, it literally takes a MINIMUM of 3 (THREE!) HOURS to get anywhere. That means I cannot go to the mall, the airport, or some government offices that I need to go to. Because of this, and the fact that my parents are ALWAYS working, I cannot go anywhere. In a typical week, I am out of the house maybe twice, and that is when I get to go to the supermarket <sacastic>Yay, how fun!</sarcastic> or do misc errands with my parents. Every once in a while, I feel like going to the cinema to see a movie.

The net effect of this is I will never get to experience the thrill of the "open road", the wind in my hair, the freedom of being able go places when you want, where you want and the general happiness that comes from owning same.

Another thing I can't have is a credit card. I would like to have one, but my parents say I am not responsible enough. I receive 415 dollars from the government in the form of an SSI cheque. I only get it ONCE A MONTH. Do you know how depressing it is? I can't go on trips, I will never be able to rent or own my own house, and I will never get to buy a fancy piece of electronics, because I would have to wait literally 6 months or longer, by then, the piece of electronics is ridiculously out of date anyway.

Because of this, the few posessions I have are my stuffed animals. I have a Neandertal (prehistoric man) named Alya who is pretty much my best friend, even though he can't take me anywhere either. I have a completly bottom of the barrel Dell laptop that is reasonably fast, but other than that, I don't have anything of noteworthy significance. It is extremely frustrating to buy something, that in the normal world isn't a big deal to buy, but for me, it just about bankrupts me.


Alya, my best (and only) friend

One more thing that I am unable to obtain is a partner. I am gay, but that doesn't matter, because I am banned from ever having a partner because my parents say I will get AIDS or get hurt. That is one of the most depressing aspects of my life. I am living with my parents, and I am sure that I always will.

Considering the above, I have no reason for existing.

What do you all think? Do you live with your parents? Have you been banned from doing or having specific items or activities?
I would really like to know.

I have to live with my mother and step-dad, being 15 and all.

You need to get some ways to get more cash flow into your pockets We need some
home bussiness ideas that aspies can do well at.

They sound a bit controlling, to be honest. Some of the things you mention I might be a little concerned about (obviously we're only getting one side of the story here). One or two other things - like having a relationship, say - are none of their business at all. You're 24 - you're not their sexual territory to control as they wish!

Welcome Jamling,

Your Alya pics are ace, i have never seen a cuddly neanderthal before. Thanks for cheering me up!

A quick question: Do you have any older brothers and sisters? They can make good allies. I guess I was lucky: having an older sister meant that I had her to break them in and the rest for me was relatively easy. In fact (with hindsight - I'm 30 now), I'd say that my parents treated me and trusted me to do more stuff than perhaps they should have. I put myself in some danger and have learnt a lot of things very slowly and the hard way.

I guess all parents are human and have weaknesses. I would agree that yours sound way too over protective and need to let you make some of your own mistakes. What to do? You sound quite angry and frustrated (well I would be too). This can sometimes come across (quite wrongly) to parents as 'immature' and so that is how they continue to treat you. It's a vicious circle and you may have to make huge efforts to change the dynamic.

Is there any way you can get a part-time job to suplement your government check? Over here in the UK we are allowed to work upto 16 hours a week before you stop being eligable for some certain payments. Anyway, if you ask your parents to help you find out this information then they can see that you are trying to achieve something greater and even a few hours a week of work will get you around new people and may buy you extra freedoms (financially and with your parents).

Also, maybe your parents have just never heard of Autistics having 'proper' relationships. When I first learnt about Aspergers (in my case) and Autism as a whole (at 18) all the information I could find was really quite negative. I couldn't read any of it without crying (so I stayed 'in the AS closet' for a long time). Anyway Wrong Planet is great and very up beat, also there is another website you might like: http://forums.delphiforums.com/asandpartners/start
which is for Autistic Spectrum people and their partners for discussion of relationship dynamics. It is interesting reading and maybe your parents could look at it too.

I hope that you re feeling more positive about it all soon.

I'm a self-employed videographer/editor/filmmaker, for which you do sometimes have to deal with the rest of the world, say when you're getting a gig, shooting/in production, and delivering/collecting payment - however the rest of the time it's self contained work, editing is great for example - no one at all to disrupt my world. I highly suggest media oriented work for Aspie folk - even the parts where you have to deal with people are limited to certain extent - like when you're shooting, you can look at only the particular part of the world that happens to be in front of your lens, and it allows, especially documentary filmmaking, for learning more about people in mostly safe situation where I don't, er can't, participate in what's going on around me.

Welcome to WP!

Tim

They may have exaggerated ideas about what aspies are -- and are not -- capable of. Try to get them to read the "You may be an aspie if . . . " thread - and some other selected ones too.

vanrand