What would your life be like if you were never autistic?

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Have you ever wondered what you life would have been like if you were a neurotypical? (non-autistic) I think about this a lot. It's hard to say as I was diagnosed pretty young and it's had a significant impact on my life. If I was never autistic, I probably would have had better social skills and would have had no problems making friends. I'd probably be at college right now as well and about to finish my sophmore year.

I'm not really sure--but I put "overall better" because--perhaps--I might have been successful materially had I not been autistic.

But...one never knows....maybe I would have become a total bum had I been neurotypical.

I have no idea - as I would be quite different from who I am.

So... there goes another hypothetical situation right out the window

Different - that's for sure.

But I don't know how much better or worse it would be.

I would definitely have more friends, I wouldn't be bullied at schools and I wouldn't have so much trouble getting a job or registering to schools.

But on the other hand I have no idea how some things I experienced in my life would affect me if I were NT. My parents were neglecting me but I didn't pay much attention to it(I liked being alone anyway) and I believe it actually helped me develop self-help skills and decent degree of self-confidence since I had to depend on myself. If I were NT I would probably be looking for company and emotional support which would result in getting into a bad environment due to lack of parents supervision. And I would definitely end up drinking and smoking if I had no sensory issues because some kids around me were trying to talk me into it. I tried it once but it was so yucky and smelly that I was always refusing it afterwards, not even trying to understand why other kids do it anymore.

I think that asd has overall increased my quality of life. I have internalized that we are by definition actually always alone. I think people trick themselves into believing they have had a shared experience...or something is better when you share it, but honestly every experience of my life is mine alone. All stimuli is coming in through my senses, being processed by my brain and there is no other set of senses or brain like mine. We cannot share anything completely with anyone. Someone sitting across from me at a meal doesn't make it taste different. This literal interpretation can be very soothing and helpful in life transitions. We were always alone even when we didn't know it.

I would be extroverted and highly socially motivated and will be socialising all day every day and my health will be perfect = FALSE.


I would most probably wouldn't have been so rejected through High School, instead I would have been more accepted.

I would most probably still be an introvert, because it seems to be a common family trait. But I think I would probably been a more laid-back person who just has a group of friends who stay in touch and accept me.

I probably would have been less of a problem child growing up, being so I was brought up in an ordinary home environment with decent parents and family around me.

I'm not sure what I would be like with jobs. I would probably be more able to do things what involve a lot of communication skills, like being a nurse in a hospital or care home, or working in retail and dealing with customers. But that would depend on what sort of a personality I would have. I'm just trying to imagine the NT version of myself, which sounds like I probably wouldn't be in an upper-class job, but you never know I might work my way up the career ladder a bit later on in life, depending on what circumstances life gives me.

Not sure if I would have moved out of my parent's house yet or not. Not all NTs meet the love of their life on their 18th birthday and move out right away. In fact I know more NTs of my age that still live at home than those who don't. So that's nothing to be ashamed of anyway these days, unless life creeps by too quick and you realise you're now in your 30's or 40's and still living at home, and never found love or anything. Life would get a bit depressing then.

But those are just assumptions of what my life would be like if I was NT, but still in this same body, same house I grew up in, same parents that had me, etc etc. It's very easy for me to imagine.

It's literally too hard to say.

Yeah, I'd be better at making friends. I wouldn't have struggled so much at the start of Year 12, so would have done better in my A Levels (I still did very well). I would have been able to leave home to go to university, and would have gone to a better university. My employment prospects would probably improve substantially, and I wouldn't routinely get depressed due to crippling loneliness. I wouldn't feel sick when I got sensorily overloaded, and I would be able to enjoy many things more thoroughly as a result. My co-ordination would be better, so I'd be better at sports and music.

On the other hand, maybe I'd have made friends with the wrong people when I was five, been led completely astray, and dropped out of school after GCSEs. I wouldn't have been so motivated to learn to read, and without my special interests, I might never have developed many skills, including those which have got me my jobs so far. I might waste more time socialising. I'd be miserable because I wouldn't have The Beatles to cheer me up.

Impossible to say as I only remember living this one life but judging my peers I went to school with I doubt I would be much more successful. Being as introverted as I was kept me out of a lot of trouble and bad crowds that you can get into growing up where I did. Perhaps I would of been richer in life experience? I dunno.

I would not be me, thus, I would be not alive.

I would have more friends and fit in better. I wouldn't have meltdowns and would be able to keep my emotions under control. My interests would be more normal. I would have normal crushes, instead of weird obsessions with people. It's hard to say, though, because I don't know how many of my traits are because of autism and how many are just me.

I don't fit into those poll options. Comparing myself with NT acquaintances on the same kind of variables (education level etc) both they and I would say that my life has been more varied and interesting than theirs, that my interests are more varied, and as an NT I suppose that my way of thinking would have been much more conventional and far less inquiring. I wanted an interesting life, and I got one. No regrets about that. No desire to be made magically NT even if there was such a magic wand. The downsides are just part of a bigger tapestry of me. I've learned to live with them more or less.

My NT comparison cohort mainly lived lives of conformity. They made choices based on age eg 17? go to university; 30? get married etc etc. There was this calculating aspect they applied to their lives that I never did. I was more like: Hmmm, that idea interests me, let's see where that goes... of course I made some choices too, that could be termed conventional, but not to a timetable as they did. My life was much more interesting and the idea of living and travelling in other countries by myself never daunted me at all. I was used to being different, and by myself, even in my own country.

However in terms of you title question: no-one really knows nor can ever know the road not travelled in any real way.

Probably better off in terms of employment and the resulting personal finances. I have had some truly rock-star jobs, but have always lost them because of shut-downs, melt-downs, blunt confrontations, fears and plain boredom because they didn't encourage my interests. But, my force of will, specific talents and persistence is what got me those jobs, so, maybe it would be a net-zero result.

AspieUtah:

I feel like you've experienced much in life, and have accomplished much.

I can't even imagine what that would be like, as I'd be a completely different personality, just inhabiting the same body. Its not an option I would explore, even if I could. There is no fiber of my being that has the least desire to be like the shallow, superficial NTs that I have known. Even the ones I admire as decent people, I wouldn't want to be like them.

I mean, I might have been more materially successful, but then, I might have been a narcissist, or a mindless religious fanatic, or an abusive bully, like the ones who have made my life a living hell.

My biggest miseries in this life have not come from my autism itself, but from the way I have been treated, either with intolerance of my autistic quirks, or with cruel indifference to my disabilities.

Thanks!

I have done a lot of crazy, incredible, fascinating, amazing things with equally amazing people. When I consider the scope of my experiences, good and bad (protecting future presidents, airline crashes, anonymously protecting others from harmful "isms," working with/for Steve Jobs, writing laws, becoming friends with celebrities, studying what I choose to study and becoming kinda, sorta good at it all and being able to answer others' requests for my advice) I realize that I am truly blessed by someone or something because it all fell seemingly into my lap.

I just wish my Indiana Jones/Walter Mitty lifestyle came with better pay. That aspect sucked. Haha!

[quote="will@rd"
My biggest miseries in this life have not come from my autism itself, but from the way I have been treated, either with intolerance of my autistic quirks, or with cruel indifference to my disabilities.[/quote]

Absolutely true for me too.