Diary of a non diagnosed 37 yr old man getting diagnosed

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starkid
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25 Apr 2015, 1:45 am

ChristianSmith wrote:
So I'm nervous, scared of what I'll discover. I just want to have that label of something, then I can start to learn how to cope with people.

You can do that without a "label."


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milksnake
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25 Apr 2015, 4:58 am

Yes, worth starting straight away, you can also use it as a way to explore how your own problems relate to autism. Be a good way to prepare for the assessment.

I'm also in the uk (south west) awaiting a diagnosis, I plan on documenting my experience too but seeing as there's a 6 month waiting list I wont start just yet. So far, GP aside, it has been a positive start and I have been granted access to behavioral and anxiety therapy whilst I wait for my diagnosis.

I look forward to comparing our experiences and wish you luck, all the best. :D



ChristianSmith
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06 May 2015, 5:27 pm

So went for an initial meeting today at the mental health unit here in Essex . It went really well and I discovered that I find it incredibly difficult to control my emotions, never really thought about it. Talked about my whole life and the physciatric nurse said it is highly likely I will get to see the specialist aspergers team. But!! !! It's an 18 month wait, so for now I'll await my letter and see what happens. So far so good.
speak soon my other Worldly chums


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RAADS-R 172


dryope
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06 May 2015, 5:58 pm

Thanks for the update! Sorry about the long wait, though...


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B19
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06 May 2015, 6:02 pm

In the jargon, that difficulty is called "emotional dysregulation". However, it may be really important for you to consider that this is an effect, not a cause, of your past problems. When we are invalidated for long periods of our lives, enormous frustration builds up and that has a flow on effect in expression of emotion.

So the assumption should not be made that the cause of your problem is emotional dysregulation - that is putting the cart before the horse! I hope that this will not happen; though must warn you that there is a lot of ignorance surrounding Autistic Spectrum Disorders amongst "experts" and you need to do your own homework too, as you have started to do by taking the tests.

There are some professional writers that the majority of WP members place far more credence in than others; Tony Attwood is the one I have the most faith in and if you google "Tony Attwood Aspergers" lots of hits will come up, his books, articles, lectures and videos. He is very empathetic toward people on the spectrum and respectful.

There is a lot of bad and ignorant stuff about Aspergers on the net, so take a lot of it with a grain of salt; I am glad that you have come here to share your experience and your journey. Good luck for that journey!



ChristianSmith
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07 May 2015, 1:30 am

Thank you people


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ChristianSmith
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07 May 2015, 3:43 am

B19 wrote:
In the jargon, that difficulty is called "emotional dysregulation". However, it may be really important for you to consider that this is an effect, not a cause, of your past problems. When we are invalidated for long periods of our lives, enormous frustration builds up and that has a flow on effect in expression of emotion.

So the assumption should not be made that the cause of your problem is emotional dysregulation - that is putting the cart before the horse! I hope that this will not happen; though must warn you that there is a lot of ignorance surrounding Autistic Spectrum Disorders amongst "experts" and you need to do your own homework too, as you have started to do by taking the tests.

There are some professional writers that the majority of WP members place far more credence in than others; Tony Attwood is the one I have the most faith in and if you google "Tony Attwood Aspergers" lots of hits will come up, his books, articles, lectures and videos. He is very empathetic toward people on the spectrum and respectful.

There is a lot of bad and ignorant stuff about Aspergers on the net, so take a lot of it with a grain of salt; I am glad that you have come here to share your experience and your journey. Good luck for that journey!
thank you for the push to watch some of Tony's videos. It does make all so much sense. One comment he already made was don't judge others, which makes sense.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172


GiantHockeyFan
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07 May 2015, 9:30 am

B19 wrote:
In the jargon, that difficulty is called "emotional dysregulation". However, it may be really important for you to consider that this is an effect, not a cause, of your past problems. When we are invalidated for long periods of our lives, enormous frustration builds up and that has a flow on effect in expression of emotion.

So the assumption should not be made that the cause of your problem is emotional dysregulation - that is putting the cart before the horse! I hope that this will not happen; though must warn you that there is a lot of ignorance surrounding Autistic Spectrum Disorders amongst "experts" and you need to do your own homework too, as you have started to do by taking the tests.

That's a very good point. I have the same issue and I agree, it's an effect, not a cause. Same with anxiety: sure it runs in the family but my anxiety is bad because I seem to randomly piss people off for no apparent reason at all. Who wouldn't feel that way in that situation.

There is indeed a LOT of ignorance around "experts". I always chuckle when someone here points out that only licensed professionals can make an AS diagnosis: the two who know the most about it that I know are a career counsellor and a social worker. The "experts" and "specialists" usually make ignorant statements like "you can't have 'Asburjers' since you have a job and had a friend in the past." or "so what if it took 3 years to find work? Everybody takes that long to find a career." :wall:

The best advise I got was from that social worker. She said "you probably have an ASD but who cares? Ultimately, you are who you are no matter what label you get."



ChristianSmith
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06 Jul 2015, 5:16 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
B19 wrote:
In the jargon, that difficulty is called "emotional dysregulation". However, it may be really important for you to consider that this is an effect, not a cause, of your past problems. When we are invalidated for long periods of our lives, enormous frustration builds up and that has a flow on effect in expression of emotion.

So the assumption should not be made that the cause of your problem is emotional dysregulation - that is putting the cart before the horse! I hope that this will not happen; though must warn you that there is a lot of ignorance surrounding Autistic Spectrum Disorders amongst "experts" and you need to do your own homework too, as you have started to do by taking the tests.

That's a very good point. I have the same issue and I agree, it's an effect, not a cause. Same with anxiety: sure it runs in the family but my anxiety is bad because I seem to randomly piss people off for no apparent reason at all. Who wouldn't feel that way in that situation.

There is indeed a LOT of ignorance around "experts". I always chuckle when someone here points out that only licensed professionals can make an AS diagnosis: the two who know the most about it that I know are a career counsellor and a social worker. The "experts" and "specialists" usually make ignorant statements like "you can't have 'Asburjers' since you have a job and had a friend in the past." or "so what if it took 3 years to find work? Everybody takes that long to find a career." :wall:

The best advise I got was from that social worker. She said "you probably have an ASD but who cares? Ultimately, you are who you are no matter what label you get."


My problem is that when i get down about siutuations and constantly worrying and wanting to kill myself because i think im a weirdo who cant keep friends. I must know why the way i am. I cant just accept who i am, i want to know why i was a magnet for bullies, have a vicious temper and find it difficult to think inside the box


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172


ChristianSmith
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06 Jul 2015, 5:19 am

Also im finding life hard at the moment and just want to have that tool, where i can think, right this situation has come about due to me thinking and acting differently, i cant change that, but possibly i can change the way i cope with the situation and understand myself. Thats all i want to do really is understand myself


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
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You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172


Jensen
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06 Jul 2015, 2:28 pm

Hi, Christian.

A very good project, that may be helpful to others, who deal with the same questions - and to you yourself, I hope. :)


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pcuser
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06 Jul 2015, 3:13 pm

ChristianSmith wrote:
Wen, bit of a rant up there ^^^^

So I'm nervous, scared of what I'll discover. I just want to have that label of something, then I can start to learn how to cope with people.

Remember that whatever they find, you're still the same person. All that will happen is you will have a better lens through which you can see your life. Also, the more you know, the better choices you will have to get and feel better. And, you can stop blaming yourself for things you have had little or no control over. Lastly, welcome to WP...



ChristianSmith
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07 Jul 2015, 2:14 pm

Thank you all of you


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
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You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
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SocOfAutism
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07 Jul 2015, 3:43 pm

Have you tried taking some online self tests yet? I personally like the RAADS-R and The Aspie Quiz best. The Aspie Quiz might be easier to score, but I like the answer choices on the RAADS-R. You could take a few different ones.

Keep in mind that false negatives are more common than false positives, and when answering questions to be very truthful and not use what you have come to know as the "correct" answer.

Oh, and what kind of plastic figures were these?



Anachron
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08 Jul 2015, 4:40 pm

Welcome Christian.
It took me about the same amount of time to discover that I was on the spectrum.
I battle depression daily.
I am interested in following your story.